JEKBreatheandBelieve
MyPTSD Pro
I have been quiet busy lately especially the last couple of weeks. Both of my sons has birthdays recently. My youngest turned 10 and my oldest 13. I am now the mother of a teenager. When my oldest was a baby and through preschool, we were close even when my youngest was born. We've had some trouble communicating effectively to one another for several years now. He knows how to push my buttons and my younger parts have difficulty not getting into a child-like argument with him. Recently, all of that is getting better. I am wondering if it is because he turned 13 and for me I think that while there was trauma going on at that age, some of the heavier stuff was stopping and so maybe his age is not triggering me any more. It's strange how at every age they've been, specific trauma memories can come up.
As for my 10 year old, I worry about him. I feel like I have failed him as a parent because I have been in and out of the house so much with mental health hospitalizations, that we're just now getting him the testing he needs to help him succeed better in academic and life situations. He's extremely bright so that's not an issue. But keeping him organized, completing work, and completling daily life tasks has been hard. I still think of him as being so much younger. I know I haven't really failed him because he loves me and I love him and I have given him steady, true love. I just hope we can help him with his challenges more now.
It's also a little sad that my kids are getting older. I look forward to watching them grow and to seeing what they decide to do in life. Yet, part of me would like them to remain little a little longer than they will. Some days I really miss when they were 9 months-5 years old. I have not ever missed them being newborns. I savor those memories, but I don't want to repeat those.
How do other parents feel with their children growing older? Anyone else have that experience of being triggered when your children are certain ages that were full of trauma for you when you were there age?
As for my 10 year old, I worry about him. I feel like I have failed him as a parent because I have been in and out of the house so much with mental health hospitalizations, that we're just now getting him the testing he needs to help him succeed better in academic and life situations. He's extremely bright so that's not an issue. But keeping him organized, completing work, and completling daily life tasks has been hard. I still think of him as being so much younger. I know I haven't really failed him because he loves me and I love him and I have given him steady, true love. I just hope we can help him with his challenges more now.
It's also a little sad that my kids are getting older. I look forward to watching them grow and to seeing what they decide to do in life. Yet, part of me would like them to remain little a little longer than they will. Some days I really miss when they were 9 months-5 years old. I have not ever missed them being newborns. I savor those memories, but I don't want to repeat those.
How do other parents feel with their children growing older? Anyone else have that experience of being triggered when your children are certain ages that were full of trauma for you when you were there age?