Sufferer Multiple Serious Traumas In Two Weeks

[Ihavelosteverything]

In the past month my wife has an attempted suicide by cop and is in jail for now. The day after I was in a bad car accident (not injured) and four days later our apartment burnt to the ground and we lost everything including our pet cat. I now have to live with my mother along with my 14 month old granddaughter whom I now have sole custody over (her parents are heroin addicts). I have a trauma therapist,a family therapist and a psychiatrist.It has been over a month and I feel worse than ever. Grounding exercises are not working and are very hard. I am alone and lost with no idea what to do. I am trapped for so many reasons. My Avatar is what is left of the third floor before it collapsed on the second floor. At least none of us were home the fire was at 1:30 in the morning. My marriage of 33 years is most likely over. Whats next? Because I know darn well something is coming out of my control but it is coming. Key. Out of my control but that does not seem to help at all. I see my therapists once a week and my pysch. once a month. I don't see any future for me and I am responsible for a baby.

 

[Friday]

Welcome to the forum... and strap in for the long haul. If it's PTSD, this isn't something that's going to be sorted in months. It's going to take a lot of hard work, for a long time, but things do get better.

Not everyone develops PTSD, you may luck out and be able to put acute stress to bed by continuing to work with your team over the coming months (and good in you for getting that going, pronto). But if it is PTSD, this is going to take some time, and things will get worse before they get better. Not because you're doing it wrong, but just because that's how it works.

Again, welcome. :)

 

[KCPearl]

I am so sorry for your multiple losses. Sending lots of good vibes and thoughts your way.

 

[scout86]

Welcome to the forum. One thing about "here", you're not alone.

They say bad things come in 3's.... You should be about due for a change in luck? I hope that's the case and am glad you and your granddaughter escaped the fire. I'd say you've met "the future" and it is "her". Keep taking care of yourself so you can take care of the little one. And again, welcome, but sorry for all you've been through!

 

[The Albatross]

Very sorry to read of your losses... welcome.

 

[Ihavelosteverything]

Welcome to the forum... and strap in for the long haul.

Thank you for being kind enough to respond. It makes such a difference to know someone is listening. I have a long 33 year history of trauma. I have a feeling this was the BIG ONE or TWO or THREE. I got help within days. That has to help. I have been bi-polar. depressed ect. all my life but finding 30 police cars and EMT's at my apartment and my wife shot in the face is more than I ever had to deal with and that was the shooting not the fire. It's 7:39 I am tired but very scared to try to go to bed. No sleep at all last night. My granddaughter needs me to be Okay, so I am going to be Okay. Please, please, pray for me no nightmares. Please.

 

[scout86]

pray for me no nightmares. Please.

Consider it done.

My T says it's helpful to have some kind of ritual for going to sleep. To help your brain recognize it's time to sleep. He suggests stuff like imagine you're in something that seems to you to be a "safe" place.

If you have a nightmare, remember, it's only a dream. Can't hurt you, not real. With all you've been through, your brain has a lot to process, so a certain amount of that is to be expected, I guess. But, for tonight, a deep, quiet, restful sleep. For both you and the granddaughter. (Sometimes it helps to tell yourself that before you go to sleep.)

 

[sun seeker]

Please, please, pray for me no nightmares.

Done. May you and your granddaughter sleep soundly and have only pleasant dreams tonight and every night.

Welcome to the forum.

 

[Ihavelosteverything]

First off. I am glad I got rid of that Avatar. The last thing I need to do is look at whats left of that building. Thank you all for your welcomes. No nightmares last night but very little sleep. I cry every morning pretty badly until I can replace the bad thoughts with something else. I have been taking pictures of the sunrise or things the sun is rising on. I think it has something to do with the left side of your brain not working as well as the right side. I forget where I heard that but something as simple as slowly counting things in the room wake up the left side and it does help a little. That is until one of the things I am counting happens to be a trigger.Found that out the hard way.
One of the toughest things to accept is that this is going to take awhile to get better. I know "one day at a time" but I feel like my future is hopeless and the incidents I went thru last month are not over. I still have to deal with my wife and that breaks my heart. 33 years and 4 children but I know we are toxic for each other and both of us would not be where we are today if our relationship was healthy. My rational self knows this marriage is very unhealthy but when I do see her ( I have not since Jan 21, she was shot the 22nd ) it's going to be tough not to let all those years of enabling end. I gotta stop there for now. I can't deal with that thought. I can't see the keyboard past the tears. Taking a break.

 

[intothelight]

@Ihavelosteverything

Take it one day at a time and work on getting yourself better. Hopefully your wife will get the help she needs. Keep focusing on what is good and each day can be the start of something new and better.

 

[Ihavelosteverything]

Worst day yet. Therapy Mon at 4.Need to go to the Hospital? Please no. I'm not suicidal just really really hopeless.triggers, disorders, grounding tech. overwhelmed. Really bad day.