Thanks for the hugs and the support,
@Rain :hug: :hug:
Yesterday I was feeling ill, and I'm still not feeling great, but it's better today. I have got tissues lying around everywhere, it's pretty gross, lol.
I've been feeling a little down and sad lately, but that seems to be improving as well. There's still no news on the dog. I really miss her.
One thing that has been very good about last week is that I finally went kickboxing again. I've been wanting to do that for a very long time. I took an introduction course a few years back and I liked it, but I hated that the little hall it was in had a whole wall with mirrors, like in a dance studio. I really didn't like seeing myself while exercising; it hurt my focus and my self confidence.
This time, however, I went somewhere else with a close friend of mine. There were no mirrors, the trainer was a regular guy (instead of the perfectly muscular, polished types at my old gym), and the training was simple but effective. I have not worked out this hard for a very long time. Afterwards, my hands were shaking, I could barely lift my arms and I was exhausted, but I felt awesome. Especially when the trainer told me I was picking it up quite quickly :) That made me feel really empowered, and I still feel that way now.
So I'm going to make this a weekly thing. It's nice to be this excited about something again. I needed that.
My classes at uni start in early October, because I only have to pass one more course to get my BSc. This course is one of my least favourite of all time, but I'm looking forward to getting into the work flow again. I will have to pace myself, because I tend to go all in on something and then end up too exhausted and stressed to function. That's another reason to keep kickboxing: the stress relief and distraction will come in handy.
My T is on a vacation at the moment, but I have a new appointment later this week. We're getting close to the end of the EMDR of my main trauma, but we both feel that I probably could use some more treatment after that. One of my main goals is to no longer have to take antidepressants, and right now I still really need them. It's a scary thought, to be finished with EMDR and not feel like I'm 100% better yet. I don't want to feel weak and damaged anymore. It's not who I am.
I'm probably going to spend today doing nothing but watching Netflix and doing some cleaning. I've stocked up on soup, breadsticks, natural nasal spray and fresh fruit juice. I'm hoping that taking good care of myself will help me kick this cold more quickly.
