My bff was diagnosed yesterday. What did you need from friends?

[LuckiLee]

One of my bff's was diagnosed with PTSD yesterday. I know she's been in a couple of abusive relationships so I'm guessing that's where her trauma originates. She told me because she said I would understand. I've told her about the book The body keeps the score. What else should I share with her. What advice or help did you want /need when you were diagnosed? Thanks in advance. XO

And what other PTSD forums are out there? I'd love to share this one with her but I'm selfish. ;)

 

[Freida]

And what other PTSD forums are out there? I'd love to share this one with her but I'm selfish.

me too!!!

There are a couple good ptsd groups on facebook - and dv specific ones too. I'd also point her to the domestic violence folks in her town -- they will probably have groups to suggest.

I didn't know what I needed at the beginning - I found this site about 2 years in. I think I would have been overwhelmed if I had tried to come here at the beginning because my trust issues are such....an issue :laugh:

For me what helped the most was having a friend who understood and who had been thru something similar Then there was finding guru to walk me through the specific day to day life of living with ptsd. He taught PRACTICAL skills - not just grounding and counting and crap. He taught me things like how to make it through the grocery store without bolting or attacking someone. So passing those on might be helpful for her.

I think just being there for her is the best thing - let her talk it out when she needs to. But take care of you! Having two people in your real life with ptsd? That might get to be a heavy burden pretty quickly.

 

[Ronin]

what other PTSD forums are out there?

So a quick check had Psychcentral has articles and a PTSD forum, for one.

Then seconding Facebook groups.
Some blogging sites may have some, too, but I am not sure as to activeness of them anymore (was thinking Livejournal and the like, they used to have quite rich mental health and survivors communities.)

And seconding on asking her what she needs?
The first time I sought help it was intrusive thoughts I did not know were flashbacks and definitely did not want, because that was a long time ago and buried so f*ck off, the second time I needed to keep moving and stumbled upon Anthony's articles and the other forum which left me very WTF, why would people talk, that is stupid :eek:, then it was issues with anger and not exploding on people I was pissing myself off with, and then I landed in here corners after fresh issues and things just bursting open altogether (and the talking things out group suddenly not being oversentimental, but just the needed Been There guys).

Quite different stages of denial over things in those times, and while the needs were roughly the same (information + coping strategies that are not my wide array of unhealthy ones, had those :smug: ), the willingness to accept help was wiildly else each of those times.

 

[LuckiLee]

Thanks Freida! I knew I could count on you. I told her she can share as much or as little as she feels comfortable with. She's doing okay. I guess. She deals with things with humor. She texted me she has another appointment on Friday for electro shock therapy. Then added LOL. Made me spit my pop out. Lmao. :D I'll slowly share information with her and answer whatever I can. I've known her 35 years and consider her my sister. I love her to bits and this REALLY SUCKS! She's safe now and that's what matters at this moment.

Thanks @Ronin. Yeah. Every day is different. Inn'it? She knows I'm here. Hell, she shared it with me just hours after her appointment. That's huge in my book. I'll answer whatever I can and send her to factual information. She's smart and strong , she'll figure things out. I know it. She does have bad "coping strategies" too. Now she can figure out and understand, why? Thanks guys. You Rock!!

 

[EveHarrington]

Don’t get “weird”....(I doubt you will given you’re in the mix already)

Accept her as she is. Treat her like she’s NORMAL! Lol.

Be a cool “no pressure” friend.

 

[blackemerald1]

Yeah - just be her friend. Not her psydoc or T or guru. And especially when she is symptomatic be kind.

Basically, treat other's like you would like to be treated. :hug:

 

[Lucycat]

I agree with the others - simply continue to be her friend. I had a friend who tried to 'look after' me - but she became controlling and coercive. She knew less than nothing about PTSD but thought she knew what was best for me and she could not accept that I was getting better. In the end I had to cease the friendship for my own sanity

 

[whiteraven]

Patience.

 

[IceQueencop]

Let her know that you are willing to listen. Even though you might not understand you will not judge her or think anything less of her. Talking to normal people about weird PTSD stuff can be tough, some people are scared, most just don’t understand. Being able to just talk to someone normally about the weird PTSD stuff w/o feeling like a total freak is helpful.

 

[jaay]

The best thing you can do is just be there for your friend- let her vent to you, stay by her side, try help her up when she's feeling down. Right now, she'll probably value your support most