My Weirdness Because Of Ants

[jadebear]

Weird thread title, I know.....

When I was very young, my brother and I were playing outside with anthills. We were playing with them and throwing them. I ended up covered with ants. They were in my hair, on my face, everywhere, and I wiped them off. I went in the house and started feeling them crawling in my ears. I totally flipped out.

I went to the kitchen where my mom was washing dishes. By then, I was panicking and crying and screaming. I was lying on the floor, on my stomach, kicking the floor and screaming for her to help me. She wouldn't stop washing dishes, I'm not sure if she didn't care or didn't believe me when I told her my ears were full of ants. After she finished the dishes, she finally looked at me since I wouldn't stop screaming and crying. My ears were full of ants. She took an eyedropper, filled it with water and flushed the ants out.

After that, when I would go to bed at night, I would think I could hear ants crawling in my ears. I would turn my head to the left and wait for them to crawl out. They wouldn't, so I would turn my head to the right and wait. That sound never went away. I couldn't stand it and it would keep me awake. I did that every night until I was 12 yrs. old. It was then that I learned in school that it was my pulse I was hearing at night(duh,LOL).

Fast forward to now. I realize that all the ear problems I have are probably just in my mind. I have days where I can hardly hear and my ears itch and hurt and feel like there's something crawling in them. It usually happens when I'm stressed or anxious(so that means it happens often). It drives me crazy and I can't stand it. I have been to the doctor so many times and they never find anything wrong. The last time I went, the doctor told me "just stop worrying about your ears, leave them alone, there's nothing wrong with them". I haven't been back since then.

I haven't even told my T. about this because it just sounds so....stupid. The reason I'm writing about this is because I can hardly hear right now, my ears are itching and hurting and I can't stand it. Someone please give me some suggestions on what to do.

BTW....I really feel stupid for starting this thread, but this really is driving me crazy.

 

[krystina]

i used to think that it was a watch ticking all the time and I ended up realizing, like you , that it was my pulse to
interesting:D

 

[cherryblossom]

Firstly, don't feel stupid for starting this thread. We all have wierd and wonderful phobias and feelings. I actually commend you for being able to 'talk' to us. Well done!

My first thought would be to really persue your doctors, ask for a second opinion, get a referal to an ENT (ear, nose and throat) specialist, to be 100% sure that there isn't a physical cause for your problem.

Then seriously consider telling your T. If there is no physical cause for your symptoms, then I would imagine that it's psychological, which is where your T can help you. Reading your story about the ants, I'm not suprised that you have the issues you do. But equally, it's a long time to be suffering!

Check out a physical cause, and if there is no cause found, talk to your therapist about a psychological cause.

 

[WonderingWhy]

Jadebear,
I feel so sorry that you experienced that!!!! I was flipping out just reading about it. I can't stand ANY bugs. One funny story just yesterday. My daughterwas standing right behind me and I jumped because I thought I heard a fly buzzing and I kind of swatted in that direction, just out of reflex.
Silly me! She had her phone ringer off and on vibrate. It buzzing from the phones vibration!:oops:
She found it just Soooooo darn funny! lol
BTW I agree totally with CB make certain there is no medical cause and THEN if not discuss it with "T". Oh, one other thing, besides them just looking in your ears make sure you request a "Thorough" hearing test.
Remember if you don't ask it is rare for people to offer, especially if it means more work for them!!!!
Take care and I just have to say about THAT experience; EWWWWWWWWWWWW!!:eek: lol

 

[jadebear]

I have been thoroughly checked out, there's nothing physically wrong with my ears. And I have been to many different doctors. When the last one I went to told me "just stop worrying about your ears, leave them alone, there's nothing wrong with them", I realized it's just in my head.

I guess I was hoping someone could tell me how to work through it. Like some sort of exposure therapy or something....anything to keep from feeling like I have ants in my ears.

 

[WonderingWhy]

I have one idea. Maybe one last trip to an ENT. Call and ask 1st if they have the Otoscope (think that's what it is called) that shows what it sees on a computer screen, or maybe can take a picture to print out.

Maybe? Just maybe? Seeing with YOUR own eyes that there is nothing in there might be easier for your mind to accept. Just a thought.

Of course definitely talk to your T about it.

Good Luck