My Therapist Talked To Me About "left Vs. Right Brain Thinking"

[just me here]

I have been catching some flack from my therapist about restricting my true emotions and balking at letting down my guard. She pretty much nailed the times in my life when I survived only through totally maintaining control over my emotions and not letting anyone including myself see them. She correctly diagnosed me as a left brain thinker, very much a problem solver and a detail and order oriented person. I basically make my living letting these attributes take front and center stage in my own mind and my interaction with people.

She says that as long as the left brain is running the show, the right brain will never get to open up and let her do her voo-doo on me.

I asked if we were wasting our time, she says no. There have been times when she was getting in to the real emotions and we can make it happen again.

I asked her if there were events we had covered that I thought we were done with and she thought we were still working on and she basically took us all the way back to my biggest baddest trauma, one that I was able to compartmentalise for 35 years.

Now I wonder- can I learn to turn off my left brain and let the emotions show? I thought I was, I thought I was letting too much show, I thought that all those emotions were the problem and not letting them bother me was the solution. Wrong again?

 

[Rumors]

Interesting. I felt like I was reading my biography! I do the very same thing so if you figure it all out, please let me know!!

Best wishes and hang in there!

 

[therapybankrupt]

Gee I wonder if all people with PTSD are left brainers. I can over think anything. I am all you identify as a left brain thinker! Ha

 

['91 Girl]

Oh my goodness...fairly certain my therapist and I had a conversation today that was EXTREMELY similar to what you are talking about...and I have no clue yet if/when I can turn off my left brain and let my emotions show. I hide them so well that I can barely recognize them anymore...it's gonna take a while for that to change :confused:

 

[Hashi]

I don't see it so much as turning off your left brain, I think it's about allowing your right brain to express itself too. To function well we need a balance of the two (wise mind).

You can do certain activities to encourage right brain expression, especially creative activities - any kind of art, writing, music, craft, decorating a room etc. I find it much easier to work with emotions through things like drawing, doing collage or writing a poem. It doesn't matter how "bad" or basic the creative work is, no-one else has to see it. You can draw stick figures and write limericks if you want to. The important thing is that you're connecting with something without going into logic and rationalisation.

Some therapists work with sand trays, and a lot are happy to let clients draw or write with crayons in session - does your therapist do anything like that?

You also need to feel safe enough to allow the emotions. I find skills like self-soothing, grounding and distraction help with this. I've had to do a lot of work on containment, ie feeling safe enough to allow some emotions without feeling out of control or getting overwhelmed. I do this quite literally sometimes. For example, any art that I do for therapy always has to be in a sketch book so I can close it, then I put it in a bag with a combination padlock through the zip - I literally lock it away when I'm not working on it.

 

[intothelight]

Hashi is dead on with the balance between the two (wise mind).

Most of the time I am very left brained, but when the right brain kicks in, the regulation of my rational thinking is overridden and I find myself flooding emotionally. There are some really great tools with Dialectic Behavior Therapy (DBT) that help in achieving this balance.

 

[just me here]

All good advice and thanks to everyone.

But......

I am a very creative person also. I designed my house and built it. My job, although very left brain oriented in that I have to remember an incredible amount of information and be able to organise projects that run well into the 4 and 5 figures also involves right brain thinking when I design machines with no existing models to copy from. I get to put together solutions for some major problems encountered in our manufacturing processes and it requires some very creative thinking.

And my hobbies are all right brain too; Photography, music, modifying guitars and amplifiers, things like that. I will admit that I have been getting more serious about my music and putting on my game face when I play. Less spontaneous ad lib improvisation and more of the real nuts and bolts of learning to play the music as played by the original artists and retaining it so I can build a repertoire.

Its not that my right brain doesn't get out and enjoy some fresh air from time to time, it's just that I seem to be less able than most to articulate my feelings about some very nasty to remember times in my life. Frankly, she wants all the emotions I had to suppress and compartmentalise in order to still have either a right or left brain that still functioned after it was all over, I am probably afraid I will become suicidal again if I let the door swing open too far. I don't think I can unloose those dogs without some nasty fallout and I am already just getting through one day at a time.

 

[fyredrift23]

Now I wonder- can I learn to turn off my left brain and let the emotions show? I thought I was, I thought I was letting too much show, I thought that all those emotions were the problem and not letting them bother me was the solution. Wrong again?

In direct response to your questions, I would answer, "Yes, yes."

I believe that with time, effort, and patience with yourself you will be able to allow your emotions to more easily flow. You mentioned in a later post how your hobbies tend to be pretty right brain oriented, and it sounded like you were wondering how, if this is the case, you then seem to be restricting your right brain oriented emotions while in therapy. Am I understanding you correctly? I think that while having access to right brain oriented skills is a great thing and really adds to the "balance" that other posters have mentioned, that ability does not necessarily transfer over to therapy. I'm not saying that you are doing anything wrong, but I think that summoning emotions for play or relaxation (and, probably, with little to no effort on your part) is a heck of a lot easier than doing so when trying to wrestle with very painful memories.

I applaud you for strengthening your right brain skills through your hobbies and other means :tup: I do think, however, that this is independent of being able to access your emotions while in therapy or while discussing very painful and difficult times. I think the old survival mechanism you had to utilize in your past is simply kicking in again. I think it's totally understandable that this would be happening even if you are presently safe. You are human, and those feelings and reactions are super normal.

I'm not sure if I'm making any sense, so I'll try to make an analogy. I hope this works!

Let's say you are a college student and you have a demanding course schedule that requires you to be able to study 15 hours a week. Let's say that you really want to listen to some new music you bought, but you really need to study at that moment. Though you may want to simply enjoy your music without any outside distractions, you study instead. You had to deny, block, and ignore your feelings of happiness and anticipation in order to take care of your needs.

Now, let's say you find time to listen to your new music, play guitar, and take some photos. Your feelings of happiness and anticipation are back, but this time they can be allowed to make their presence known. In fact, you welcome them with open arms!

Now let's say it's time for you to schedule your courses for your next semester, and you are debating between an elective and a course under your major. If you decide to take the course for your major, you will be on track academically, but you will not necessarily be emotionally involved in the class. If you decide to take the elective course, you will have to take a course for your major over the summer, but you would be extremely happy and quite emotionally involved in the class. Again, here come happiness and anticipation, skipping towards you and holding hands. Although they were more than welcomed while you were relaxing and enjoying yourself, in this context you would prefer they go away.

Happiness and anticipation are confused and a little upset because they were rejected. It seems as if you only want to "play" with them when you are engaged in more laid-back activities that really interest and comfort you. Well, now let's say you have decided against taking the elective. Before beginning your new school year, you have to register again. Let's say you encounter yet another dilemma involving an elective course and one for your major. Let's say the scenario is the same as it was last time. You are much more interested in the elective, but need to take the major course to stay on track.

This time, however, happiness and anticipation don't show up. You know in your mind that this elective course should be making you excited, but you only feel a sort of numbing sensation or a dull sense of joy. The next day, after registering for the major course, you play some more guitar and discover happiness and anticipation are right behind you. Where were they yesterday?!

Sure, you may not have signed up for the elective regardless, but it was an odd experience to not have any feelings surrounding the option at all. It's a very frustrating realization, but you begin to see that you have had to sacrifice those feelings in order to accomplish your academic goals. Happiness and anticipation sure didn't like feeling rejected, so, in those academic contexts, they stopped coming to see you.

I hope this helps :)

 

[Hashi]

Its not that my right brain doesn't get out and enjoy some fresh air from time to time, it's just that I seem to be less able than most to articulate my feelings about some very nasty to remember times in my life. Frankly, she wants all the emotions I had to suppress and compartmentalise in order to still have either a right or left brain that still functioned after it was all over, I am probably afraid I will become suicidal again if I let the door swing open too far. I don't think I can unloose those dogs without some nasty fallout and I am already just getting through one day at a time.

That's where you need containment. I don't know if this video could be helpful. It's a trauma therapist talking about the need to allow a little bit out at a time and be able to put the brakes back on. It's from the therapist's point of view, but as a client I found it a really clear explanation of what's needed.

For me, using creativity to express the emotions makes it easier to contain. It lets me look at things from one step away. Rather than talk directly about fear, for example, I would rather find a metaphor for my fear (eg, being trapped in ice) and talk about the metaphor. Or draw the fear as red spikes covering the whole page, then talk about why I chose red spikes. It gives me enough distance to address it. And, like I said, I can literally lock it away after, which works symbolically too.

In addition, you need a toolkit of ways to put the brakes on - grounding, coping, soothing and distracting skills and activities that you've put in place for when you need them.

 

[just me here]

Thanks for the continued effort- fyredrift23 makes some very good points, thank you. The video from Hashi is a great analogy and one I will use when trying to find out whats bothering my wife and she is reluctant to talk about it, just forget about it and enjoy the evening she says even tho she is obviously "shaken" by something. Thanks.

The analogy of knowing the brake pedal well before using the accelerator at all is simple and right on in my situation.

So glad to have the help offered up by all, thank you for your time especially.

 

[Maggiemay]

Yep, I'm definitely also a left brain thinker, always have been. I've talked about it with my previous therapist. It was hard getting me to open up & get vulnerable, but when I allowed myself to just be, when I stopped over thinking and analysing and interpreting every little thing, I finally got somewhere.

My new T talked about me as 'pseudo mentalising' - I appear to understand and get things and connect on an intellectual level, but not on an emotional level. It was amazing how free I felt when I let down my guard and allowed myself to feel and be in the moment, rather than constantly judging myself.

 

[The Albatross]

Interesting Maggie May, I've never heard of the term 'pseudo mentalising' that kind of fits me as well. (off topic, but thanks, I'd like to know more about this)