My therapist is a sociopath and he doesn't help me

[Deleted member 45588]

I'm not sure if my family believes me when I tell people he is a sociopath, and it's really painful for me to see a sociopath like this after being sexually assaulted by one. He makes it look like I'm getting the help I need and he manipulates my mum and he is very manipulative towards me as well and it's just frustrating. None of what he does in the sessions has helped me even a little bit, and most of what's in the sessions seems to be stuff to try and manipulate me, and I don't really know how much he has manipulated me but I don't want to be in contact with a freaking sociopath. The only reason we keep seeing him because he's part of the deal of me coming out of a mental health institution, he wastes so much of my time and he never ever talks about the sexual assault with me. He's a terrible person but like most sociopaths he's good at hiding it. I just wanted to vent and see what people have to say but I guess I could ask some questions. How do I deal with this? What does he want from me?

All I can think of is that he's getting something from this by being cruel by making it look like I'm getting the help I need when I'm not.

I'm not even sure if the stuff in his sessions is widely accepted as proper CBT. I was thinking of maybe quoting the material to see what other people who have had CBT think...

 

[digger]

What about him makes you feel he is a sociopath? If you are able to get more specific about what he's doing that you find inappropriate, or that isn't helping, it might help more with finding solutions.

Could you request to see a different therapist?

Do you mind me asking what age you are now?

 

[Deleted member 45588]

What about him makes you feel he is a sociopath??...

I'm 18 and I find it unhelpful because he never speaks about the sexual assault and doesn't talk about PTSD or anything like that which would seem appropriate considering my trauma :/. I know not everyone who have had a trauma get PTSD but he hasn't mentioned it even once and he just seems interested in acting like nothing happened to me and invalidating me.

He fits all the traits of sociopathy/Antisocial personality disorder, meaning he doesn't care about the safety of others or himself, he is irresponsible, has a grandiose image, shows no remorse, disregards social norms, he lies, manipulates, has a need of stimulation, etc, etc.

I think all the other therapists working in the area with him are sociopaths too, just based off a horrible experience in a mental health ward. Where I live is known and rated as one of the worst places when it comes to help for mental health, but I will try and see a GP and see if they can refer me to something better.

The CAHMS and the IAPT didn't help me and this service isn't helping either. I was literally referenced to CAHMs for suicidal thoughts and they did nothing and acted like I had no mental health issues. I'm utterly sick of this.

He's doing this stuff about apprasials ATM and most of the stuff doesn't seem like proper therapy or psychology and seemed to be stuff he's literally pulled from his ass.

 

[BloomInWinter]

It would be inappropriate for him to talk about traumas you don't bring up, and processing cannot happen when there is no trust. How often do you see him? Sounds like you need to ask for a new therapist since you think so poorly of him. It's not possible to form a therapeutic alliance if we don't trust our therapist. I'd tell him what you think and see what he has to say.

 

[digger]

he doesn't care about the safety of others or himself, he is irresponsible, has a grandiose image, shows no remorse, disregards social norms, he lies, manipulates, has a need of stimulation, etc, etc.

If these are things you've experienced in treatment with him, it might be useful to list some specific examples of these things and how it's affected your therapy and consider making a formal complaint.

It can be really hard to access appropriate mental health care through the NHS, but if you have a sympathetic GP, there is no harm in asking at least if there are any other options available that would meet the requirements of this

part of the deal of me coming out of a mental health institution

Is the deal that you have to be in therapy, or in a specific kind of therapy? I'm wondering if there might be any charities that might be able to offer something.

 

[Deleted member 45588]

If these are things you've experienced in treatment with him, it might be useful to list some specific examples of these things and how it's affected your therapy and consider making a formal complaint.
.

My family say it will just cause more trouble if I make a complaint about him and if I get the police involved it will just get worse -.-. I don't think she means any harm though. Apparently I'm in the middle of a trigger due to the news so I should let it go or I will say something I'm going to regret. Idk what to freaking do... But apparently I'm going to be discharged from his crappy services soon anyway, and then we are seeing a GP.

 

[digger]

apparently I'm going to be discharged from his crappy services soon anyway

That's something to hold onto if you are not finding therapy with him helpful.

if I get the police involved it will just get worse -.-.

I'm concerned about this though - are there things he's doing that would be considered criminal?

 

[Deleted member 45588]

are there things he's doing that would be considered criminal?

If he is a you know what then he probably engages in illegal activity. but I have no evidence he has done anything I can say is illegal, unless it's something I can't find out, so don't worry he just seems to be messing around with me rather than doing anything very malicious.

 

[Sideways]

Therapy, and cbt in particular? Are manipulative by their nature. The goal of the therapist is to help you change the way you think and behave. So yeah, you’re potentially going to feel very manipulated.

Jumping to the conclusion that he’s a sociopath, and then making the leap to “he’s probably engaging in criminal behaviour” is going to be counterproductive in your therapeutic journey.

 

[Deleted member 45588]

...Jumping to the conclusion that he’s a sociopath... .

What if he actually is one though? And I know the traits of a sociopath and they all apply to him so I'm sure it's not just me. This is precisely how sociopaths get away with stuff - no one believes you because they're so darned cunning and charming :S. My mind is telling me to stay far away from him.

 

[digger]

If he is a you know what then he probably engages in illegal activity.

Ok. If this is what you would be basing your complaint on then I think your family is probably wise to be advising caution.

It's clear that you're struggling with the relationship and that it doesn't sound like it's a good fit, and I hope you are able to get referred on to someone who can help you. I agree with @Ragdoll Circus that this current line of thought though isn't going to be the most helpful to you moving forward.

Has there been anyone you've worked with in mental health that you've felt has been beneficial at all? If so, can you think about what it was about them that you found helped?

 

[Sideways]

My mind is telling me to stay far away from him.

This is the important part. If he feels unsafe, the labels aren’t necessary, because feeling unsafe is enough of a reason.