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My spine surgery journey: from preparation to recovery

blackemerald1 said:
Which do you feel is happening to you? :)
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Actually I think both, as you say. :)

Whizzing by since it only seems so recently that I got my call from the hospital with my date (that call happened two weeks ago, today), and when I was writing here that it had been one week since getting the call already so there were just two weeks left to go.. and now look at where we are!!

But also glacially slow; this whole week, it has felt like Friday is tomorrow. Finally, I've reached Thursday so that statement is finally true, but yes, it feels like this week has taken an age.


I've been watching scoliosis surgery vlogs on youtube. I find them oddly comforting; watching people go through something like that, and getting through it. Then imagining me being in those exact scenarios, so. soon.
 
blackemerald1 said:
I am so excited for you and nervous for you too. I really want it to all go very well and your dream of having a straight spine coming true. At last! :hug:
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Thank you so much, b :hug:
blackemerald1 said:
a whole lifetime of waiting maybe?
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In a way, yes.

I was diagnosed when I was 9 years old, so over 15 years ago now.
It was my dance teacher who first discovered it.
We were standing in the centre doing an exercise, and she told me I needed to stand up straight because my left rib was sticking out. I told her I was standing up straight, and it went from there...

When I think back to that time, though, it was much much less cosmetically obvious.
But it still bothered me, because I had to make special accommodations in my dance classes - like not doing particular exercises, and using a mat to put under my back for floor work.
Of course, the accommodations were there to help my back, but no kid ever wants to be the odd one out.

It then transpired, that my best friend (since bellbird was very very little), who was also in that dance class, also got diagnosed with scoliosis!
So for a while, it was the two of us having our accommodations. And anything was more fun when it was the two of us.
Bestie's scoliosis was thoracic, and at the time mine was pretty much only lumbar (I now have a thoracic compensatory curve of about 37 degrees).
Thoracic curves are much more obvious, because they cause one shoulder blade to become very pronounced.
Bestie and I were both in "surgical territory", both had the same surgeon, and were both placed on the waiting list when we were about 14/15 years old.

Bestie then had her surgery. Her curve was progressing at a much faster rate than mine at the time, and perhaps she was also put on the list before me.
But bestie had a complication in her op. Her surgery was performed from a posterior approach due to it being in the thoracic spine (anterior approaches are only indicated for lumbar curves), so her surgery required no rib removal/lung deflation like mine will, however, in surgery they accidentally punctured her lung.

I visited her one or two days post-op.
My mum and I brought her sunflowers and magazines.
But bestie was very very very sick. And it was very very very scary as a 15 year old to see your bestie like that, and expect to be ok with going through essentially the same surgery in a little while. No thank you.
So I had my name taken off the waiting list.

Bestie made a full recovery, and is now thriving over a decade on, with no complications and no regrets having gone through the surgery.

Through the rest of high school and the start of university, I just wasn't ready.
I also wasn't in any (noticeable) pain, and had stopped having scheduled x-rays, because the radiation's negative effect outweighed the benefits of keeping a yearly eye on it.
I could request an x-ray when I wanted, but like I said, I wasn't ready and wasn't in pain, so there seemed no point.

Me becoming "ready" then coincided with my abusive relationship.
I became very self conscious of the way I looked, which wasn't made any easier by his put down comments, including specific ones such as "you would have an amazing body if it weren't for your scoliosis"
........ok
And then of course, there came the gem that still makes my hair stand on end when I think about it "you can have the surgery, but don't expect me to be there when you wake up". Which was so unbelievably loaded with a power-complex, and translated very clearly to "if you have the surgery, you'll wish you never woke up from the anaesthesia".

A total non-option, then.

After I left, there was the initial high of being free, but then my depression and symptoms started to set in quite badly, and it wasn't until I went inpatient after attempting suicide about 5 months after leaving him that I thought seriously about surgery.
My attempted OD had left me in no state to be doing my daily back exercises, and I noticed it.

When I was discharged, my T was overjoyed to hear that I wanted to have the surgery, because even though I was still suicidal at the time, it meant that I was "future-looking". Or in the words of my pdoc: "people who want to kill themselves don't tend to make plans for major surgeries that will make their lives better.

So I saw my GP for an x-ray referral back in July of last year.
She then sent my x-rays and a referral to my surgeon.
I had my scoliosis clinic appointment a few months later, and was put on the waiting list.
Then I had my pre-op about a month after that.
And now, a few months later, here I am: 5 days to go.

Yes, I will be having the same surgeon that bestie had, but this is a decision that I have made consciously through discussions with her, and research on him.
He is by far the best in the area, and to go elsewhere would mean plane-journeys between the hospital and home, which are not a viable way of getting home with a newly reconstructed spine. He also over 10 more years experience since then.
Despite her complications, bestie still recommends him and now has no complications and no regrets.
And I joke that they're going to be purposely deflating my lung, so technically they can't puncture a deflated balloon anyway ;)


Well, this has turned out to be quite the novel. Sorry about that.
But some of you who've followed along this journey may be interested as to how I got here.
And with 5 days left to go, it's quite nice to look back at where I've come from.
 
Oh @bellbird novel away!! This is so interesting and I was pleased to find out how you arrived five days out from surgery. :)

You have such tenacity and courage. You have lived long enough with this condition and I admire you for making this decision.
I have such a good feeling about this surgery for you. I know it's a really big event in your life and I hope it helps you to feel stronger and better.

I know this isn't about how you look. You don't need me to tell you that your abuser behaved like an idiot. Little wonder you tossed him out. I'm glad you did. :)

Your bestie sounds like she had a really big near miss. Well done her for pulling through and as you say she is now thriving. She sounds very sensible btw.

All of your reasons for not wanting the surgery and now finally becoming ready to have it make absolute sense to me. The surgeon sounds very experienced too and you are correct about the deflation of your lung. Essentially they are different operations too.

Thank you for sharing how you arrived at your decision.

Only a few days to go now.. Stay strong and keep smiling woman!! :) :hug:
 

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