healingnow123
New Here
Hey! Just wanted to post an intro. Maybe someone can relate. Yeah, childhood was unbearable. It was so confusing, painful, stressful, infuriating, depressing, shameful, exhausting, unbearable. And then college left me so disappointed (had to switch to an easy degree, due to lack of focus) and then after graduating (and being distracted from an unhealthy relationship) realized I had very little options and would make little money. It was an extremely depressing wake up call. Made me think that I had ruined my life, and my future looked so bleak and depressing. I really didn't want to be poor. That was incredibly depressing to me. TBH this led to me not wanting to live anymore. I felt like I had worked so hard and had been let down so badly. But... God woke me up. Specifically, He used testimonies of hell to help me wake up and stop thinking so much about worldly success and comfort/stability from money.
Most of all I was upset about the housing options I could afford and the lack of ability to afford travel.
There's more to the story, and I'm still struggling with addiction (sugar, alcohol, scrolling on phone, binging shows). But I have started asking myself how I'm doing, and inviting all "parts" of myself to speak each day (which is a trick I recently relearned in an internal family systems therapy book). But yeah, i currently drink too much but am able to hold down a job. I am praying for more healing and I think I should join AA. Not sure. I thought I could just drink to try to unleash some hidden trauma and cry it away, but it's been a year of drinking almost every day in excess. And from recent bloodwork it seems like my liver is showing some signs of issues. Irregular levels of some sort, relating to liver function. Yeah, it's also just not helping that much.
What actually helps is talking to myself and asking how I'm doing and if there's something from memories that I'd like to address, like King David spoke to his soul in the book of Psalms. I feel like I'm a bad witness in some ways, and I hope this post doesn't cause anyone to falter. I would really appreciate prayer if any Christians see this. I also am more certain that it's important for me to join AA or ACoA group.
Most of all I was upset about the housing options I could afford and the lack of ability to afford travel.
There's more to the story, and I'm still struggling with addiction (sugar, alcohol, scrolling on phone, binging shows). But I have started asking myself how I'm doing, and inviting all "parts" of myself to speak each day (which is a trick I recently relearned in an internal family systems therapy book). But yeah, i currently drink too much but am able to hold down a job. I am praying for more healing and I think I should join AA. Not sure. I thought I could just drink to try to unleash some hidden trauma and cry it away, but it's been a year of drinking almost every day in excess. And from recent bloodwork it seems like my liver is showing some signs of issues. Irregular levels of some sort, relating to liver function. Yeah, it's also just not helping that much.
What actually helps is talking to myself and asking how I'm doing and if there's something from memories that I'd like to address, like King David spoke to his soul in the book of Psalms. I feel like I'm a bad witness in some ways, and I hope this post doesn't cause anyone to falter. I would really appreciate prayer if any Christians see this. I also am more certain that it's important for me to join AA or ACoA group.