My diary of random thoughts

Status
Not open for further replies.

joeylittle

Administrator
That’s the alternative when no one gives you a chance because you suck so bad and suffer from severe anxiety and depression after being manipulated and given a false hope that things will get better
So, it's everyone else at fault, because you were manipulated and lied to?
Nothing works out right for me. How the duck does that even happen??? Everything used to work out for me now nothing???? How is that even possible????
So, everything was working out when you were in that extremely dysfunctional relationship that you have acknowledged was abusive even before the incident with the gun? Everything was good, then?

Honestly, @AnnieMae - it's just straight-up offensive to watch you declare over and over that your life is permanently broken, that EVERYTHING is wrong, that NOTHING ever works out....just for you. Because you believe you are going through some kind of cosmic catastrophic level of suffering.

There's a DBT technique called 'Compare'. It's not useful for everyone - but I think you might get something out of it:

Think for a few minutes about people who have lost things that are much more difficult and much more permanent. Think about people who have to struggle much harder than you do, simply to make sure they've got clean water. What if, instead of being tricked and lied to - what if the gun had gone off, hit you, and left you without the full use of your limbs, or your organs? What if it had gone off and instead, hit someone else in the room, and that's what you were charged with?

The compare technique is a way of managing distress. It is meant to provide perspective, and it's meant to get you out of your own isolated mental loop.

Sometimes, people come to this site and really need to have their suffering validated. They need that because they are inclined to dismiss their own pain.

You don't need to have your suffering validated. It's been validated over and over on this site. What you need is to understand that you are not uniquely suffering. You aren't the only human being to have been lied to, to have been manipulated, and to have to accept the consequences even though you didn't cause them.

At this point in your journey - you are causing your own suffering. When we fight back against reality - when we struggle to reject the truth of a situation - that is the thing that causes us to feel suffering. If you can learn to accept that you were manipulated, lied to, and stuck with consequences you didn't deserve. Accept that it sucks, but it's true. That shit happened - emphasis on past tense, happened - then, what you do next? That's entirely up to you.

No, you can't wave a magic wand and have the life you dream about - that's not how anyone gets the life they want. You get it by creating it, one choice at a time.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top