• We are a multilingual website again. Read the notice about this.
  • Understand AI use at MyPTSD: all AI use is explained in our AI help page. AI use is by choice here. It exists if you want it, but does nothing unless you choose to use it.

My Flashbacks And Disassociation

Status
Not open for further replies.
Faeriefire said:
I was rescued by the police middle of July 2015 :)
Click to expand...

There's most definitely hope that your life can be infinitely better than it is now. I'm ten years away from the abuse and in some ways I am happier than I ever was. I think it's because I didn't like myself even before the abuse. Now I do.

I suffer a lot. And I'm still scared. But now I have joy, and sometimes there are even moments of peace. I have meaning and fulfillment. I have real friends I can trust.

It took years before it got better though. One of the things that I think I did that prolonged my suffering was not recognizing that my relationships were still not healthy. I didn't realize that I thought it was normal for my friends, family, or boyfriends to look down on me, or take advantage of me. I didn't even realize that is what they were doing, because I had been down so far and I was so ashamed and humiliated. So, while I was trying to learn to trust again, I was trying to learn to trust the wrong people.
 
Faeriefire said:
The only GOOD thing about my PTSD is, any guy who reminds me of my evil exes, be it in looks, person...
Click to expand...

I like your sense of humor :) Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying.

I made bad choices still in men for a long time, but never any physical abusers again. Just not as nice or kind as I deserve.

As far as good I've gotten out of my experience... I have helped two friends and two family members get out of long term abusive relationships by understanding, sharing my experiences, helping them to believe they deserved better, and then supporting them through the years each one took to get out. They weren't all as bad as mine. My sister was one. Her husband was bad too. The other family member was my step dad. My mom was emotionally abusive and I told him he was being abused. At first he didn't believe it and my mom hated me for telling him that. For inspiring him and supporting him. Eventually he left her though and later remarried and he's happy after 26 years of misery with my mom and her making him believe he deserved every bit of it.
 
LaceySA said:
I like your sense of humor :) Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying.

I made bad choices stil...
Click to expand...
The only thing that I feel that I'm able to write without getting triggered is, I was locked in a house for 1 and a half years...I didn't speak, see to ANYONE during that time. Except him.
I can't write anymore because my 'alarm bells' are ringing....Sorry
 
Faeriefire said:
The only thing that I feel that I'm able to write without getting triggered is, I was locked in a ho...
Click to expand...

I understand. I've never met anyone else with severe PTSD. My heart goes out to you. Perhaps it's best if we let the conversation alone for a while. I don't know. I know all about alarm bells and what follows though.

I wrote an introduction today about my experiences, if you want to hear about it. I didn't write any details. Just an overview.
 
LaceySA said:
I understand. I've never met anyone else with severe PTSD. My heart goes out to you. Perhaps it's best...
Click to expand...
I'm listening to 'die muthafuka die' by Dope... It's on repeat until I calm down.... I dedicate it to the evil bastards that did what they did to me :mad:
It actually helps me... The lyrics are fab... Wish I could post the link to it :meh:
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar posts

D
  • Locked
Managing my flashbacks better
2
Comments
19
Ecdysis
  • Locked
Epiphany about my core beliefs... are they in fact just C-PTSD flashbacks?
Comments
8
N
  • Locked
Hypervigilant and disassociation with social anxiety
Comments
1
419can.dance
  • Locked
Writing through my flashbacks today.
Comments
1
L
  • Locked
Where are my flashbacks?
Comments
11

Donation drives

2026 Donation Goal

Goal
$1,800.00
Earned
$910.00
This donation drive ends in
0 hours, 0 minutes, 0 seconds
  50.6%
Donate

Trending content

Featured content

Latest posts

Back
Top Bottom