My bipolar moods (with severity)

[Changing4Best]

I had to take another PRN of my clonazepam, but I am OK now, so I am glad I did. I don't normally take 2 of them in a day, but with these wild mood swings, I really felt the need. I was then able to settle down and read a book calmly. I would not have been able to do that with the MANIC ongoing as it was, plus the anxiety that got added to it. I also feel a lot better physically. I was feeling sort of weak and sick before I took it.

 

[Changing4Best]

I am DISGUSTED at a 10 where 10 is worst, here's why:

The lead bully at the Senior Center today put his hands on me and asked me, "Could you chew this up for me, honey, so I could swaller it?" as we were given out lunches today. I said to him, "Gene! That is disgusting." After lunch, he again put his hands on my shoulders and said something to me again, calling me "honey" again, so I raised my voice so everyone in the whole room could hear me and said, "Don't put your hands on me and don't call me honey!" He "Yes Ma'am"-ed me, but I could not tell if it was a sarcastic "Yes Ma'am." or a real one. (2 of the men in the room gave me supportive words or gestures when I did this, so I was happy about that).

I later went to the Senior Center Director and told her what happened, and that he had also been harassing one of our newer members, a woman of course, asking her to "...wash my dirty drawers." which he has done to other women too. The Director said she'd handle it, but I told her, "No, you need to get the big boss to talk to him, he won't listen to a woman, he needs a talking to by a man." She didn't say anything to that, and I had to leave, so I don't know what will happen, but I for sure know that SOMETHING has to be done about this, before he drives some new poor soul away for good, before she has even had a chance to meet the rest of us!!! I am still quite upset by all this. This is the same one that said something to the tune of, "Why don't you bring your bed too, while you're at it." in reference to my bringing my pillow to sit on, on Friday, like I have for the last year, for cryin' out loud!!! This guy is so obnoxious.

 

[Changing4Best]

So you were right, @JadesJewel, ignoring the bully produces negative results. It is too passive of a way to handle the situation and actually handles nothing. I guess it just leaves the "door" wide open for more of the same (or even worse). I am hoping that my proactive steps today will have lasting results, as I have been really upset over all this, throughout the whole weekend and then even more so today too.

 

[Deleted member 37085]

I believe the Senior Center has a moral and ethical obligation (if not legal one) to protect and safeguard all it's members from bullying which for the bully his/her subjugating behaviors are compulsive in nature, addictive, and from what I've read therefore are not going away:banghead:. It can be managed by those in powers of authority. I can't wait to really dig into book I've recently purchased on bullying @SheilaKathy, I haven't had a chance to do this yet.
From your book have you been able to learn any more about bullies, etc.:hug:

 

[Deleted member 37085]

I am DISGUSTED at a 10 where 10 is worst, here's why:

The lead bully at the Senior Center today pu...

Putting his hands on you is an extreme boundary violation @SheilaKathy! Oh my Gosh!

 

[Changing4Best]

I believe the Senior Center has a moral and ethical obligation (if not legal one) to protect and saf...

You are right about this, there really is an obligation of the Senior Center to keep this under control.

My book says that BULLYING IS AT AN EPIDEMIC LEVEL in Senior Services organizations. That was what struck a chord with me the most. EPIDEMIC means that it is widespread and growing or flourishing. It also said that some of these organizations treat it as basically "nothing to be concerned about" along with that old adage that "sticks and stones will break your bones, but words will never hurt you." And then it adds this this cliche is very untrue and why. I'm the perfect example of the fact that it is untrue. I have been scarred for life by bullying.

 

[Deleted member 37085]

It's a fact...bullying can literally kill...and also has a lasting detrimental effect on it's vulnerable victims. I found the site called U.G.L.Y. (Unique Gifted Lovable You) - Empowering Youth To Be Part Of The Solution To Bullying - and the suicide statistics are mind-blowing as to the number of precious young people who take their lives due to bullying. Bullying has been directly linked to school shootings (murders), eating disorders, substance abuse, etc. And of course...ptsd. If interested - check above site out...Peace and Love...:hug:

 

[Changing4Best]

Well, I had therapy today. She suggested saying, "Stop it!" and "Leave me alone!!!" if I get bothered again. However, I saw yesterday's bully walk into the Senior Center Director's office today and he was in there for awhile. He did not say a WORD to me today, but then I did not look at him or speak to him either, so he really did not have much of a chance to do so.

I'm kind of disappointed that my therapist didn't have more ideas as to how to handle it. She said she knew about those suggestions from dealing with younger patients and info about school bullying, but she has no info about older adults and bullying among them. In fact, the book I am reading says there is little info published about it concerning older adults and yet it also says that it is at an EPIDEMIC among older adults! The study the book is based upon gives a lot of examples, but many of them take place in adult communities, nursing homes and the like. Not many of the examples take place at Senior Centers. So probably my Director is not that familiar with the subject and since not a lot has been published about it, it probably was not something that she has come across in her various courses and studies that she has had to study for her job. That is probably especially true, because her job is mostly about signing folks up for Medicare, not so much just being the Director of the Senior Center. Also, she is in charge of the Meals On Wheels Program, so she really has little time to devote to something like one or two folks being bullied at the Center. More than 5 to 10 minutes devoted to such a thing is out of her focus, I am sure.

So I am DISGRUNTLED at a 7 where 10 is bad or so, because there really isn't much of anything that I can do about this except what my therapist suggests, if it continues. SIGH....

 

[The Albatross]

I kinda have to wonder what you are really trying to do here. Are you trying to arrest the behavior... which takes time and consistency or are you trying to prove a point? People do, Sheila, need time to adapt to changing circumstances. That includes people who make insensitive or bullying comments as well.

 

[Changing4Best]

Simply put, @The Albatross I am working at NOT being bullied. Bullies don't need time to "adjust." They need to stop bullying, period. Whatever it takes to stop them should be done. It has already been said by the Senior Center Director that people can be denied the right to come to the Center if they pick on or tease others. The word BULLY was not used, but the point was delivered. She (the Director) did not witness my being bullied 2 days ago, with hands being put onto me also. I think if she had witnessed it, she might have had a stronger reaction to it, but I don't know. She might just be one of those people who is "all talk and no action."

Anyway, I have not been bullied in 2 days now, since I spoke out super loudly in protest to having had the bully place his hands on me and call me "Honey."

My client also did very well today, so I am pleased, very pleased.

 

[Changing4Best]

Well, NO ONE dares to bully me now at the Center. I have, I guess, finally made it clear that I will NOT tolerate being bullied. Maybe raising my voice was a bit "dramatic" or something, but it got the point across. I have told several folks the story and none of them has said anything against what I did. In fact, they all were very supportive and hopeful that what I did will solve the problem and keep it from ever happening again. I am HOPEFUL at a 9 where 9 is good too, that it has solved the problem. Only time will tell if my HOPE is justified. I do not at all regret raising my voice or setting my boundaries. I know I did the right thing.

Today the bully who put his hands on me the other day was very respectful, giving me plenty of room to pass him by and saying something to encourage me to go ahead of him. I said, "Thank you." to him. And I passed him by giving him plenty of room to stay away from me.

I had to put him in his place before, once. He was bullying a friend of mine who is mentally challenged and has mental illness also. He just walked up to her and started to bully her without cause! I yelled at him then and told him to leave her alone. (He never bothered her again in my presence or when I was anywhere near her). From that experience alone, he should have known better than to get "smart" with me or bully me or put his hands upon me, but I guess he needed another lesson. And after 3 bad encounters with him, one last Friday and the 2 this week, I think I knew deep down inside that he needed a message that would not be forgotten. So I gave him one.

Jesus had to use anger sometimes, like when He overturned the money changers' tables. God gave us anger for a reason, and sometimes, rarely, I will admit, it is needed. This week, with this bully, anger was the right thing to do. I firmly believe that. Maybe there might have been a "better" way to handle it. However, I really do not know what way that might have been. This is a man who regularly mistreats women. My encounters with him are not unique. He has many times said degrading things to women in my presence. He needed to be corrected. And I corrected him. Period.

If he gets out of line with me ever again, I will correct him again!

 

[Changing4Best]

Today is a kind of relaxing day, my day off from work, so I am trying to take it easy. I know I have to clean the Guinea Pig's cage, which I HATE doing, so I am putting it off. None the less, it needs to be done. So I will do it. Soon.

As to the past week, I am GLAD to put it behind me. I am looking forward to a bully-free week ahead. One with peace of mind and heart and soul. My soul wants God's peace, more than anything right now. I want to just sit with God and commune with Him. That would give me SERENITY, I think, so that is what I am going to do after I clean that cage.