Relationship My vet vanished

[Ronin]

I'd keep the gifts, his problem he lost them and got himself lost, and try to forget.

So sorry he pulled that shit when you were in so a bad spot after jerking you around so long. Sympathies.

 

[Help2cope]

Be the bigger person... mail his stuff back to his parents and wash your hands of him. Just because...

Sweet pea - about 4 days ago I was enraged when his friend wrote me the message treating me like I was nothing. I dropped about $200 on takeout and movies with his card connected to our accounts at home. I later notice he cut off all the accounts. I know this was probably not right. I do feel guilty though. At the time it made me feel some small amount of vindication.

 

[Sweetpea76]

You have to be careful with tit-for-tat games when dealing with a partner/ex with mental health issues. Relationship drama is not going to fly.

 

[Sighs]

I agree with @Sweetpea76. Take the moral high ground. Mail all his stuff back. If you can, pay back the money you spent on his account (less the cost of postage of his belongings).

Personally, I would then ghost him. If he ever tried to contact me again he would hear nothing but crickets chirping.

 

[Help2cope]

I actually thought about paying back the money I used on our joint accounts. After thinking about it he left me high and dry 2 weeks before were suppose to move and didn't offer a dime for any of the household bills and I am now having to put my things in storage and stay with my parents for the first time EVER in my adulthood. He knew we were moving and still chose not to come home - he knew this would put me in a bad situation and that it could potentially cost me all my money. So I will mail his stuff. But we will just call the $200 - the electric bill.

 

[Help2cope]

You have to be careful with tit-for-tat games when dealing with a partner/ex with mental health issu...

Relationship drama? I would say a vanishing act 2 weeks before a big move and 2 days after marriage talk is about all the drama I can handle.

 

[Sweetpea76]

What exactly are you looking for here on this forum? Understanding of PTSD and the relationship issues it causes? Something else?

 

[Help2cope]

What exactly are you looking for here on this forum? Understanding of PTSD and the relationship issu...

Yes an understanding of PTSD and relationship problems. I think to begin with I was honestly looking for an explanation or excuse - however I realize that is unhealthy behavior. I was looking to appoint an illness rather than the person to be responsible for a set of actions. Mainly I was trying to understand why someone would behave and such ways. I do understand the PTSD manifest itself in many different ways and I have taken such advice from you and the other supporters on the forum. I apreciate the responses.

 

[PTSDWIFE]

Oh, honey. That just sucks. I can imagine you feel a lot of emotions right now. It sounds as though he got scared of the comittment and handled it in the most childish, meanest way possible. You really deserve better than that.

Be prepared for him to pop up again, as they tend to do. What will you do to be prepared? Hopefully, you will work on being good to yourself, surrounding yourself with loved ones, and being the best version of yourself. I would mail his stuff to his parents, and walk away knowing I was the better person. Good luck!

 

[Help2cope]

Oh, honey. That just sucks. I can imagine you feel a lot of emotions right now. It sounds as though...

PTSDWife

You seem very kind. Thank you. Today I turned his firearm over as an abandoned weapon and sent a certified letter with the case information and were it could be retrieved. Very short - to the point with no emotional verbiage or involvement. Extremely buisness like. I will mail his things within 30 days and I plan to take care of myself - realize this is not my fault and that in the future I need to pay better attention to ACTIONS rather than words. I understand their is no excuse for his behavior as it was simply cruel and heartless. I WILL be okay and I will not blame myself. If he pops back up - I will not allow him to enter my life or speak with me.