Things have been especially difficult for me during this process of commitment to healing, this past weeks feels powerful enough to bring a marble statue to it's knees weeping with exhaustion waving the white flag. It being Friday and having had a difficult session with my tdoc, I was ready to call it a day very early. I needed to take my meds and eat, change, and just find a good show I had recorded early that would help me to unwind and relax safely in my own home.
As I'm fixing my lunch I realize that it would be best to take my 'scream and soak up the silence of the Desert' money and send it off to my Son. He needs a few things and this way it doesn't have to come out of his food or bill budget and can help out with a few other things. It feels great to do this and I add a little note, quickly getting it together so I don't miss the mail lady as she comes by.
Going out the door I find a UPS envelope from a term life policy that a friend of mine had when he died 10 years ago, naming me as beneficiary. I know nothing of this!!! My friend never had much but the things his Attorneys had sent to my home with a quick call advising me of his sudden death were more than I could comprehend at that time or for years. It's only been in the past few years that I have been able to go through the boxes and been able to see what amazing slides of beautiful black and whites, local town's people, landscapes, and historic buildings.
Back to the point, this life insurance company has been trying to reach me but for various reason it's not been possible now. Believe me I thought it was a scam at first and I did the usual investigating, giving them the works, then after all that finding out that my dearest friend was actually just feeling like, HEY! You need a hug and now it's time to go that desert or where ever you think you need to go because that's how you are, always have been so I'm saying HERE, I love you :barefoot:
What a Rake that Man is, I loved him the minute I met him, standing so angry in the back of the room, refusing to take part. So North East American and well educated, so so out of place. I walked up to him and said "hi, want to get some coffee or something, boy, you looked pissed, I am too." He said he liked me because I never hit on him, HA! I didn't want to, I just wanted a friend who wasn't afraid of me and who understood the feeling of being as out of place in meetings as I did. They were pissy to me there too but I just didn't care. I was young and held on to the adage " all you need is a desire" so screw them I was going and taking THE most comfortable chair every single day so I did. My friend sat in the back and gave off waves of "up yours", I loved it :D. He was so kind though. I saw him whenever I popped in from places I lived. He was so artistic and brilliant. I have missed him with all my heart. He ended up working for Big Brothers, he had a brother that was institutionalize due to being Mentally Slow, heart of gold. See you never know.....
Raining feelings everywhere...............
As I'm fixing my lunch I realize that it would be best to take my 'scream and soak up the silence of the Desert' money and send it off to my Son. He needs a few things and this way it doesn't have to come out of his food or bill budget and can help out with a few other things. It feels great to do this and I add a little note, quickly getting it together so I don't miss the mail lady as she comes by.
Going out the door I find a UPS envelope from a term life policy that a friend of mine had when he died 10 years ago, naming me as beneficiary. I know nothing of this!!! My friend never had much but the things his Attorneys had sent to my home with a quick call advising me of his sudden death were more than I could comprehend at that time or for years. It's only been in the past few years that I have been able to go through the boxes and been able to see what amazing slides of beautiful black and whites, local town's people, landscapes, and historic buildings.
Back to the point, this life insurance company has been trying to reach me but for various reason it's not been possible now. Believe me I thought it was a scam at first and I did the usual investigating, giving them the works, then after all that finding out that my dearest friend was actually just feeling like, HEY! You need a hug and now it's time to go that desert or where ever you think you need to go because that's how you are, always have been so I'm saying HERE, I love you :barefoot:
What a Rake that Man is, I loved him the minute I met him, standing so angry in the back of the room, refusing to take part. So North East American and well educated, so so out of place. I walked up to him and said "hi, want to get some coffee or something, boy, you looked pissed, I am too." He said he liked me because I never hit on him, HA! I didn't want to, I just wanted a friend who wasn't afraid of me and who understood the feeling of being as out of place in meetings as I did. They were pissy to me there too but I just didn't care. I was young and held on to the adage " all you need is a desire" so screw them I was going and taking THE most comfortable chair every single day so I did. My friend sat in the back and gave off waves of "up yours", I loved it :D. He was so kind though. I saw him whenever I popped in from places I lived. He was so artistic and brilliant. I have missed him with all my heart. He ended up working for Big Brothers, he had a brother that was institutionalize due to being Mentally Slow, heart of gold. See you never know.....
Raining feelings everywhere...............
