Relationship Need Advice, Support - Please!

[Deleted member 25222]

Hi all. My husband suffers from PTSD r/t childhood abuse/neglect. We've been renovating our house tying to sell it to leave town, cut ties with his family and start anew somewhere else. His therapy hasn't been helping and his therapist has kind of given up on him as he puts it and agrees the best thing for him is to move away from all of this. He's currently unmedicated, except for some anxiety medication he had left over from a while back.

His panic attacks are getting much more severe and frequent. I know he's really losing his shit/lost his shit and I don't know how to help. When I ask him about making a MD appt to get anxiety medication he tells me no. He's to the point where he's going to up and leave or threatens to kill him self. I know he's at rock bottom and I'm at a loss as to how to help. I've tried asking my parents for help, but I don't think they get the severity of it. I'm trying to get us out of our house as quickly as possible, which still isn't quick enough, or just pack our shit and go before it sells and leave it in a realtor's hands.

When he has really bad panic attacks he does yell/stay stuff I know he doesn't mean and we realized the other day when this happens, it just retriggers him because he doesn't want to be saying the things he says and it makes him feel worse. I've been trying to remove myself from the room when this starts, because I know nothing I say will help and I know he can't reason or think logically in that state. I know he sees no future right now and is struggling to exist in the present, while constantly being pulled to the past.

But has anybody else been through this struggle while trying to move someplace else? Anyone have any advice on how I can help/support him? We've talked about him going ahead where we plan on moving, but this doesn't necessarily work d/t finance and the distance we plan on moving.

Thoughts/suggestions??

 

[scout86]

My first thought is that he needs a better therapist. Have YOU talked to his therapist?

You know, sometimes, like it or not, things escalate to the point where a person needs to be hospitalized, for their own good. It's not the answer to all the world's problems, but sometimes it's the short term answer to an emergency,

One way or another, it sounds like he needs help and this is way beyond the level where you're going to be able to deal with it yourself. My best guess is that having him move on ahead, by himself, isn't a good solution, even if you can afford it. This really sounds like something you need professional help with. If his current therapist doesn't know what to do, they should at least be able to help find someone who does.

I wish I could be more help. Maybe someone else can come up with better ideas.

 

[KwanYingirl]

I have moved many times I have CPTSD. It is very irritating dealing with realtors and getting the house staged to sell. Then there's the stress of not knowing anything about where I'm going to be. Change is really hard for me.

Sounds like he's flooding with emotions and not doing anything to manage it. Suggest he take a vacation from thinking about his PTSD. Then when the anxiety rises remind him to get grounded and relax. This is now the past is not happening. He is an adult and he can choose who he mingles with. Sounds like family is a major trigger. He's just got too much stress."

Screaming at people or threatening them is grounds for divorce. Nothing gets accomplished by acting that way. It only gives him regret and you lose trust in him.

I hope your house sells fast. Mines been on the market for three months and not one offer yet.