My Girlfriend And I

[Blondie362]

I would be curious to see your thoughts. I dont know why I cant let go of her, there are so many healthy fish in the sea. Part of me enjoys the challenge I guess, proving others wrong, and of course her love because when its good its good.

Have you ever thought its you that can't deal with normal either ? that's why you are drawn in to this head game playing situation with your ex.

If you want a challenge try chinese scrabble! a human relationship should be about mutual respect not about winners and losers.

 

[Marty]

I have considered that blondie. I am trying my best to be objective as possible about both her and myself. Stepping away from emotions is proving much harder than I anticipated. I think she is much smarter than me and I fall for her shit everytime haha. I will let you know how things pan out. I keep telling myself that what she is doing is not abuse, maybe that is also a problem...I am a doormat.

 

[Sandra]

I think she is much smarter than me and I fall for her shit everytime haha.

That really isn't funny Marty. And if she knows she has you wrapped her little finger she will continue to do this.

 

[BridgeJumper]

fourteen year relationship, dont know what she sees in me, mope about alot.

 

[Sandra]

Then you have to ask yourself Marty. Is this how you really want to be treated?

 

[BridgeJumper]

its hell huh? trying to have a relationship with cptsd. lol. a funny type of hell.

 

[Sandra]

I have a feeling it will get to the point where you will get fed up with her problems and walk. If it was me I would be walking away now instead of investing too much into the relationship. And in my opinion this relationship isn't worth investing in, in any way.

 

[Marty]

Thanks again for the remarks. I am not with her but I have been stringing her along and she is fed up. I am so stressed from bouncing back and forth if it is worth going back and trying. Its like I am in stuck mode- too scared to go back and try, too scared to walk away, too scared of anything...so confused. All of my friends say its not healthy and they want to see me happy. I just wonder if it is worth one more try, something I keep using to put a bandaid on it. I just feel like she is so great in all these ways and I guess I have never had a close woman since my mom that it is hard to walk. I know I am repeating myself- for sure I have indecisiveness issues. I am also so forgiving of every episode when many other people would have left a long time ago, or so they say. (probably that she is cute, sweet, and smart keeps me) My questions is, knowing she has a great heart although jealousy and possible control issues even though she says its not control- is it worth going back with her on the condition that she gets counseling? i really feel like we could have a great life if certain things changed....then there is the whole - you cant change people thing. Is it normal to be so damn confused!

 

[Sandra]

Well counseling is good but it isn't a quick fix. Even if she does get it that may take her years to get over her issues.

 

[Marty]

I think some of them are also opinions as well- she wants her man to not think of other women, look at other women, and only lust after her. I mean it does make sense, they are just very high standards and they seem almost unnatural. They can be called controlling but I dont know, maybe in a way they create true love and devotion.

 

[Sandra]

It sure sounds like you like to defend her bad behaviours. And that in my opinion is a disaster waiting to happen.

 

[Marty]

Everyone says that Sandra. I just cant imagine walking away from her and not having her my girlfriend. I dont know what it is. Is is my heart and true love? Part of me feels like I am giving up on hope that the human condition can get better. Giving up on her. But at the same time enabling her beliefs and behavior. It has always been me that needs to change to be acceptable, its true. I am like a teeter totter back and forth constantly.