My Introduction...

[Dizzydays]

I am physically 52 years old, a female and a survivor of longterm abuse during my childhood. I honestly do not know who I am. I can't even elaborate on that statement because I feel scattered, like a huge empty space with fragments swirling around too quickly to be of any consequence.

I have typed for 20 minutes here and deleted all of it because I have no idea what is true about me and what isn't and I don't want to say something now that may be disproven later. Trying to desribe myself or my situation with any accuracy is making me very upset because I don't know what to say so this is the conclusion of my introduction.

 

[Gamereign555]

You have taken a big step just to post, don't feel bad about it. It is hard to sum up ourselves really. Just know that we are all here for you as much as we can be. If you feel inspired to write more I will be glad to read. In the meantime take it easy on yourself, I find reading the 'Accomplishments and Success' threads are a great way to feel better and have hope. Take some time if you haven't already to check out all the site has to offer. Some like the chat and get to know others here, some want to read or post. You are very welcome here.

 

[Dizzydays]

Thank you for the welcoming. I will read for a while:)

 

[broken_one]

Dizzy, you've found a good place. i've only been here a week, but already I take comfort in knowing I'm not alone. And that's a huge help to me right now.

I can relate to feeling scattered. I am a complete basket case.

 

[atl22]

Welcome to the Forum, Dizzydays.

Please don't feel pressured to write too much too fast. Take your time and share when you feel comfortable. There are many resources here and good people that understand and want to help.

 

[Dizzydays]

I think the main obstacle for me is revealing what is really so about me. I go to great lengths to hide the inner turmoil from the people in my life and to deliberately reveal it here seems very contradictory to what is known to be safe. I've arrived at a point now where I am so tired though. At the same time, I am overwhelmed with the feeling of not knowing what is so about me. It's a mess.

 

[broken_one]

Dizzy, I think the difference here is that we've all suffered from a trauma. And from what I've learned from my T, that is something that has happened within our brain. So even though our traumas are different, the results are very similar for all of us. So we understand each other where "normal" people could not.

Take your time. Read our stories. I'm sure you will find things you can relate too and that helps with some of the crazy feelings believe me. Things I thought were crazy me, are really PTSD. So I am trying to learn to say (at my T's urging) "that's not me, that's the PTSD" or "that's not me, that the severe depression" etc. It does help to separate.

I hope I'm making any sense. :confused:

 

[Froggie]

Welcome to the forum Dizzydays,

Well the above members summed everything pretty well. It is so important to take one's time and here there is no pressure, no judgement, but lots of support from one another.

 

[sbump]

Welcome

 

[CraftyCath]

Welcome Dizzydays. Others have already said so much. I'm so sorry for your pain. Your confusion is 'normal' given what you have been through. It always amazes me that we survive at all. As Froggie said: no pressure, no judgement. Share if you can and have need to and don't if you don't. Lots of joy to you.