My therapist’s reaction to a timeline really hurt

[Tinyflame]

I should have said @Justmehere ,

I don't believe you should feel shame because.. Surviving it ...

..means you can't avoid it. And this was not your idea or choice of what you would have to deal with in your life. But you are. Bravely.

:notworthy: :hug:

 

[hithere]

may I ask how old you were when the traumatic events happend?

 

[Justmehere]

@hithere - do you mean how old I was? Well, I was born into an abusive family and ran into multiple traumatic events as an adult. A wide span of age.

Quick update -

I have had a terrible day for a long list of reasons. I kinda stopped being functional and a couple people picked up on it. It was a thing. It was a big step back. I reached out to my therapist. I rarely do this. She called and was so reassuring, I was so confused! Lol. She was really empathetic though. I almost said, "Wait, I need the super-blunt-and-says-the-things-I-don’t-want-to-hear therapist back for a moment!" She got direct on her own, without me saying anything, like her normal self, but was clearly also trying to empathize more.

I’m laughing at myself a bit because I realized we have gotten along well until recently because I don’t usually seek much of needing someone to validate or really get it. Early on, I told her, I don't care if you believe me. I really didn't. It has been all too real. (She does believe me, and it's not so reassuring - doesn't really change much for me. Kinda odd.)

It’s new with this particular trauma that I guess I needed something different, and I guess that's what threw us both. It was interesting to experience her direct blunt input is what I needed to get my feet under me, and the empathy and reassurance is what helped me hear it better. I guess I needed both.

I'm mostly struck by how she really took my input to heart so much. Many thanks to all of you for really hearing me out and helping me stick this out, even when I have been ready to throw in the towel... or freaking balloons at her (which I didn't need to do.) Thank you deeply. Lots to keep working through.

 

[Abstract]

Credit to you for:
identifying what you needed
having the courage to express it
Developing understanding of how tricky it is for her to provide exactly what you need in the moment when ones needs change per situation.

I know you arent still focusing on this here but:
SOMETHING being complex doesn't comment on you in any form.
SOMETHING being complex doesn't comment on your ability to deal with it.
SOMETHING being complex doesn't comment on you being able to find someone who will help you with it, ultimately. You just need the right person.
SOMETHING being complex merely only comments on the other people involved in the original event. Not you.

I'm glad you have managed to reestablish rapport with her and that she is jumping through hoops to help you. ;)

Personally, I don't appear to need validation in therapy and didn't think I did but the lack had a very significant negative effect on me in the past so credit to you identifying what was happening. I ignored it to my significant detriment. Being able to post about it, process and react accordingly is a real and important skill all of its own. In my opinion. As long as you stay switched on to your reactions you will be fine in the long run.