What Did You Need To Hear As A Kid But Never Did?

[WillyKat]

You're absolutely right about tone of voice. And I think we're aware of it more than those w/o PTSD.

 

[ghotiff]

I will always be here with you. You do not have to hide from me. You can be your true self with me.

 

[Lionheart]

I guess I needed to hear things like the following:

I love you just as you are, no matter what and I will not leave you.
I will be here to protect you.
I am here for you.
Just because bad things happen does not mean you are bad.
Your father is a sick man and he is wrong for hurting you/me/us.
You deserve to be happy and healthy and safe from harm.
If anyone hurts you, you can tell me about it and I will make them stop.

 

[shell]

I love you, and you are accepted.
What we did to you was wrong and I am sorry, it was our fault.
You do matter
You belong
You are important to me.

 

[FindingMyself88]

I love you.
You were not a mistake.
You have every right to feel your pain, don't be guilted by your mom.
You are NOT the adult.
None of this is your fault.
It's okay to be afraid, not everyone is going to punish you for it.
It is okay to tell someone what they have done to you.
You did not cause your mom to loose contact with her brother, his son shouldn't have done that to you.
You are a great daughter.

**as a teenager**
You are nothing like your mom.
You should be able to be yourself.
Your not doing anything bad.
Your mom has no right to yell and hit you.
Your dad abandoning you has nothing to do with you, but with him.
Other people will love you.


Wow this is a very powerful post..

 

[silkleaves]

Two simple things really... I love you, and I'm proud of you.

And I know that those are important to me, because I find myself saying those things to my own daughter a lot...along with anytime she does something special, like goes out of her way for me, by telling her what a great daughter she is.

We had dinner with my boss and his wife both of whom I work with, and that night she said that my boss's wife told her how she can tell I am so proud of her, because whenever I talked about her I just light up and she loves asking me about her because I always have something great to say. I wish that my mother had the same reaction towards me..that its not just the words, but like you all also mentioned, that her actions, her whole vibe showed that she genuinely loved me and was proud of me, proud to have me as her daughter.

I look at kiddo, and for 17 years now, I'm constantly in total awe how lucky I am to have her as my daughter. She is who she is because she knows how much I appreciate and love her, not because she feels like she has to prove herself. She has way too much self-confidence and secure within herself for that! That's a gift that I wish I could have gotten. But at least it was something I was able to give.