My Daughter Got Beat Up By Her Husband Last Night While She Was Asleep

[anni]

I must have missed the part where he wants time with the girls. Hang on while I go look for my box of Kleenex, ohhhh poor guy.Yes, of course they miss him terribly also, especially the part where he's beating the bejeesis out of their mother, PLEASE, please come back to us! Hahahahahahaha! Oh dear. Some of these bozos are just so eye-poppingly ballsy you quite believe what is coming out of their mouths, can you?

I don't think he's as smooth as he thinks he is, maybe smooth like Ex-Lax, a big, fat bowel movement. We tend to become so terrorized by the 'what ifs' that logic stops, like when we're pregnant for the first time, remember? Alllll the old ladies came out of the woodwork, decided it was their business to fill us in on all the 120 hour labors, 3 headed babies and sadistic doctors they personally encountered while bravely enduring their childbearing years. Our heads go from zero to disaster in 60 seconds or less, a Maserati should be so lucky. So we believe him, his lawyer, his parents and the sorry, sway-back excuse of an equine disaster of a horse they all rode in on. It's all fore-play, please remember. Not one thing is settled legally. So far, 'It' is a carefully orchestrated bunch of nonsense calculated to freak you and your daughter the heck out- the judge hasn't heard a thing, nor has one thing been decided either way, he just 'sounds good', bottom line. If that isn't terrorism I don't know what is.

He's staring down the barrel of your daughter's bottomless, no-nonsense gun, also. I hope to heck he's freaked out because he should be. He can scream and yell and witch all he wants but the facts are still there. A judge in our legal system WILL see that he beat up a female,really attempted murder even if they can't say that, his wife, terrorized her and her family, that he lied about it, continues to do so, and requires neutering if anyone can find a vet willing to get close enough to snip the correct parts. That's prison, anyway, where he's not a very dangerous kind of guy and the REALLY dangerous guys will let him know that within a day of arrival, the wuss.

I'm in an extremely intolerant mood today where supposedly big, bad men are concerned, believe me. Macho pieces of cr*p who use their gifts as MEN not to take care of females and old people, but to terrorize, intimidate and control them, if they can't succeed well they'll just go ahead and destroy them. Pitiful. They can bluster and terrify alllll they want Gizmo, all it does is prove there's a little boy's department at Walmart where there are a few more pairs of tighty-whitey underwear gone missing. Yours, thank Goodness and your family's solid 'NO' isn't going to get anywhere but nowhere, please believe me. We just have one around here with a large, elderly cow attached, cutting a destructive swath through our family all because the elderly ( rapidly aging at least, not talking about my lovely mother ) cow thinks her Macho POC ( piece of cr*p ) walks on water. I would just like you to know how much respect I have for you folks as a family to have stuck together. It means a great deal to me to witness it, is the thing. Maybe I can't have it in my family, it's already been dissassembled beyond reclaim, the damage mounts daily. All they 'theys' here are continuing this bizarre offensive war where there's no defense since we have NO idea what the heck is going on, it's all pretty wierd. There's one of these macho poc's at the bottom of the putrid mess, to be sure. It's just kind of nice to see normal people out here, behaving like they plain old like each other, saying NO to to what really is something evil in their midst. People like that, doing what you're doing together, pretty much always do the winning, swear. :hug:

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Eleanor thank you so much for what you said.

I am afraid of the guy and I tend to horrabilize about it. I have my daughter calling me every morning to know she is ok. I really worry too much. He has stayed away from her.

The waiting and uncertainty are the hardest part. I hate suspense. Thank you for the reminder to stay in the present. I really needed that reminder.

Thank you for the suggestion to talk to my granddaughter about being a witness in court. She definately has moral certainty. I remember the night they all came over after it happened and she kept telling her mom to the police. She has such a strong sense of justice. She does not put up with much. She cannot stand the guy and is so happy that he is out of their lives now.

Yes I bet that she does want to even the score. I will talk to her about it tommorow when I go over there to their house.

Thank you for your sensitivity and your wisdom. I will do what you said. I really appreciate you sharing those things with me.


anni,

You are so funny. You made me laugh at some of the things you said. I am so afraid of the guy. I am horrabilizing. He has stayed away from her and he did file for divorce. He just wants his guns back. He is such a slime ball.

Thank you so much for what you said. It is a bunch of nonsense designed to terrify. No judge has decided anything yet. He is such a liar. He is such a piece of work. I need to get angry at him instead of being so afraid of him and his lies.

I saw the pictures of his hands yesterday when my daughter came over to visit us. His knuckles were all red. I am so glad the police took pictures of his hands.

Thank you for the reminder not to go to disaster. I am afraid I have been doing that. It is the suspense which is getting to me, and the nerve of his lawyer. She has done what my daughters attorney said and has not called my daughter again.

Thank you so much for the reminder that his lies are not going to go anywhere. He knows what he is doing. But he is staying away from my daughter. He will deny he did it to the end, just like Sandusky. People like that have so much nerve.

He knows what he is doing. He has been terrorizing his family for so long. My daughter is so strong so the support must be making a big difference for her. It is a unified no from all of us that is for sure.

She found out yesterday that she will go to court when they have a trial for him with a jury. He decided to go to trial. My daughter will go as a witness for the DA. She will get to testify on her own behalf. She has been through so much. She is very strong and doing so much for herself and the girls. I am happy for her that she will get to have her say.

She is not afraid of going to court. I would be a nervous wreck. She is doing so well. I am so proud of her. She has been through so much.
.
Thank you anni for your positive encouragement and sharing your experience with me. I cannot thank you enough.

She does not know when the court date is yet. I do not understand why he is going to trial. He must have pled not guilty and the judge said he would go to trial. This scares me. My daughter is so much braver than I am. I think it is good that she gets to defend herself at his trial. I hope and pray that his lies do not succeed. The DA will prosecute. I hope they prove her in the right and do not believe his lies.

He is such a sleazeball. I hate him. He has no conscience. All he cares about is getting his guns back. I so hope and pray that justice will be done and he will be convicted of a felony and go to jail even if it is only for a few months. He will lose his guns and his job and he will be dishonorably discharged from the reserves. That would be justice. I am so afraid he is going to snap. But I have to keep on reminding myself that he is respecting the stay away order and he is not bothering her and his attorney is no longer bothering her.

He does not ask for visitation with the girls in the divorce papers. He says he wants the house but he is not paying the mortgage. He owes three thousand dollars on it. My daughter said she thinks she has longer than six months to stay in the house.

I do not know how my daughter can be so strong. She is very angry at him and mabe that is what is doing it. I am just scared of him. But actions speak louder than words. He is leaving her alone. He still has his job and his freedom. I so hope he goes to jail. He needs to lose everything for what he has done.

Thank you for being so positive about justice being done. I find it very helpful and comforting. I hope he goes to jail for what he has done. He is a bully that beats women and terrorizes his family. He is a control freak. He does not act out on the police or the judge.

I have to be positive and dare to believe. Hugs to you dear anni.

 

[anni]

Oh well thank YOU. I was actually thinking about this, this morning, WAS I coming to your thread and 'Blah Blah Blahing' tooooo much? I know from experience it can get onerous, if not annoying. I mean, I never became annoyed but could see if too much input on your own thread would get at least WIERD for you, right? Hee, I'm used to Deb, who will absolutely tell me if that were the case. Nicely of course, but the thing is, is these threads are for THAT person's personal thoughts and feelings, not for someone else to Blah Blah Blah all over. Also, ever read some threads where folks imagine others don't know perfectly well how to tie their own shoes, so proceed to explain from A to Z? Wowza. I realize the intent is good, but it is a kind of a snore. :)

You make me laugh every, single time the word ' Horriblize' comes up, my new favorite word, it's perfect!!

Hmm, so he's chosen to go to trial? I can ONLY go by what my own experience was but was always, always told to avoid this at ALL costs because judges hate that. I had every, single one of my attornys tell me that judges REALLY, really expect people to work things out without a trial because trials use up so much of the already strained resources in the judicial systems. The party which insists on the trial is handicapping themselves terribly, apparently. I can certainly see where his scumbucket, bottom-feeder of a lawyer would feel it to be a FINE idea to go to trial. Do you know how many hours of pre-trial preparation he's going to be charged for, plus of course every second that attorney is doing one scrap of anything remotely attached to his case, including putting her underwear on that morning. The more contention she can whip up, the less likely it is he will back out of trial, PLUS, for every issue she can get him to argue about, there's another bazillion hours she can charge for, in and out of court. Heck, she can charge him for the librarian who walked across the room to get the book containing some item she requires for pre-trial preparation. They DO that. He's going to get charged for her Post-It's, under the heading of 'Trial Preparation', the big goon.

Meanwhile, he won't pay for the wife he mangled to live? Nice. Well, I'm guessing those supportive parents of his won't be very supportive as they pay off a decade or so worth of loans for legal bills, no fear. My ex? Ran up 50K in legal bills ( I think various lawyers thought that because he was a surgeon, he'd obviously play fair...), then when he skipped out on them, I had bill collectors calling ME, hysterical! They were sorry they did, too, some GREAT phone calls worthy of being recorded, wish I had! AND I do wish this Nose-Bleed of a sorry excuse for a male of the species would like to explain to anyone how on earth he thinks there will be a house left to get, since he refuses to pay the mortgage. It's an awfully good thing none of your grandchildren do have this DNA, since there does not appear to be any rocket scientist genetic material tooling around inside those microscopic tighty-whities.

Your daughter does ( truly ) sound like she has an amazing head on her shoulders, gosh Gizmo. Take everything I did WRONG 20 years ago, she is in the process of not only doing correctly but is staying on top of the tidal wave of responsibilty and stress. I was mad also, but I still could not get past the fear and function at ALL. She's channeling whatever she may have right back into action along with the 'mad', impressive, wowza! It would probably be silly not to be afraid of this kookoobean, he's structured himself and the situation so that all the females are scared of him. ( There's a MAN, very impressive. They'll point this out to him in prison, right before they make him eat his flipflops and assign him as a girlfriend to a 300 pound weightlifter named Slash.)

He's kind of controlled at the moment by that snake-oil salesman of a lawyer of his, I'd have to think, though. Talk about a poisonous relationship. She's done this a bazillion times before, validated kooks and their abuses in order to keep the money train rolling but will no doubt keep him in check, be sure, to draw the very last penny from the client. Guns back? I have no crystal ball, but boy, it's incredibly unlikely with charges pending. After he's convicted? Oi, nope. Yes, we've ALL seen courts do incredibly bizarre things, I've personally been the victim of a FEW which could have gotten me killed. The thing is, your case seems to be getting handled extremely well, it does not appear to me to be a system where no one cares, you know? It sounds like behind closed doors there's a ton of conversation going on, so good reason to HOPE, you're not just fooling yourself.

Hee, I'll shush any time, please know. It's just nice to see a. Family behaving like FAMILY and b. The process so far doing what it's intended to do, albeit taking chunks out of you terribly. None of us here are what we could call 'experts', I think there's a lot of us who have just 'been there', with an awful lot of different stories, you know? If it's at all helpful to hear one of them, I'll Blah until someone tells me not to....:p

DO make sure you all take care of yourselves, hope there's some way to give yourself some break or treat or kindness. It's a ton-load LOT, creeps up on you, how much it takes out of you especially on top of the load you already were balancing daily. Even a cup of tea with way too much honey is 'something', a little treat in the day. Whatever works.

(((((((XXOO)))))))) There's no tea and honey emoticon, I looked.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

((((((anni))))))

I got a letter from the DA for my daughter yesterday. In it was a buisiness card for a victim advocate. I will ask my daughter to call her, we can use all of the help we can get. Their office is trying to get ahold of her. She will testify against him

I cannot believe he wants a trial. Yes he has me scared. You are probably right, that his attorney is forcing him to behave.

If he gets convicted I wonder if they will cuff him and take him straight to jail??

I sure hope so. He needs to have some real time consequences. She if fighting him back and he is not used to it. He broke her down so badly. She said that she would often agree with him even if he was in the wrong just to get him to stop fighting.

I do not know if his parents are helping him. They probably are. He is their golden boy. He is paying for his brothers student loans.

If he gets convicted he will lose his job and get dishonorably discharged. He will not have anything.

He had it all and he threw it all away by his bad actions. Well this is a huge wake up call for him. I so want him in jail. He will lose everything.

You are so right on about his attorney. She is probably overcharging him. I wonder what dirty tricks he will use in court.

They will try to destroy my daughter. But she is very strong and fully understands how the judges like it. I did not know that judges do not like jury trials.

I am doing better today than I was doing yesterday. I had a really bad day yesterday thinking about all that is going on. This is such a nightmare.

My daughter is blooming and so are the girls. I am so happy to see this one.

Today I am going over to my daughters house for a visit. I sure enjoy the break I get from my husband, He is not doing so well today.

I am so very proud of my daughter. She has so much weight on her shoulders and she is carrying it well.

I have never been through a situation like this before. If it was me going through this I would be a basket case because I am so afraid of the guy. And you are so right about him.

That is exactly what he wants. He wants to break my daughters spirit down and get out of this.

Hugs to you anni. Keep on writing, you are keeping me going and making me laugh.

 

[Bodacious]

Update in my previous post about that man I was married to that I have two children with and have been fighting to get them back. Well I spent Friday night in jail because he said I owe him child support from March 2010. When actually I was granted alimony and waived it in exchange for him to waive child support. However, Child Support is done in District Court while Alimony is done in Circuit Court. So the order on no child support and no alimony is in Circuit court and apparently even though circuit court is a higher court I have to go to court in District and prove that the charges for Flagrant Non-Support is not accurate.

 

[Bodacious]

Oh and tell your daughter, Gizmo, that I am proud of her for keeping her foot down. She can and will do so much better than that coward. Tell her to stay mentally strong and educate herself on how she is better and can do better for herself and children without a man. One day a really great man that DESERVES HER and the children will find them.

 

[anni]

Bodacious, nooooooo, I am SOOO sorry, whoa! Please keep some kind of link here, ok? I'm personally SO flaky at the moment, kind of dash in here to the forum and hit 'n run post, but boy, I need to come more often. It's kind of my own lifeline to sanity at the moment, long story. PTSD is one of those things which is just a pain to 'splain to anyone, coming here where everyone has the same furniture in their heads is like breathing air when you've been under water. You really will find a TON here, sometimes just plain, old comfort in company. Wierdly, that's sometimes 'enough', even if you're drowning the keyboard with tears. I've never, ever been able to pin-point exactly why this forum is SO helpful across the board, it just is. If it's not too intrusive, much hugs. (((((((MORE!))))))) Please do take care, we're here, for real.

I'm ditching some work to be on the forum a little this morning, what a bad-*ss, huh? Hee. Nice image, a rheumatic, weedy, dyed-blond, non-drinking, 55 year bad-*ss. Oh well, a girl can dream. I do miss tequila, a good drink would result in a VERY fast trip to the ER and a shot in my scrawny maximus.

I'm a little impressed the DA sent that card, which probably means that group definitly should be contacted. Nice! And probably also? I know mine was 'cuffed and taken from court, although possibly there's some wierd thing where sentencing would come later? I'd have to doubt it, I'm thinking he'd have to be taken to jail, possibly get out until sentencing if the family feels like ponying up a bond? If they take a surgeon out of there wearing hardwear, I'm thinking they do no favors anywhere.

Gizmo, they ALL whine, because none of them EVER have done anything. Nope. Mine? I was terrified ( I was always terrified, he was SO bizarrely unpredictable, one day this genial, nice guy and meant it. I knew him very, very well. The next? He had a real, live ELEPHANT gun, and the police would find it in his car, the same day he'd leave funeral lilies at my door. ) when he got out of jail one time. He called me, and my attorney at that point was recommending I answer the calls. Well I did, and do you KNOW what he was enraged about?? Not that I'd sent him there in the first place, noooooo. I was berated and screamed at because the morning COFFEE was so bad in jail, hahahahahahaha! I'm sorry, but that was hysterical, still is to me.

And yes, well he can want what he wants ALL he wants, but that means exactly nothing. He's probably like he is partly because someone in his life let him know he's entitled to every, single thing he's ever thrown a tantrum over since the day he was born. I think you'll see an awful lot of people in jail who have had 'NO' said to them for the first time ever, ever in their lives. Some with awfully poor characters do not take it well, hence jail.

No, I know what you mean. When I had one of these kooks in my life, I had empty soda can alarms built on my windows ( the cat tends to knock them over, giving you a SERIOUS heart issue, do not recommend! :) ), slept with a pistol until Dad took it away ( worried I'd use it and I would have... ), had mace, pepper spray, a bat ( several ) assorted pointed, sharp items.... I was a WRECK, but a dangerous one because alllll my days were bad ones. It's what happens when your head gets stuck in this stuff. Yours really is under someone's thumb, from the sounds of it, although I know it's tough to tell your head that. Just try to remember he's probably one of THOSE men. Pretty sure there's a baggy spot in his pants where something else should be, and he got beaten up in the locker room an awful lot in high school. Those advertisements for Low-T meds on TV at the moment? He's copying down the link, ordering himself some of that stuff, hoping it'll help him grow a pair. Pushing around women and children, everyone knows what HIS teeny, tiny problem would be. :D

Sorry. :) I get awfully tired of these bullies, deflates them somewhat to speculate.... . That's all an abuser is anyway, a big, fat garden-variety bully. Just because they have fists or guns or whatever doesn't mean they're any different than that play-ground bully, they're just wearing larger socks, unfortunately the same underwear as he had in 6th grade. We have a couple bullies here at the moment, scary on the outside but gee whiz, if they're so big and bad what on EARTH are they doing pushing old people and females around?

(((((((Gizmo))))) I hope you had/have a nice visit with your daughter, maybe some giggles, huh? Don't let these people rob your whole life from you, if you can manage it. Easy for me to say, I know.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Bodacious, thank you so much for your kind and encouragement. I will tell her how proud you are of her.

I am sorry for what you have been put through. Keep safe and strong. You are doing the right thing. It is important to keep fighting.

My daughter is so fed up with him. She will testify for the DA and call the victim advocate. She is willing to get all of the help she can.

Her ex quit his job so he did not have to pay child support. She has to go back to court for that. The DA of that case is going after him. He is piling up arrears for himself. I hope it goes well and he has to pay her child support again. It would really help her out with her finances. She is going to welfare and asking for emergency assistance. She is going to fight her husband everysteip of the way. Hugs to you for your support. It is keeping me going.

anni, thank you so much for your support. It means so much to me. It cheers me up. She will call the DA today and the victim advocate. She will get help in preparing for court.

All he wants is to get away with it and to get his guns back. My daughter seems to think that they will put an ankle bracelot on him and order him to house arrest. Mabe that would be better because there would be oversight of him and he will be monitered.

This way he will be able to keep his job and pay for the things he surely must.

He is a big bully and he cannot face up to what he is done. He is gaslighting. I do not know what his lawyer will throw at her. I am nervous about a jury. I hope the facts speak for themselves. I hope the jury has common sense.

I do not know when the court date will be. My daughter has alot of documentation she has to gather for her job. She has alot of running around to do this week. She longs for a day when she can just veg.

I went over to her house yesterday and had an awesome visit. My husband was having all sorts of horrible delusions But he held his own and did fine staying home by himself. We played the card time war and that was fun. I got good hugs. My daughter has so had it with him. She is not afraid of him. She is very couragous and brave. She said she deserves better.

I asked her if the support was helping and she said she could not be doing the things she is doing without the support.

It is so good to see her, she is blooming.

When it comes to the divorce they will probably be court ordered to mediation to split the property. She will not have to see him because of the restraining order. They will take them one at a time. I have a feeling that the divorce will be ugly.

I do not know if his parents are helping him out financially. He has a job and a bank account and my daughter does not know what kind of money he has saved.

But the process is expensive and he has to pay for that. Good.

My daughter is so happy to have a lawyer filing all of the paperwork for her. She is so relieved about that.

I do not have much to say about what is going on. It is the suspense of waiting. I am waiting for her to call me. I have her calling me every morning. Hugs to you anni.

 

[anni]

Hugs back, Gizmo, my dear. :) It's a pretty silly life when we all come here, read about our the kooks rampaging around the edge's of our friends' lives and we STILL feel like this place is the cozy haven, out here the place filled with shadows. My Mom always used to say, when I was in the middle of the dreck, that ' The facts are always friendly ', which I did NOT understand at the time. Of course I didn't, if there was a pothole in the road I'd have to fight the impulse to go crawl into it, anything to hide or get away. It does mean exactly what your daughter is doing and what you'd like, which is to have facts plus look them in the face. That Sleezebucket would love to feel he's on top of the situation, hence all the bluster but BOY has it slipped out of his grasp. Every time it looks like he might have some kind of foothold, WHOOSH, someone whisks it out from underneath him. He can SAY what he wants with frequency, as in every moment of every day and might possibly figure out that this doesn't mean it magically transpires, hee! He MUST have been mindlessly supported by someone in the past when he behaved poorly, I'd have to guess those parents, or he would not have this misapprehension that gravity happens when the solar system revolves around him. Words are just words. I can say I'm Supergirl, it doesn't mean I am and all it'll get me is a worried therapist.

You and that astonishing daughter of yours just keep cutting him down to size. I know you 'think' you have little to do with the day to day dynamics of what is going on, but I'll bet if someone asked your daughter, she'd say you're her biggest support, inspiration and strength. I also do not know how she's doing it except that she quite obviously has this incredible center which you just cannot shake! Honestly, I realize with PTSD we have a terrible time accepting compliments but where on earth would she have gotten such a solid core without having been raised in some terrific way? Yes, these are her acheivements, she's amazing, and also yours because women like her do not grow in a test tube or a vacuum.

An ankle bracelet? But they're so ugly, think he'd let someone bedazzle it for him, make it less of an eye sore?

 

[Deleted member 12723]

((((((((anni)))))))))

Well she got in touch with the DA. His arraignment is on the third of April. The DA seems to think he will go for a plea deal where he pleads guilty and gets probration. If he chooses to go to trial it will be seven months away. So much for a speedy trial. His lawyer made a request for him to and get the rest of his stuff. She said no because of all the ammunition he has in the garage. The police will not come and pick it up. She seems to think she would have to rent a u haul to get it all out of the garage.

The DA will file a criminal protective order against him if he decides to plead guilty to stay out of jail. But I do not know how the liar thinks so I do not know what to do. His lawyer made another request for her to drop the restraining order. She is all fired up and insists on the restraining order.

And she is so busy gathering documentation for the background check for her job. She is sending her attorney e mails instead of driving back and forth. She sure loves having such a good attorney.

And he is respecting the order. It is funny, that the control freak ask to ask for what he wants instead of terrorizing to get it.

My daughters girls were fighting and my daughter had a family meeting to work out their issues. The older girl got scared and started crying because she thought that she would get yelled at and in big trouble. So the bastard left his effects of his terrorizing them. The girls worked out their issues.

My daughter said she would pack up the rest of his clothes and stuff and put it out on the curb. She does not want to have him come into the house. I hope it works out that way. He has a junk car he was in the process of restoring and I do not see him getting that out of their.

It sure would be a great thing if he plea deals. That way he could keep his job and pay her spousal support.

She has put her foot down and said never again. She is pretty burned out on guys. She does not want her girls growing up thinking to be treated that way is normal. I am so very proud of her.

The suspense is killing me. I do not know if he will plead guilty. It just depends. His lawyer has kept him away so he cannot terrorize them. He does not want to go back to jail.

My husband is starting to smoke occasionally. I guess it is too hard to stay quit while I am smoking. I will try to quit again once this ordeal is all over. The stress of it gets to me. I have my daughter calling me every morning to know that they are ok. She is being very good about that. She is not sleeping to good.

She said she would not be doing this if she did not have the support she does. What a huge change in her. She is really angry at him and how he has treated her and the girls. She said it was meant to be. She said she was his slave.

I do not know how this will all turn out, but I sure hope he pleads guilty. He wants his guns back so bad so I do not know if he will listen to his attorney.

I guess it would be better if he gets to keep his job. Her attorney will help her with the divorce too. I am so grateful for that.

I think he has dug a big hole for himself with his lying. The evidence speaks against him. If it goes to trial I do not know how much jail time he would get.

The DA did say they will call my daughter and tell her how it turned out. I do not know how much money he has and if he can even afford to go to trial. Like you said anni, his attorney is going to be charging him so much money.

He lied on his taxes and my daughter got in touch with the IRS and they said they would investigate so he has to deal with that one too.

I had a wonderful time at my daughters house, and we played a game of cards which was fun. It is so wonderful to have my daughter back and she is talking to me. I had a very long phone conversation with her yesterday. I just love what is happening with her. It is so good to have my daughter back. I get my family back. Hugs to you dear anni.

 

[anni]

Hahahaha! I am only laughing on the IRS thing, now he's REALLY sunk his own ship, wowza Gizmo! Mine finally had to flee because the IRS was firmly latched onto his spinal cord. He apparently hadn't paid in YEARSSS despite telling me that yep, his accountant had taken care of everything. You see, he was considered self-employed, a trauma surgeon in an ER set-up. He did at one point file taxes throwing ME under the bus, that was fun, he forged my name. I could tell of course it was forged, plus he claimed we owned a d*m horse farm. Yea. It was up to ME to go get an expert to show it was forged, even though the IRS had the technology. A woman agent finally came to my house, perfectly pleasant. I was too terrified to tell her the truth, which was that I hadn't filed mine that year out of sheer terror. He'd told me if I did he'd ( of course ) kill me and the horse I rode in on. She offered to do them for me, too-I couldn't get past the fear, he was pretty willing to carry out his part. She'd been sent to my house to see if I was HIDING him, whoa! She said yep, some women DO that, hide these frootloops. She was convinced when she couldn't take her coat off. I offered to turn the heat up for her, you see, but it was always off in the winter when the kids were in school during the day, to save money.

That's a page in the tome, ' Why I Have PTSD ', it's a long book, pretty similar to a few others around here.

Maybe your daughter could call the local gun club, ask them to come dispose of the ammunition? Those folks tend to be uber-safe, uber-knowledgable and truly love being able to educate the community on gun safety and control things. I'd have to bet they'd be more than happy to help, especially if she comes in person to see them. They REALLY detest having guns in the hands of violent, irresponsible people. Plus, will probably thank her for doing the right thing.

I'm thinking again that you're fortunate on more than the legal side of things that this dittz is NOT genetically connected to you folks, you'd be walking grandchildren to 3rd grade when they were shaving, poor things. Wow not a rocket scientist, so sorry your daughter had to put up not only with the abuse but in a marraige where she had to tie his shoes every morning. Must have been awful for her, huh, plus having to read the newspaper out load to him, what a drag!

I've been trying to not be snotty about people on the grounds that just because you're good at it doesn't mean you should haul off and do it. He kind of deserves a shot in the maximus, allowed my sleeping snotbag to surface.

It's genuinely, truly lovely to read ' I get my family back '. You never really lost it but I know what you mean. You got the Love back all to yourselves. The rest will follow, crowded out by all that Love, to be sure. I hope your daughter saying what she did about her support makes you kind of glow inside. She's talking about her mother. If that were me, I'd be bumping my head off the ceiling,dodging the ceiling fan and introducing myself to spiders up there, it'd make me float around for a week or so. Sometimes the kids don't know it, they say something nice about you, makes your whole life worthwhile, doesn't it? For real.

Hugs, if I can find a ladder, reach up that far! :hug:

 

[Deleted member 12723]

(((((((anni)))))))
It is funny that he will have to deal with the IRS too. He never filed a a joint account. He never claimed he was married but he claimed them as dependents. He called her his domestic partner. All of his chickens coming home to roost.

I am so grieved over the terror and horror you went through with your ex. I am so happy for you that he is dead and will never trouble you again. You speak from alot of experiences. My heart goes out to you for what you went through.

That was a good idea about calling a gun club. You are one smart person. I will suggest that to her today when she comes over today. She wants that ammunition gone.

I do not know if he will go for the plea deal. He wants his guns back. There is so much evidence against him. And he would not go to trial for seven months. So much for a speedy trial. But the good part is he would go without his guns for that long and they will be divorced by then.

I am so glad they did not have any children together. He would really have caused her worlds of grief not to mention tearing the children apart. I am so very grateful for this. They have no reason to see each other ever again.

Their house is so tension free now. They are all doing so well. They need to heal. My daughter was with him for seven years. She was married for four. He got bad after they got married. What a jerk and a moron. I hope that he takes the plea deal but I do not think he will. It will get really expensive for him with his attorney if he goes to trial. I hate the suspense and the waiting.

My daughter said she would call me as soon as she hears from the DA.

anni it did make me glow when my daughter said she would not be doing this without the support. I am so happy to be able to talk to her about anything again. It was awful how brainwashed she was. Her self esteem is improving. Once she gets the job, I believe she will really be doing so much better.

She is so organized and doing mountains of paperwork, e mails etc. One night she had to make one hundred copies of paperwork to send off. She is so lucky that she can email her attorney with information. She does not have to drive a long distance back and forth.

I hate the suspense and the waiting. Some days are better than others. I hate his attorney. She keeps asking my daughter to drop the restraining order. No way is my daughter going to do that.

He dug his own holes and now he can fall into them. He is afraid of the police, jail, and the courts. I just hate him so much. He sure does not want the restraining order against him.

Ir is so hard to wait. Brother it will be hell if he chooses to go to trial. I guess I will learn to accept the waiting and the suspense.
I try not to think about it but some days are the pits. He is so stupid and yet sneaky and underhanded. I do not know what he will request next.

He has a junk car in the garage that he needs to get rid of that does not have any tires on it. He was going to restore the car but took it apart and gave up on it. He told me that he needed money to restore it. I think he bit off more than he could chew. If our luck holds out mabe this court stuff will go the same way. He did it to himself and lied.

Thanks anni for listening to me and responding. Your support and wise words keep me going.

Mucho hugs with tons of gratitude.