Death My friend suicided last week, i'm numb & sad & all over the place

[mumstheword]

Naw--- we are tougher than that. You don't scare me in the least.



I'm sorry - - this is so very, very...

Sooo glad I'm not scary here, thanks Freida! I've copped some wide eyed frightened responses just for being a little open or even for no good reason lately and it's disappointing.

Thanks @Freida and @Sideways! You're helping.:hug:

 

[mumstheword]

Loved the poem. "Shards of ourselves was my fav. Great rhythm and pace.
And I hear you on anger and grief...

Thank you :-) @Swift :hug:

 

[mumstheword]

My friend wants to come over and I'm overwhelmed. I don't even.feel like calling her. I'm tired from going out 'til late and dancing the other night, seeing quite a few of my children; and actively parenting my young adult children because I'm well enough now. I don't know how to cope with my friend needing me so much when.I have so many children and a partner and precarious "wellness" to safeguard.
I have another son to see today, going down to the cafe again to meet him soon. I can't have people at my place because it's just not suitable. There's no space. It's a disgrace. A trauma site. A blight.

 

[NatBird]

So numb tonight.
My old friend, numbness.
I used to spend my life frozen emotionally, but moving co...

This is beautiful. I can really feel you and the expanse of your heart, courage and livity though this expression. Thank you for sharing it but mostly thank you for keeping on with your expression. You really do create a path.

I'm also sorry to hear about your loss. I'm wishing you the 'holding of space' required that allows you to go through all the emotions that will rise and fall in the process.

Apologies it took me so long to write, just checked in today. Much admiration for your journey, expression and BIG BIG HEART.

My friend wants to come over and I'm overwhelmed. I don't even.feel like calling her. I'm tired fro...

You're precious, you're wellness is too

 

[Deleted member 44579]

Hi @mumstheword I'm so sorry you lost your friend. I have never understood suicide... And never will.
I mean I understand the desperateness of it all but not the actual act. Or how much pain it causes friends and family.

Your a great friend and will help your friend when you can without over stretching yourself.. Your doing all the you can

 

[Deleted member 44579]

Your health and wellbeing are important right now... So please take the time you need to. OK.... Big hugs... Xx x

 

[mumstheword]

So lovely dear friends, to re-read your responses! @NatBird , @Xena @Freida!
Also sorry to take so long in responding.

I've been out of range of internet since Thursday and came home exhausted, last night.

Yoga weekend retreat with a bunch.of women, in a magical bush setting.

It's got me getting in touch with me, in a really healing, strengthening way:happy:.

 

[Freida]

No rush - it's not like we are going anywhere!
Happy to hear it went well!

 

[NatBird]

So lovely dear friends, to re-read your responses! @NatBird , @Xena[...

forward, nothing but forward with you, even when the string is called back, the bow seems like it might break its back, the arrow tail close to your chest, the moment is just time gathering, time listening to the spring, like a cuckoo in your chest, before going forward again.
I love that in spite of the challenges you are doing all these activities to support your well-being. I feel so much life force when I read you, eve when things are challenging there is so much life moving through and expressed through you. Thanks for sharing it and your presence.

Do you feel yoga is one of your vehicles?

Sending love, admiration and appreciation

 

[mumstheword]

Na

forward, nothing but forward with you, even when the string is called back, the b...

Natbird, Natbird, Natbird ....:hug: You totally blew me away with this stunning peice of written expression.
I do love you and your amazingly crafted words so:hug::joyful:
I've just copied your above words to share with my long-term-but-occasional Uni T. I was trying to remember this feedback and tell her about the encouragement I've been receiving, when she rang, just out of the blue, so sweet, to check up on me :happy:.
Anyway I hope that's ok with you.
Although I've been around here this past week, I'm still "all over the place". I barely made it out of bed yesterday after a shattering and rearranging T session with my new and lovely woman''s centre T.

I did make arrangement to enrol in a 6 week group therapy for women thing, for women who've experienced childhood sexual assault. Yes, no time to waste, I just need to catch my breath sometimes, when life's pace gets too heady and I'm tripping myself up with my head in a spin.
I've pulled back, a little, from the peer/bestie support, and she is doing fine, making new friends and seeing a T now. It's still SO HARD for both of us, of course, her more really, but me also, to process this last traumatic event.

I have such a HEAVY HEART for the loss of our beloved Pete

 

[Slushie]

I'm very sorry for your loss mum's the word, I'm sorry he felt like there was no hope, what a terrible thing.

 

[mumstheword]

forward, nothing but forward with you, even when the string is called back, the b...

As for do I feel yoga is one of my vehicles?
Yes, especially since learning about trauma sensitive yoga.
I was yogi kid for a time, and it's the happiest that I was, as a child.