Sufferer My Personal Hell

[Shh]

I just got out of an extremely abusive relationship. I experienced things I never thought I would. I really feel like I need to get one of the incidents off my chest. I can't even say this was the worst. I dont remember how it started, but I remember cowering, trapped, and sobbing, begging as he point a knife and me telling me to be quiet. In a split second I felt a hard punch in my thigh, I thought he switch it around and hit me with the handle to scare me. It didn't take long to feel that warm, wet feeling. The horror I felt as I lifted my hand... There was already so much blood. I pulled myself to the bathroom, which was close by thankfully, I pulled down my pants in complete horror. He didnt snap out of it that time. He taunted me as I begged, sobbing for help. I was so scared and in so much pain. Once I got the bleeding to slow down I bit I wrapped it up. But the first step I took my leg gave out and started gushing blood. I couldn't put even the slightest pressure on my leg for days, I couldn't walk for a week. Just dragging myself in to bed cause so much pain. The entire time it healed I keep getting bad shocks of pain. I couldn't see a doctor, so I couldnt get stitches, I had to hide it. Make up a story, nobody could know the truth. I never thought at 19 I'd be treating my own stab wound without a professional, let alone ever being stabbed. In that moment I realized that one of the times he held that knife to my neck telling her he'd slit my throat, he really could have done it...

 

[Friday]

Welcome to the forums :) While I'm sorry you're here, I'm glad you found us.

 

[gealach]

I'm so glad you're out of that relationship, and that you made it out alive. I wish you much love, support, understanding, and healing. Welcome to the forum. You're a warrior!

 

[EveHarrington]

:hug:

Welcome to the forum.

 

[Shh]

Thank you for the support! This is so much harder than I could have imagined. It's nice to know I have a safe place that I can be open and others understand.

 

[Moon]

Dear Shh
Be so proud of yourself you managed to get out. My heart goes out to you what you have gone through
Abusive relationships almost never start abusive, it can so gradually that you don't even realize what madness you are in until its too late.

Don't know when this happened, but it worries me that you have not gotten any medical assistance for your wound, or that any law enforcement was involved? At least that is how I understood your words. You seem to be at serious risk, and many abusers are not willing to let their victim go without a 'fight' either. Not to mention.. the risk he may oppose to others.

I have been in hiding from my physically and mentally abusive and resentful ex for over a year, until he was committed to a mental facility. I know how hard it is to come out and be open about what happened to you.

wish you love strength and courage
welcome <3