My spine surgery journey: from preparation to recovery

[bellbird]

Soo, I didn't need any paracetamol over night, and it's now 2pm the following day and I still haven't needed any.

And in more ohmygod News: my spine is getting noticeably straighter, in several metrics; the cosmetic appearance of my torso, my increased height, and my surgeon's positive responses, and another that I've twigged onto just now:

It isn't as simple as putting both shoulders back; my left shoulder can actually sit quite naturally, or even forward just a touch so it has the same end-silhouette as the other, but I have to really put my right shoulder back and down, to the point where there is a slight dull discomfort at the moment.

I don't need to do this anymore.
In fact if I do do this, I'm now over-compensating and my left shoulder rides up.

It's not that there's less discomfort when I put my right shoulder down because it's become easier over time.
It's that I just don't need to do it as much.

Which means that my thoracic curve has almost straightened out so that my overall spine is almost straight.
Which means that this is working.

Genuinely sitting here jaw-dropped and teary-eyed.
This is insane.

 

[Wendell_R]

Genuinely sitting here jaw-dropped and teary-eyed.
This is insane.

It's wonderful that the pain is dropping quickly and your body is getting so used to its new shape!

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

BRAVO @bellbird ?
It sounds like you will have smooth sailing from here on! I read this thread last night to get caught up. Wow! You went through A LOT and have come through with FLYING colors! SO happy for you!!!??

 

[bellbird]

Thank you @AngelkeeperJ :hug: I noticed you reading along, as I saw your notifications popping up every now and then. Really touched that you took the time to catch up.

--
I spoke to my GP and T today; two different phone consults. Got to tell them about my surgery follow up and sort of relived the happiness of that day which was quite nice, since life is a bit shit in other areas at the moment.

I get to take my dressing off, for like, forever, tomorrow. Which I'm excited for. Until now I've only ever seen the section of my scar that's on my tummy, when I've glanced down while a nurse has done a dressing change, but it goes from just left of my belly button, around my left side and up to my mid upper back above my bra strap. My bastard of a chest tube scar hovers just off to the side like its little moon, in my solar system of scars.

I've also been able to stay off paracetamol, but am not taking that for granted nor writing off needing to take some in the future.

I think that's all for now; my back-related challenges have taken a back seat for now while my mental ones are having their turn. Such is life with multiple disorders, I suppose. At least they're not doing it both at the same time.

So wish I could run, though. Sitting on the ground is good and all, but it's nothing on being out there by the river.

I can wiggle my toes, though. Even if I can't yet run, that still matters.

 

[bellbird]

I just showered and removed my dressing. It was so much more cathartic than I was expecting.

For the first time in over 7 weeks, it was just me standing there under the water; no dressing wrapping my side from my tummy to my upper back.
Just, me. Albeit me with 2 titanium rods and 10 screws.

The new me.

I looked in the mirror afterwards and saw my scar in its entirety for the very first time, 7 weeks after it was put there.

And my brain went ok, yeah, this was a big thing we went through.
Like duh, bellbird.

But until now, I'd felt everything; the pain, the nausea, the numbness, the dizziness, the weakness, the frustration, the fear, the elation.

To see it. The scar. My scar.

Proof,
of what I'd been through.

As if I'd needed it.

But maybe,
I did.

 

[blackemerald1]

But until now, I'd felt everything;

And now you have seen what it was all for? Cannot wait to hear how you feel when you can start running again.

 

[Teasel]

Which means that this is working.

Welling up again :D

And it's strange how something like seeing the scar makes it more real isn't it. As if it comes as a surprise? Even though you knew it already rationally.. I wonder if visual knowing is somehow different.

Best to you :)

 

[bellbird]

Happy 2 months post-op to me :)

Ended up isolating for the past week or so. Things got pretty challenging mentally.

Physically, though, things have been going ok.

I've been applying rosehip oil to my scar at least once daily. It looks beautiful. It's just a flat line against my skin, now. The (non-pathological) slight redness on the surrounding skin that had been under dressing-adhesive for 6 weeks has now gone.

I've been increasing my walking distances, slowly. Most recently walking 3km on Friday, before I headed back to my flat yesterday.
I didn't need to take any breaks and I felt really good after. I even took my first 4-5 running steps at the end of it. -- a very weird feeling! Best explanation is that it felt like I had a hunk of metal in the middle of my torso. No, seriously. Then again, I've never known what it feels like to run with a straight spine. So it could just be that.

I know it will be a little while before I properly run, and even though that milestone feels a little inconceivable at this stage, I've made other inconceivable milestones these past 2 months. I can make this one, too.

Another thing I realised: I now have less pain during car rides than I used to pre-op.
In fact, I have virtually no pain during car rides now. And I've remained completely off all pain meds. Ugh, tearing up again. This is huge for me. Like so f*cking huge. Life changing huge.

I'm (very) slowly working on returning to some level of normalcy, now that I've had my restrictions eased. But I'm very mindful of my back; always bending my knees when I bend, etc. Actually, bending still massively takes it out of me at this stage. So unpacking yesterday when I arrived back at my flat had me very zonked.

I'm so, so happy to be back here, though.
This city has seen many sides of me: abused-me, suicidal-me, dissociative-me.

But straight-spined, free-walking -me?
Yesterday,
for the very first time.

All those nights I lay in this bed and imagined what it would be like once I'd had my surgery. And now here I am, on the other side.
Wild.
Totally, amazingly, wild.


Some photos: the first from my walk on Friday; welcome to my corner of the world.

The second, a close up of one of my xrays (my med info was around the edges of it, and the instrumentation is the interesting bit anyway).
Taken as though I'm facing you; my rods are on the left side of my spine. Two screws in each vertebrae from T11- L3. And the little boxes are the cages in between my vertebrae that hold my bone graft (rib + donor femoral head).

 

[bellbird]

So I'm currently eating dinner whilst watching random YouTube videos for distraction (evenings tend to be my worst time of day, symptom-wise), and a spinal fusion post-op vlog popped up in my recommended videos.
I used to watch people's vlogs of pre-op/op-day/post-op often, particularly in the lead up to my own surgery.
I would imagine myself going through it, and what it would be like for me.

It still feels very very surreal thinking back; that I actually have been through the op.
I no longer have to imagine what pre-op or op-day or post-op in hospital and at my parent's home would be like. Because I have my own memories to answer those previously unanswerable questions.

And the fact that I'm sitting here, with a straight spine, wiggling my toes, and not in pain despite now being 3 weeks off all pain meds?
Still makes me tear up.
And you know what? I'm glad it does. I'm glad it all still means that much to me.

Not that tears = meaningful thing.
But to have that visceral of a reaction, when the only other things that typically can bring that on are wrought with emotional pain? Is a pretty special thing.
And it makes the dinner that I cooked (while standing up (because I can stand long enough to be able to prepare my own meals now (ok more tears))) taste even better :inlove:

 

[bellbird]

Guess who just completed her first 9-5 university day since surgery?!! Including a half run to catch the bus (tbh, the backpack, boots and skinny jeans weren't helping with my running ability, but all considered it definitely felt easier than my few running steps a couple of weeks ago.)

To top it off, I got to watch a beautiful sunset through my (very dirty, I know, I've asked for them to be cleaned) office windows right at the end of my day.
I hope the sun shines brightly for you in your corner of the world today. And my heartfelt thanks for all the support throughout this journey so far. It truly means so so so much.

 

[bellbird]

I want to make sure that I give my body as much care and attention throughout post-op recovery as I did during pre-op preparations.

Two things that I've been sorting to help do that:

1. I had an ergonomic assessment done yesterday in my office space at my university.
The occupational health and safety nurse who did the assessment was awesome. Like really wanting the best for my back. Reminded me of the lovely nurse at my 6-week follow-up who removed my dressing and cleaned the area so meticulously as I had already gone through this big surgery and she was going to make damn sure that things went smoothly afterwards.

Basically the OSH nurse yesterday has recommended that I have a sit-to-stand desk that can be moved up or down with the push of a button. Two adjustable computer screen stands for my double screens. And the absolute top of the range desk chair that has a full-length back, lumbar support and an adjustable back and seat. She said the university will probably kick up a fuss because it isn't one of their preferred chairs (ie. the cheaper ones) but that she doesn't care because I've been through back surgery and I need it. And she's already prepared for their phonecall and is going to fight to make sure I get it.

My supervisor told me that he has done some banging on tables and organised that our department will pay for it, however, if they wouldn't have he would.

2. I've self-referred myself for a Green Prescription which is basically a physical activity program. My GP mentioned it to me via email several weeks ago.
It means I'll be able to get discounted gym and pool membership, to be able to do the stationary biking and swimming that my surgeon recommended for my initial return to exercise.
The gym/pool complex I'm going to use is only 10 minutes walk from my flat, which is very handy.
With membership there I'll get 24 hour gym access, as well as pool, spa and sauna access.
I'll also get phone/email support through the Green Prescription program to see how I am tracking.
I've got my induction booked for Monday morning!

Let's gooooooooooooooooooo

 

[LuckiLee]

I'm so happy you're feeling better and on the move. And you're right. This is life changing. Woo hoo!

My friend recently had back surgery for her scoliosis too. Not as extensive as yours though. She said when she first stood up after her surgery it was the first time in decades she was able to stand without pain. ?

It's amazing how far the medical field has progressed in some areas. I'm eventually going to need my knee reconstructed but I'm waiting as long as possible to get the most advanced technology. So not looking forward to it!! Ugh.

It sounds like you have a great support system. Even your boss is helping as much as he can. Awesome!!

Glad you're on the mend and I hope your other challenges ease up a bit.

XO