EMDR. feeling shitty after. I’m still feeling kinda bad even after we didn’t do EMDR last week. Help? UPDATE - dysregulated still after two weeks?

The_One

Learning
Trauma processing gets brutal, fast. Regardless of the methodolgy involved.

I knew this.

My trauma therapist definitely knew this (as he at first refused to get me court-ready, as what I needed would destabilize me too much, too fast, when I was already unstable & had no support built in to absorb the blow). The consequences of my NOT being court ready? Changed his mind, after he spoke at length with my attorney. And then with me. So there was some veeeeeery informed consent in play. On all of our parts. As, yes. I knew this would probably blow up my life, and possibly kill me.

2 YEARS is how long I dealt with the after-effects.

But? I didn’t kill myself, or flee the county, or go eyeballs deep in lethal coping mechanisms. There were a few rapid decompensations, but I was able to pull-up out of those tailspins before they killed me.

And? I made it through my court thing.

Shrug.

>>> Trauma Therapy / Trauma Processig is NOT like regular therapy where things get better. It’s infinitely more like Reconstructive Surgery (to repair old injuries that healed badly) followed by Physical Therapy. You’re able to walk/gimp in the door. And won’t be able to even sit up, much less walk, for the next several months to couple/few years. As old breaks are rebroken, and badly healed -but healed, nonetheless- tissue is cut and reattached. The PAIN is going to be miles worse than it was. The effects are brutal. But? The end result is only being able to gimp about, but walk/run/dance/gymnastic about.

“It gets worse, before it gets better.” Isn’t something most people can reeeeally prepare themselves for. X10 for those with trust issues. Whether it’s reconstructive surgery & physical therapy, or trauma therapy. Doesn’t make it any less true, though.
You said you suffered for 2 years ??? How long did you do EMDR???
I only did it for 2 sessions lol I don’t see how I’d be suffering for two years. That would seem pretty excessive.

Trauma processing gets brutal, fast. Regardless of the methodolgy involved.

I knew this.

My trauma therapist definitely knew this (as he at first refused to get me court-ready, as what I needed would destabilize me too much, too fast, when I was already unstable & had no support built in to absorb the blow). The consequences of my NOT being court ready? Changed his mind, after he spoke at length with my attorney. And then with me. So there was some veeeeeery informed consent in play. On all of our parts. As, yes. I knew this would probably blow up my life, and possibly kill me.

2 YEARS is how long I dealt with the after-effects.

But? I didn’t kill myself, or flee the county, or go eyeballs deep in lethal coping mechanisms. There were a few rapid decompensations, but I was able to pull-up out of those tailspins before they killed me.

And? I made it through my court thing.

Shrug.

>>> Trauma Therapy / Trauma Processig is NOT like regular therapy where things get better. It’s infinitely more like Reconstructive Surgery (to repair old injuries that healed badly) followed by Physical Therapy. You’re able to walk/gimp in the door. And won’t be able to even sit up, much less walk, for the next several months to couple/few years. As old breaks are rebroken, and badly healed -but healed, nonetheless- tissue is cut and reattached. The PAIN is going to be miles worse than it was. The effects are brutal. But? The end result is only being able to gimp about, but walk/run/dance/gymnastic about.

“It gets worse, before it gets better.” Isn’t something most people can reeeeally prepare themselves for. X10 for those with trust issues. Whether it’s reconstructive surgery & physical therapy, or trauma therapy. Doesn’t make it any less true, though.
I’m sorry but your post just really scared me
Trauma processing gets brutal, fast. Regardless of the methodolgy involved.

I knew this.

My trauma therapist definitely knew this (as he at first refused to get me court-ready, as what I needed would destabilize me too much, too fast, when I was already unstable & had no support built in to absorb the blow). The consequences of my NOT being court ready? Changed his mind, after he spoke at length with my attorney. And then with me. So there was some veeeeeery informed consent in play. On all of our parts. As, yes. I knew this would probably blow up my life, and possibly kill me.

2 YEARS is how long I dealt with the after-effects.

But? I didn’t kill myself, or flee the county, or go eyeballs deep in lethal coping mechanisms. There were a few rapid decompensations, but I was able to pull-up out of those tailspins before they killed me.

And? I made it through my court thing.

Shrug.

>>> Trauma Therapy / Trauma Processig is NOT like regular therapy where things get better. It’s infinitely more like Reconstructive Surgery (to repair old injuries that healed badly) followed by Physical Therapy. You’re able to walk/gimp in the door. And won’t be able to even sit up, much less walk, for the next several months to couple/few years. As old breaks are rebroken, and badly healed -but healed, nonetheless- tissue is cut and reattached. The PAIN is going to be miles worse than it was. The effects are brutal. But? The end result is only being able to gimp about, but walk/run/dance/gymnastic about.

“It gets worse, before it gets better.” Isn’t something most people can reeeeally prepare themselves for. X10 for those with trust issues. Whether it’s reconstructive surgery & physical therapy, or trauma therapy. Doesn’t make it any less true, though.
and btw your reply really scared me
 

The_One

Learning
Life.

A badly healed broken bone hurts more than healing it the first time. Because it needs to be rebroken, & rehealed.

It is, what it is.
Well I guess you were trying to make me feel better but I feel worse so thanks for that. :)
 

Freddyt

MyPTSD Pro
Idk how that’s possible. It’s been more than 2 weeks that I last had an EMDR session.
Reprocessing can last a while. Think of it like a card file, and its working its way through all your memories changing how you feel about the things you worked on in EMDR.
For me 45 years back for some of those memories. It can take a while sometimes to go through all that. It's why learning the PTSD cup and grounding are so important. The process can go quickly or slowly depending how many memories it has to fix. You can go from fine to so loaded with reprocessing you can't do simple things without feeling overloaded in minutes - or seconds.

PTSD cup and grounding got me through that part better than any other thing.......

Ask about bilateral stimulation or tapping too. Those can be a big help and tapping is great because you have to think about it so it keeps your head busy and keeps the intrusive thoughts and rumination down too.
 

Sideways

Moderator
Well I guess you were trying to make me feel better but I feel worse so thanks for that
Remember that peoples experiences will vary a lot.

It's a given that trauma work is hard work. It's not fun, it's not easy, it's not something to be done until you're stable for good reason.

But at the same time - there are folks here with ptsd from a single event, there are folks here who have decades of fairly continuous Criteria A trauma to work through, and everything in between. Recovery will be very different from one person to the next.
 

Movingforward10

MyPTSD Pro
I've not done EMDR, but I had a 'thing' (not sure what to call it right now) where I went into a regression/flashback for a few weeks following a therapy session where I first spoke about a particular event. And a rupture with my therapist thrown in, over a couple of sessions, because I was in a regressed state and seeing her as abusers from them. It was so painful and confusing and disorientating and I felt there was no way out. Being in a constant state of terror and agitation for a few weeks is horrendous, and feeling so isolated and alone with it all.

But there was a way out....
Processing.
Realising what was happening.
Trying to find me in the here and now as opposed to stuck back in 30 years ago in terror mode.
Back then there was no way out, I had no control, and no autonomy. But in the here and now: 100% I do. As do you.

Saying this, will no intention to frighten you, but hopefully with encouragement that you can get through this.
Have you told your therapist?
Maybe slow down or pause EDMR and get grounded and settled again.

It's horrendous what you're going through at the moment. But it does get better.
 

The_One

Learning
I've not done EMDR, but I had a 'thing' (not sure what to call it right now) where I went into a regression/flashback for a few weeks following a therapy session where I first spoke about a particular event. And a rupture with my therapist thrown in, over a couple of sessions, because I was in a regressed state and seeing her as abusers from them. It was so painful and confusing and disorientating and I felt there was no way out. Being in a constant state of terror and agitation for a few weeks is horrendous, and feeling so isolated and alone with it all.

But there was a way out....
Processing.
Realising what was happening.
Trying to find me in the here and now as opposed to stuck back in 30 years ago in terror mode.
Back then there was no way out, I had no control, and no autonomy. But in the here and now: 100% I do. As do you.

Saying this, will no intention to frighten you, but hopefully with encouragement that you can get through this.
Have you told your therapist?
Maybe slow down or pause EDMR and get grounded and settled again.

It's horrendous what you're going through at the moment. But it does get better.
Yes I told her and she knows.
I think I have a lot of power in this and I’m not even thinking about the target and the person in the target. It’s just the after effects or something of it that make me feel shitty. I feel like I can move past this but for some reason my body wants me to be stuck like this.

It was about my self worth and appearance basically. I Rmbr because after that EMDR session I had a flashback from elementary school about being rejected from friends I’m pretty sure it’s bc they thought I was super ugly. It really hurt to think about that woman again. Especially after EMDR.
I’m not having flashbacks now I stopped EMDR. I’m just still feeling really crappy.
I think working from home is not helping and the fact that it’s a new job and sometimes I feel so stressed and overwhelmed from this new job.
Constant comparison of people doing better than me, looking better than me, making more money than me is triggering me so I had to stop instagram and deleted it.
 

Freida

MyPTSD Pro
Constant comparison of people doing better than me, looking better than me, making more money than me is triggering me so I had to stop instagram and deleted it.
This is something emdr can help with as a fairly easy start without huge rebounds. Remember - the main goal is to change how you think about events. So if you can change this thought process (I can't compare to others) to something better {there is no competition) it might give you an emdr win and a chance to see it can work without a ton of pain afterwards.
 
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