My Girlfriend And I

[Sandra]

In my opinion I don't think you are ready for any relationship with anyone. YOU need to fix YOU first then hopefully you will be ready for one.

 

[Blondie362]

As a woman who suffers with ptsd ,and I'm sure one of many that are reading your posts Marty, I haven't read one post yet from anybody defending the actions of your girlfriend and telling you to give it another go...

That and thats because many of us are able to see RED ALERT flashing all over your thread.

Let me break it down from some of the basics you have written :

You want to go back- but you don't want her controlling you ..
You love her and she is "sweet and a good heart" - but she is posting crazy shit on face book about you for all to read?.
You say you aren't a doormat - yet you can't have female friends?...
You say she has jealousy issues - yet you like a challenge?
You say she is childish - yet you say you have been stringing her along ?
You say you are confused - yet your posts indicate all you want is to get back with her with conditions attached.

Definitely screams dysfunctional relationship to me, maybe you too should get your house in order too Marty.

 

[Marty]

Thanks Blondie and Sandra. I really appreciate your help. I am more than willing to admit I have some issues as far as why i am staying or want to stay. But I would say I am a pretty good guy who settles conflicts in a warm understanding way. I think it is safe to say I undervalue myself and want to be the hero. I am too forgiving and I have not put my foot down in terms of what I will tolerate. It is very interesting that no one has defended any of her behavior except for me who is on the receiving end. I did read in a good book called His Needs Her Needs that it is optimal if all sexual energy is given towards the loved one and that got me thinking maybe my ex is right and knows whats up. However, to never fantasize, look, and all that control stuff is yes, a red flag. I think it is safe to say that relationships cannot be based on jealousy and control no matter how passionate and good they can be at times. It is very hard to let go because she has become like a best friend to me, someone I have shared everything with. Others were just always a threat....that is why we were much better together on small trips and in isolation as she had me all to herself. I think Sandra and Blondie are right, I have to do some work on myself for awhile. It will be an extremely hard loss to mourn, one that still feels so impossible that I cannot imagine life without her. Probably because I lost a sense of self.

 

[mamachick]

Hey "brat"can you please tell me how it made you sick? I am on a 2 week break from her and I am going crazy. It was my decision to take the break and she is putting things on facebook that are driving me nuts. I know its my fault for checking and getting emotional like a kid about it but I am.
First of all she put a poll asking what everyone thinks about me taking a break. Eveyrone was like "ditch the loser" because they dont know anything and there were like 88 comments. She "liked" all of the ones that bash on me and this is pretty infuriating.

I am so sorry I just saw this post and your question. These kind of people are what I call "crazy makers". You not only are off balance and start loosing yourself in the drama, but it can have harmful physical effects. Gastrointestinal-diagnosis of IBS, headaches, I carry tension in my neck and shoulders which develops to fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, sleep problems. I have pretty much all of the physical stuff that first began with this kind of abuse.

If you dont take good care of yourself, the world has a way of making you stop and think when the physical stuff is bad enough-hope you never get to that. Wishing you well

 

[mamachick]

sorry that did not post right-oops

 

[Marie E.]

Happens to the best of us (((Brat)))

 

[conz]

Hi.. I'm reading this posting. I learned lots of things though. My ex fiance has PTSD and he cool off our wedding. I still love him and I'm trying to fix it but I guess its not really working.