Moving to a different State.

[Miyu38]

Don't know were to begin but I'm not sure for how long I can keep living this nightmare. I want to move out of state and start over. I'm also worried about my best friend and her predicament but she can't leave since she has kids. I just can't see my self staying on this Earth long if I don't leave and just start over. I never lived in another state before but I been thinking of leaving just scared to do it.
Has anyone on here just left there state or counties just to start over. Did it help or did it not. Maybe some pros and cons about moving to a whole new place would be good.

 

[Dynamic]

I've lived in another state for a year and my plans didn't work out then I moved back to a state next to the state I grew up in and I've lived here since.

 

[arfie]

i have, several times, but i grew up in a travelling freak show, coast to north american coast. moving to start over was second nature to me. after i abandoned the freak show, i went inter-continental on my own. the more impressive part was when i took a stand and stayed to work out the gory details of staying in one place.

during my frequent flier years i discovered that wherever i go, there i am, still haunted by the same old problems and the echoes of the people, places and things that created those problems. the geographical solution of moving on can help with imminent threats, such as resident rapists, bad company, etc., but it is far from a panacea.

 

[somerandomguy]

Moving away suddenly is a really surprising PTSD symptom and you'll find lots of us here have done it. The main problem is that we usually use this as a method of running away from ourselves, which of course doesn't work. It can lead to a temporary cessation of symptoms, because you're busy working on rebuilding your life - but they'll come back once you're settled in.

 

[Friday]

One of my absolute favourite things to do.

I’m another who grew up moving all the time (across 4 continents), though.

Most of the time? It helps tremendously. New weather. New air. New peoples/cultures (even in-country moves, people just do things differently in different regions). It’s enervating, and invigorating, and inspiring, and so damn easy to just be me.

There are also times where it doesn’t help at all, or makes things worse.

Right at the moment? I simply want to tie on my boots, and walk out the door, and never come back. Or lay down and die. One of the two. When I was younger, I’d have done exactly that. No preparation. Just decide and go. Stand up in a cafe and get on a train, walk out the door and get on the first plane, a dozen different variations of “I’m done.” and simply walking away with what was on me. Leaving everything/everyone behind me, without so much as a word. Mostly I got lucky. Always got lucky if one lowers the bar to “it didn’t kill me.” <<< Where I’m at right now in my head/heart… just walking away… is one of those that usually falls under “it doesn’t help at all / makes things worse”.

So it’s very much a double edged blade, for me. Something I’ve learned to do very intentionally rather than reactively. I’m reactive as f*ck, at the moment. So leaving isn’t the smart choice. In a few months with resources set aside, plans made/carried out? That’s a wholly different thing.

Part of why I am so reactive right now is that I should have already left here twice. Once, “because Covid”, f*cked those plans all to hell. And 3 months ago, getting sick/injured pushed the timeline back.

I hate this place. I AM getting the f*ck up outta here. As soon as I can do it smart.

 

[Miyu38]

Thanks for the feedback so far with all the in put helped me. I was about to kinda just up and leave in a few days of course that would not help with my job and away to live. So I'm just find way to transfer and save up money. There is just so many things hitting me at once. I take time to think about what I'm do the take action just with the walls closing in in everydirection I lost it. I still would like to move just need time. It's so hard but very nice to have people listen with out thinking your crazy I appreciate it I just found out something else crazy 10 minutes ago it never ends.

 

[caroline_13]

Don't know were to begin but I'm not sure for how long I can keep living this nightmare. I want to move out of state and start over. I'm also worried about my best friend and her predicament but she can't leave since she has kids. I just can't see my self staying on this Earth long if I don't leave and just start over. I never lived in another state before but I been thinking of leaving just scared to do it.
Has anyone on here just left there state or counties just to start over. Did it help or did it not. Maybe some pros and cons about moving to a whole new place would be good.

Yes. Several times. Sometimes you need to make your own momentum. And that may be all you know at the moment. Once you ride the wave, you can often see it clearly from hindsight.

Gaining independence will give you confidence. There may be difficult times but it's worth it.

Funny you posted because I just decided again to move to another state (although moving to a new community can be the same challenge even if within the same state). This time, I am in control of the move. Not gonna lie, it's a bit daunting dong it all by myself but I don't have anyone controlling me and my life anymore :)

 

[Miyu38]

Yes. Several times. Sometimes you need to make your own momentum. And that may be all you know at the moment. Once you ride the wave, you can often see it clearly from hindsight.

Gaining independence will give you confidence. There may be difficult times but it's worth it.

Funny you posted because I just decided again to move to another state (although moving to a new community can be the same challenge even if within the same state). This time, I am in control of the move. Not gonna lie, it's a bit daunting dong it all by myself but I don't have anyone controlling me and my life anymore :)

Yes I feel like I been saying I'm here for this person so I don't want to leave them behind and blah blah blah. It's true I worry about the ones I will leave but I never was able to do things for myself with out feeling like crap because I can't take care of others which has been on going since I was a little kid taking care of others. I will never get better if I don't know how to let others live and myself. I'm everyone's parent when I never even had kids before.

Good luck with the move. You got this far in life no point in stoping now.

 

[turrican]

I'll be moving soon too. The only way to live where I am right now in a tolerable way, would be to do something that my PTSD won't let me do. So I'll be moving. No idea if it'll work out but that's life.