Hi, I wanted to reach out because I've experienced gaslighting in a relationship. Unfortunately, it was from my mother and not a lover so for years her voice was in my head condemning me to the point I could barely function. When I was younger I didn't know what gaslighting was and honestly played along like a fool to whatever she said to me or about me. I was watching Tangled, the cartoon by Disney, and as I watched it with my own daughters I began to see myself and my mother. It was devastating to me and eye opening. I realized these things must happed to a lot of people or they could not make a film about it. All the therapy couldn't help until I realized I was not the problem. Obviously, from what I've read from your post you may not have reacted in the best ways to the situations you have been put in, but I'm here to tell you that you can start again. I once lived my life on a wheel of emotions. I doubted myself, blamed myself, was angry with myself (and others), believed they would always get away with it and I would always suffer for it. But after years of self doubt and self abuse I found a Christian counselor that introduced me to the book, Boundaries by Dr. Cloud and Dr. Townsend. I'm not trying to push Christianity on you, I'm simply sharing what broke the cycle of confusion for me. I had lived my life without proper boundaries. In fact I had been taught to have boundaries was a bad thing - a selfish thing. In honesty though without boundaries anyone could run over me, blame me, manipulate me and abuse me. Even if they did the abuse I would take on the responsibility. I hope you will buy the book and read it . I also have a number where you can be referred to a Christian counselor (no pressure its just what finally helped me) 1-855-382-5433. Best to you and I am so sorry for the pain you are experiencing.
