R
Rob Sneddon
I have suffered from ptsd since my early childchil. IIfirst was traumatized when my mother lit herself on fire. I was 5 years old. By eleven after her being Hospitalized on numernum occasions We were abruptly abandoned by my father and placedpin foster care . I was when preyed upon by back pedophile for Seven years. My life as a child was sheer terror. He was arrested after two years but the damage was done. I withdrew, was bullied We were reunited with my mother and mymfather followed close behind. At thistpoint I couldn't even go to school it waswsheer terror And it happened again. Abandoned at nowhere to go. I was terrified. I actually returned to my abuser. I had nowhere to go. AndAit allastarted again. I was sickened. I waswtraumatizwas. I feel I shouldshaves stopped it sooner. I couldn't go outside. It finally stopped at 18 but I was sso terrterri of what somwrisomeI don't do even know. The shame andaguilt onotop of that was paralyzing. Finally I got the nerve to leave But I couldn't cope. Couldn't hold a job cause most dayd I was terrified. At times I don't even know why. I finally met a girl ant the to ly way i coiul speak with her was if iIwas drunk We still fell in love but the anxiety destroyed that. Surpriningly enough i actually held a job for 28 yrs. But i missed a lot of time. Avg 70days a year. I was paralyzed. Couldn't get out of bed. They did accomidate as I was thetwhs manager andanoonen else wanted the job .Then in 2014 I was diagnosed with ptsd Social anxiety and genegen anxiety. And they found a new manager and they told me they didntd want me there any more. So they packaged me out.oAfter a nervous breakdown I wwa hospitalized. And finally diagnosed. The funnyf"for lack of a better word "is deep inside i know these events are not my fault. But Bi atill get that paralyzing anxiety and a fwefeel of absolute terror. These bastards either don't know" wich i don't believe "or they don't give a flying f&$ck about the luves they have destroyed. Six suicide attempts. Months of walking up in A panic. And at most times complete doubt that i can function in society.