I haven't read all posts, and I'm not qualified, even though I have PTSD, to answer with a Yes/No response.
One person who is professional and respected, although, also not an expert in the subject, claims that C-PTSD is real, and that it takes a variety of predictable forms or "types" that can overlap and alternate:
Fight Types
Flight Types
Freeze Types
Fawn Types
Each type is united by having, as he says, an Overly-Strong "Inner Critic," which is a continuation of neglect and abuse from the caregivers in that person's childhood. As a result, the sufferer has not learned how to diminish the inner critic and instead has had to try to remain one step ahead of or numb it out with the four dominant methods listed above. All are well-intended people but may not come off that way.
I can say that I have done it all, but I see a tendency to act FLIGHT in my entire extended family, with times of the others thrown in. It is actually GOOD, Walker says, to see oneself in all the above because it means you have more "tools in your arsenal" and can turn these around into positives with therapy and awareness.
Flight Type CPTSD individuals usually get mis-diagnosed (Dx'd) as OCD and tend toward workaholism and perfectionism. They have high burn out. Doing, doing, doing. They can be too busy working to notice others' emotions and may overlook feelings of others unintentionally. Stoic.
Fight Types have the most vocal Inner Critic. They are constantly hearing criticism in their minds, and they project it on others. Sound familiar? This can take the form of lectures, criticisms, "constructive" criticism, micromanaging others, not being able to give or accept compliments. They tend to be noticed as such if more extroverted. If introverted, they inflict their negative judgments inward more than outward, but some is GOING to leak out.
Some actually get in lots of fights or arguments, pick fights, and lead to conflict in any environment they are in.
Freeze Types dissociate and numb out with distraction or daydreams or have dissociative dissorders that are very pronouced. They may be introverted and spend most of their time immersed in an art form. A hermit. They seem distant and unable to connect with people.
Fawn Types get criticized as being "co-dependent" and enablers. There is a tendency to agree with others, let bullies have their way, and be Stokholm. There is a tendency to "kill with kindness" or sugarcoat everything. Try to "Win Over" the enemy, etc.
Pete Walker notes that people with PTSD tend to get "triggered into" one of the above.
I guarantee if your spouse has this going on that she triggers into the other types when she needs to in different situations and you haven't noticed it because they seem more suited to the situation or don't affect you negatively. In other words, I challenge that there is only one thing happening in someone with PTSD but it's gone unremarked.
Examples that make sense in myself:
I go into Fawn with narcissists from over-exposure to their abuse. I have learned to notice and catch it before it gets going. I now try to manage this and use it more consciously.
I go into Freeze when I feel trapped with a cue of my trauma, which is typical of how mammals response to being trapped with a predator, and how this response to a trauma cue evolves. I now note it and try to not let myself dissociate by actively speaking or journaling what is going on versus numbing out.
I go into Fight when Activated in PTSD triggers, and caffeine, exercise, high blood pressure, etc, will definitely get me into FIGHT type versus the other types faster. I have been guilty of lecturing and criticizing my spouse, and then hating myself for it but being too triggered to apologize because I felt under threat. (I have since learned it's "me" not him, and nip it in the bud or immediately apologize, walk away and calm myself, etc.) I still mess up though, but it's far less frequent, and he let's me know, and I use my stress-management techniques, and I do "better" to work through the trigger. Not perfect, not cured.
I go into Flight type daily. This one is so hard for me as my dominant response to the traumatic life I've led so far. I honestly need a lot of work in this area. I probably catch myself "stressing" and "rushing" toward some idealized perfection about 30 times a day, and have to talk myself out of it and to "slow down" and be okay with mediocre results to be "realistic" etc. It sucks.
Hope this is helpful to someone. I know it's a lot to summarize a whole book, and not everyone is behind Pete Walker.
