In the last few days I've had this crushing weight on my chest because of Thanksgiving. There is always so much pressure to get food, make food, bring family together and so-on.
This year I kept my mouth shut. I know I'm in an angry streak so I just didn't say much. Which is why I think my poor back went out. I think it's all psychosomatic.
Anyway.. Through all of this I've been a living nightmare to be around an my family, talking about the kids an boyfriend, have just let me deal with this.
Today the guilt is seeping in. Did I overstep any boundaries I should have avoided?
How much harm am I causing everyone?
My psychologist and doctors have all said my kids are very well adjusted.
I've decided my brain needs to find something to fall apart over because of how awful the years before were.
I don't want to sound like that drunk or abuser that's always apologizing for falling I the calm wagon.
I put myself in time out a lot when I need the rest I'm just not sure it's enough anymore.
This year I kept my mouth shut. I know I'm in an angry streak so I just didn't say much. Which is why I think my poor back went out. I think it's all psychosomatic.
Anyway.. Through all of this I've been a living nightmare to be around an my family, talking about the kids an boyfriend, have just let me deal with this.
Today the guilt is seeping in. Did I overstep any boundaries I should have avoided?
How much harm am I causing everyone?
My psychologist and doctors have all said my kids are very well adjusted.
I've decided my brain needs to find something to fall apart over because of how awful the years before were.
I don't want to sound like that drunk or abuser that's always apologizing for falling I the calm wagon.
I put myself in time out a lot when I need the rest I'm just not sure it's enough anymore.
