Chris Jenkins
New Here
Sorry in advance for the long-winded story but I want to put everything on the table.
I've been with my partner for almost 8 years now, and I am very aware of his PTSD. He is a wounded combat veteran, served in Vietnam. He has always been very communicative about his PTSD so I know what triggers to avoid. However in the past his PTSD never manifested very strongly, certainly not in comparison to some of the stories I have heard from others who deal with severe PTSD on a regular basis. It is primarily loud noises like firecrackers, hydraulics, and people sneaking up on him that startle him the most but the shock lasts a few seconds and then he goes about his day.
Well that all changed this weekend when he had a PTSD breakdown of epic proportions. In September we went on a 3-week vacation to Europe that included a 2-week cruise, and he had never been to Europe before in his life. His grandparents were born in Italy, and I knew visiting Italy would have a profound impact on him. 2 weeks into our vacation we finally start hitting the Italian stops on the cruise. He put his hand on this small church in a village and got extremely emotional. He said for the first time he felt a powerful connection to his fatherland. I didn't actually expect a complete personality overhaul. He became sublimely happy until his breakdown on Friday, he was more aware of his drinking and how it removes him from fully experiencing something, and began meticulously taking notes on his phone about everything he saw (this is a 70 year-old guy whom I couldn't pay to use the note-keeping function on his phone before).
Then we return home and all hell breaks loose. A woman he worked with and goes to lunch with occasionally was freaking out that she was unable to contact him while he was on vacation, and told him she was close to calling Kaiser to figure out his whereabouts. She sent him a text days before saying this which let it brood inside of him for almost a whole week. This puts him in complete paranoia of being tracked and all week he ranted about Homeland Security and tracking devices in technology.
Then at the same damn time his sister and nieces in Minnesota (we live in California) were convinced his brother was terminally ill and not telling anyone, and they wanted him to investigate. This gets him obsessing about his brother and he eventually convinces himself that his brother is dying. I honestly feel this above all else was the breakdown point. His little brother died in Vietnam, and I just know the idea that his older brother could be dying just set him off. By the way, his brother is perfectly healthy, which has made me furious at his family in Minnesota. I finally told his brother today that this was the reason his rambling, mind games, and tangents all revolved around him and he was completely in shock.
He came home piss drunk on Friday after eating lunch with the woman he used to work with and immediately said he wanted to end the relationship. Literally the first thing he said when he came through the door and sat down at the table was "when the lease is up, you're out of here." We haven't had a big fight in years, and Friday night wasn't even a fight, it was completely one-sided. He berated me, made fun of me, and made me out to be a monster. Just two days before he took me to the beach and we had a great time. Later that night he cornered me in the bathroom and accused me of trying to kill his brother. I had 3 hours of sleep in two nights because I had to stay up with him and played his little mind games to make sure he wouldn't do something dangerous like wander off outside or try to drive the car. We spent 2.5 hours in the bathroom from 1:30-4am while he refused to let me out because he had to "make the light switches universal." He would lay down for 20 seconds and then get back up, go to the front room, and scribble more nonsensical notes on a writing pad.
There I was 30+ hours later--sleep deprived, scared, and starving due to him getting angry if I try to approach the kitchen. I was completely helpless and watching my partner going completely crazy in front of my eyes. I cried more in one day than I have cried in the rest of the duration of our relationship. He won't let me touch a cell phone or computer because he is paranoid that he will be tracked. He actually wanted to know where the microchip was on our dog so obviously I put the dog in the room so he couldn't harm him. He started exhibiting severe OCD and his mind games were completely taking over his functioning. He kept trying to turn everything into a "universal" and was obsessing about passcodes and earthquakes. It took me a while to figure out where this universal nonsense was coming from, until I put the last of the suitcases away today and saw a universal outlet that we had to buy for our electronics in Europe.
He kept obsessing about his brother so I convinced him to call his brother so he'll know he is healthy and okay. Thankfully his brother convinced him to give me the phone so I could talk to him directly. I had his brother come over, which took 2 hours because he was on the other side of the bay, and he was ready to take him to the Palo Alto VA hospital but we couldn't get my partner to leave the apartment. We eventually called 911.
He's in a Kaiser hospital now under sedation. They said he also had a bladder infection but it is "soft" and unlikely to be a major contributor to his behavior. They did a lumbar puncture to check for a brain infection but no results back on that yet. He is on Ativan to calm him down, so he is starting to sleep. His pace has slowed significantly but he still has the same fixations and paranoias. On the plus side between his rambling he said he loved me and told me I'm the #1 person in his world, which opened the flood gates.
One nurse said she saw another patient exhibit the same kind of behavior, and after 4 days she just snapped out of it. They are doing the psych evaluation tomorrow but I am still scared senseless. He means everything in the world to me. I'd take care of him for the rest of his life like this but I want to know if the outlook for this is as good as I hope it to be.
I've been with my partner for almost 8 years now, and I am very aware of his PTSD. He is a wounded combat veteran, served in Vietnam. He has always been very communicative about his PTSD so I know what triggers to avoid. However in the past his PTSD never manifested very strongly, certainly not in comparison to some of the stories I have heard from others who deal with severe PTSD on a regular basis. It is primarily loud noises like firecrackers, hydraulics, and people sneaking up on him that startle him the most but the shock lasts a few seconds and then he goes about his day.
Well that all changed this weekend when he had a PTSD breakdown of epic proportions. In September we went on a 3-week vacation to Europe that included a 2-week cruise, and he had never been to Europe before in his life. His grandparents were born in Italy, and I knew visiting Italy would have a profound impact on him. 2 weeks into our vacation we finally start hitting the Italian stops on the cruise. He put his hand on this small church in a village and got extremely emotional. He said for the first time he felt a powerful connection to his fatherland. I didn't actually expect a complete personality overhaul. He became sublimely happy until his breakdown on Friday, he was more aware of his drinking and how it removes him from fully experiencing something, and began meticulously taking notes on his phone about everything he saw (this is a 70 year-old guy whom I couldn't pay to use the note-keeping function on his phone before).
Then we return home and all hell breaks loose. A woman he worked with and goes to lunch with occasionally was freaking out that she was unable to contact him while he was on vacation, and told him she was close to calling Kaiser to figure out his whereabouts. She sent him a text days before saying this which let it brood inside of him for almost a whole week. This puts him in complete paranoia of being tracked and all week he ranted about Homeland Security and tracking devices in technology.
Then at the same damn time his sister and nieces in Minnesota (we live in California) were convinced his brother was terminally ill and not telling anyone, and they wanted him to investigate. This gets him obsessing about his brother and he eventually convinces himself that his brother is dying. I honestly feel this above all else was the breakdown point. His little brother died in Vietnam, and I just know the idea that his older brother could be dying just set him off. By the way, his brother is perfectly healthy, which has made me furious at his family in Minnesota. I finally told his brother today that this was the reason his rambling, mind games, and tangents all revolved around him and he was completely in shock.
He came home piss drunk on Friday after eating lunch with the woman he used to work with and immediately said he wanted to end the relationship. Literally the first thing he said when he came through the door and sat down at the table was "when the lease is up, you're out of here." We haven't had a big fight in years, and Friday night wasn't even a fight, it was completely one-sided. He berated me, made fun of me, and made me out to be a monster. Just two days before he took me to the beach and we had a great time. Later that night he cornered me in the bathroom and accused me of trying to kill his brother. I had 3 hours of sleep in two nights because I had to stay up with him and played his little mind games to make sure he wouldn't do something dangerous like wander off outside or try to drive the car. We spent 2.5 hours in the bathroom from 1:30-4am while he refused to let me out because he had to "make the light switches universal." He would lay down for 20 seconds and then get back up, go to the front room, and scribble more nonsensical notes on a writing pad.
There I was 30+ hours later--sleep deprived, scared, and starving due to him getting angry if I try to approach the kitchen. I was completely helpless and watching my partner going completely crazy in front of my eyes. I cried more in one day than I have cried in the rest of the duration of our relationship. He won't let me touch a cell phone or computer because he is paranoid that he will be tracked. He actually wanted to know where the microchip was on our dog so obviously I put the dog in the room so he couldn't harm him. He started exhibiting severe OCD and his mind games were completely taking over his functioning. He kept trying to turn everything into a "universal" and was obsessing about passcodes and earthquakes. It took me a while to figure out where this universal nonsense was coming from, until I put the last of the suitcases away today and saw a universal outlet that we had to buy for our electronics in Europe.
He kept obsessing about his brother so I convinced him to call his brother so he'll know he is healthy and okay. Thankfully his brother convinced him to give me the phone so I could talk to him directly. I had his brother come over, which took 2 hours because he was on the other side of the bay, and he was ready to take him to the Palo Alto VA hospital but we couldn't get my partner to leave the apartment. We eventually called 911.
He's in a Kaiser hospital now under sedation. They said he also had a bladder infection but it is "soft" and unlikely to be a major contributor to his behavior. They did a lumbar puncture to check for a brain infection but no results back on that yet. He is on Ativan to calm him down, so he is starting to sleep. His pace has slowed significantly but he still has the same fixations and paranoias. On the plus side between his rambling he said he loved me and told me I'm the #1 person in his world, which opened the flood gates.
One nurse said she saw another patient exhibit the same kind of behavior, and after 4 days she just snapped out of it. They are doing the psych evaluation tomorrow but I am still scared senseless. He means everything in the world to me. I'd take care of him for the rest of his life like this but I want to know if the outlook for this is as good as I hope it to be.
