My Daughter Got Beat Up By Her Husband Last Night While She Was Asleep

[Deleted member 12723]

I called my daughter today and she is feeling everything hit her. She was down, I think she was feeling overwhelmned today.

She will call me tommorow after she files the paper for the permanent restraining order and the divorce. He will be served by a sheriff. They will need to find him. I do not know if he had to tell them where he is living at. I do not know how he will take it. He was not happy in the marriage to be doing things like that. I swear he has untreated ptsd.

That does not excuse what he did.

My daughter is overwhelmned and down today. I asked her if she was not sleeping because she got attacked in her sleep. I will be paying for her continued therapy. She needs that help especially now. Mabe her psych doc will give her something to sleep. I hope so. On Tuesday she is going to welfare and apply for it. She said she was going to have a busy week. She still has not installed a voice mail on her phone.

So when I call her and I cannot get ahold of her I cannot leave a message. She has so much to do. She was relaxing this weekend for the week ahead. I am going to her house on Thursday and on Saturday. I will probably have to make another car payment for her because she was behind. Her ex quit his job and quit paying child support.

I hope it all catches up with him and they get him in arrears. His family is all screwed up and do not acknowledge the little one. Her first husband went away and has not payed a dime. I hope they get him for that too. He never signed over his parental rights.

Her little one asked her if she was going to get married again and she has sworn off men. She said she would raise her girls by herself from now on.

I am still having luck with my computer but I will have to take it to Best Buy to have them do diagnostics on the laptop and the plug. If it is the plug I hope I can replace it. I really cannot afford to replace this laptop. I need it to work. I hope it is not the battery. I hate technology and yet I need it.

I feel so bad for my daughter and the girls. This is such a shame. I do not understand her husband. He had everything and now he threw it away by his actions. He plays like he is such a nice guy. He knows he cannot fool us so he leaves us alone. He cannot get me to feel sorry for him.

Thank you so much for your continued support. It is keeping me going. I really appreciate it so much.

 

[Nicolette]

Thinking of you, your daughter and your grandchildren during this difficult time. Your husband too!

Despite the adversity I am delighted to see your relationship with your daughter being rebuilt Gizmo. May the future only hold positives for all of you. :hug:

 

[ms spock]

I am so glad that you got a bit of a break and were able to attend to and meet some of your own needs gizmo. That is crucial for you as a person gizmo. It is also important for all those that you are caretaking and supporting. It is a most responsible and sensible thing to do.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Thank you for your continued support. I feel like I got my daughter back. It is so good to be able to talk with them. They are not afraid to talk anymore. They were a family under seige.

Well I woke up this morning feeling good. It is the first time that it happened. I feel pretty good. Probably because she if filing for divorce. I am so happy about that, she is done with him. I am so happy about that.

I will see them on Valentines Day to drop off some treats I got for them. I will get my nails done this week too. I will also go over to my daughters house on Saturday. I hope my husband will feel like staying home again. It is so nice to have a break from the caregiving. He had two hallucinations this morning. But he managed to open the curtains so mabe today will be anoter good day.

I will go and get frappes today. I feel pretty safe now. He is respecting the order so this means to me he does not want to go back to jail. It is so nice that he cannot moniter her phone calls and he is not calling her or coming over.

I love being close with my daughter again. I feel so bad because I did not see the signs because I have been so wrapped up in caregiving for my husband. I will make a doctors appointment for him today so I can get his permission for home health care. I feel alittle nervous about taking this step. But I think it is time.

He spilled in the fridge and he is cleaning it up. I guess I should go and help him I will give an update after she goes to court.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Well she is going to be at the courthouse all day. I will go over to her house at three o clock to be there for when the girls get home from school and baby sit them until she comes home.

She could not file for divorce because they told her she could only file one paper at a time. Her friend did not go with her. She had stuff to do.

So she is stuck. She is not having a good day. I feel so dissappointed. I assumed it would be like the other courthouse she used to go to. She said she had trouble finding the place. It is huge I guess. She is sitting in her car. Lucky she gave me a key so I can get into the house.

I am so dissappointed. I hope the judge grants her order. She is stuck, stuck, stuck. I hate beurocracy. It is such a pain in the ass.

 

[Eleanor]

I am so terribly sorry for all this turmoil in your world gizmo - I had so hoped you had found the peace you and your husband have worked to hard to create for yourselves. And it sounds like your daughter is going to be ok - and you will too. This may be an instance of "creative destruction" - the crisis that had to come for the healing of your daughter and granddaughter's lives to begin. You know ALOT that they need to know to get through this and not carry it with them for their lives - processing trauma is processing trauma. You know how to do that - and they need to learn beginner through advanced. Who better to teach them? Although it is a lesson none of us wishes for anyone else.

Sending love and healing for your family. And many many hugs for you dear gizmo!

 

[ms spock]

I will make a doctors appointment for him today so I can get his permission for home health care. I feel alittle nervous about taking this step. But I think it is time.

It is a good and brave step to take gizmo.

 

[ms spock]

She could not file for divorce because they told her she could only file one paper at a time.

That does seem rather odd gizmo.

Is there a Legal Aid or a domestic violence officer at the court that she can ask advice? In Australia some courthouses have drop in type aid available.

I am so disappointed. I hope the judge grants her order. She is stuck, stuck, stuck. I hate beurocracy. It is such a pain in the ass.

I really hope she gets the order gizmo. Wishing you all the best and some justice as well!

 

[Deleted member 12723]

My daughter is so drained. Everything is hitting her like a ton of bricks. I hate to see her like that. She is not sleeping. She has to figure out how to serve him the papers. I need to tell her I will pay for the fees for getting a sheriff to go his work and serve him there. On the order it says he has to keep paying the mortgage. That is a good thing.

She is so wiped out. It is scary to see her like that. She said tommorow she will go and get a new phone because she is having problems with her phone. On Wed. she will go and apply for welfare. I hope she gets it. They will help her out.

I am so worried about her. She came home and just layed down. It was good to see the girls. My husband stayed at home. On the way home I stopped and picked us up some take out.

I hate to see her so drained and overwhelmned. She is having allergies. She said she is losing weight. She said she is eating. I am just so worried about her. It is awful to see.

 

[Whitneys story]

Gizmo, There are no words to take it all away! You are strong and have taught your daughter well. The Domestic Violence system is so broken. Their should be advocates available through the Police Dept. to help with all of the next stages.

Holding you all in my heart, Behemoth Hugs Whitney

 

[Whitneys story]

The latest in safety is Wasp Spray! It will shoot 25 feet and is legal to have. Shoot for the eyes. I know it is terrible
to think of these things.

I do hope for all he obeys the law! The odds are he might not. It is better to be prepared.
More Hugs, Whitney :ninja: Will be following him and every move he makes.

 

[ms spock]

I know it is hard to see your daughter suffering gizmo but I think it is a really positive sign that she is having feelings and beginning to fall apart a little. Good stress release.

You daughter has been in a terribly emotionally abusive, verbally abusive and controlling relationship for 7 years, over that time her sense of self has been eroded. It is going to take some time for her to rebuild herself.

The sense of relief of getting out of such a 7 year relationship must be immense. She can really take to her mother again! She can talk to people again. Her conversations on the phone are not being monitored.

Your daughter has your emotional and financial support. She has your love and concern. It will be a journey for you all. If I had 5% of a mother like you my life would have been so very different. I feel pleased that she has you and you have her again.

The let down after the court appearance can be quite emotional.