My Husband Left Me

[Neverthesame]

Because the cat thing is a petty little f*ck you, to add insult to injury.

Like what he did wasn't enough.

You owe him nothing.

Once again, so sorry this is happening.

 

[Heather]

I'm sorry you are going through this. I'd be pissed about the cat comment too. Plain and simple, that's an asshole thing to say.

I don't have the words to make your situation better but I feel for you.
I pray things work out.

Hugs.

Heather

 

[Tinyflame]

Oh @Fadeaway I am so very sorry. :(

 

[Kailani]

In the front of local phone books are crisis and support lines and important numbers. One call could direct you to resources ...and tell him if he wants his cat to stay well he has to figure out the cats future cuz he left you with nothing to help the cat. Churches and women's shelters may be able to direct and help you and also your therapist and a social worker at the hospital you have recently gone to may be beneficial. Police may know also and be able to direct you. He must be breaking laws doing what he did never mind breaking our hearts for you!!!! You might be able to rent a room or post something on Craig's list; will clean or work cooking...in house for room or child or elder care. Soooooooooo sorry Fadeaway. Prayers and hugs if you accept!!! Hope you can think of someone for this emergent situation!!!!! Sorry If I am repeating what others have said just trying to think of options!

 

[Neverthesame]

I thought of something else, should you get your ssdi cheque into your account. If you aren't able to open a new account of your own because of your missing ID. make sure he can't have access to the money. He may very well rob you again.

Hope you are able to get some rest tonight.

 

[Casey_03]

I'm a bit late to this thread, but f*ck. One step at a time, that's all you can do. First thing's first -- can you borrow money from anyone to cover rent and food? It'll be easier to think clearly if you get at least that sorted out. Maybe someone can loan you the amount of your SSD for now until you can arrange for someone else to be able to cash it? I'd offer to crowd fund you money on here but if you have no ID, i don't know how you'd get it. So seems like borrowing cash from someone is the only option ...

 

[Neverthesame]

@Casey_03 I'd had the same thought with something like the crowd funding.

The ID issue is problematic for that. Still wracking my brain here.

 

[Casey_03]

@Fadeaway If you have PayPal, I think we can all crowd fund for you and you shouldn't need an ID. I think with PayPal you can get the funds straight into your account

 

[Sammyiam]

Fade,
I have just seen this and am in shock. I have no idea about laws over there but you need to stop him getting any money out of your joint or your bank accounts. First thing to do is ring your bank and tell them what has happened and see what they can do for you.
Second change the locks on your flat, there should be someone in charge of your apartment building. Tell them you need your locks changed, then when he comes back he carnt just empty everything in the apartment and leave you with nothing. Next can you get hold of your Aunty that you have just been in contact with, you need to ring her as she is the only family you have. Maybe she might take you in for a bit. Go the the hospital and tell them what has happened, they will get you some emergency meds for you. Next ring a women's shelter or a church in your area and ask them for anything they can help you with. We have what they call citizen advise you can ring for free and they have all the contacts for different agency's. You will have something similar over there. You need to look after you first. If you change the locks he has to make contact with you to get your stuff, not just sneak in with out you knowing.
Fade I feel like jumping on a plane to come and help you out. I will PM you

Sammy

 

[Deleted member 28740]

I called 211 where I live. Phone hours start at 8AM, nationwide. You can access the crisis line anytime 24/7. Give them your zip code and they can find any and all resources to help you. Most states have free legal aid, and resources for many of the issues you face. They can help prioritize all you should do to protect yourself. Make a list before you call so that you can request all aspects of your situation.

Tell them everything you need.
1. Access to meds (if requires transportation)
2. Birth Certificate replace to regain control of your SS payments, State ID, etc.
3. Redirecting SS payments
4. Request rent abatement due to circumstances, or assistance contacting Landlord. Who's name is on the lease as responsible party?
Door lock issue? One legal, and two how to pay for. Can landlord help with that?
5. Banking
6. Mail
7. Legal re bank and abandonment. Don't like the email contact with him. Get an intermediary.

@Fadeaway Birth Certificate replacement. Is that already being processed? That can also be done on line. Perhaps someone here you trust could help that with a payment for the processing. (not sure if third party could be involved, if just for payment I think they should be able to keep the process private to you) PM Sammyiam. I would help, but am broke my self.

"Wait times for birth certificate applications are approximately ten days to a couple of weeks, depending upon how the application was received: in person, via mail, or online. Online processing with debit or credit cards generally speeds up the process."

**!! Other concern I have is your mail situation. Does he have access to your mail? Do a redirect with the Post Office first thing, or is a postal box, remove joint access, or request lock change, or a new box just for you. Even a neighbor might help, church group. Sounds like you have transportation issues. Ask 211 about help with that.

With a little help from your friends.

 

[hodge]

O.M.G., Fadeaway! I am so sorry. Please call a crisis center. As someone said, it should be in the front cover of your phone book. If you're running out of food, they should be able to get you to a food distribution center, most likely at a church, but not always. And yes, the ER to get your meds. Call your therapist, too. You need all the support you can get. I wish I could send you a big check. I think everyone else here has given good advice on all kinds of fronts. Your county should have a family support or mental health program. They can send a social worker to your house to help you get all this done.

 

[Sideways]

Definitely crisis centre - preferably a womens one. DV victims often have to escape the home without anything - wallet, money, ID - so they will know how to handle the next steps.