Small Idea But May Be Useful
Hi Pixie,
Sometimes when I read things like you have written I feel sad--sad because of what happened to you and that you must live with such things inside your head and for how scared you were being so young and seeing such things. At a young age we know enough that what we see is not right but we don't know how to speak about it or process it so it makes sense. These horrible things take away our innocence and remain like some viral infection in our bodies ready to pop up when triggered.
A small but potent thing came to mind when I read your post. I had a therapist for a long time who I saw off and on for many years and she was the one who diagnosed my PTSD. She herself was a child-victim of sexual abuse. She got it, made the connections. When I was in her office and a panic attack would occur or a flashback would happen she did a simple act one day--she placed a heavy, glass paperweight in my trembling hands. I didn't know why, but I started to focus on it, the smoothness and weight of it. I began to turn it over, feel it and somehow something that simple pulled me back to reality. When I asked her why, she said that often times a "real" object was a connection to the here and now--something outside ourselves to attend to. It worked and continues to. She also taught me that even taking my feet out of my shoes and making contact with the hardness and texture of the ground or floor could make a connection and yield similar results. She taught me to self-talk, to remind myself that "I'm here in my home, it's 2009 and I am safe." To this day, I carry an object with me--a smooth seashell a friend gave me or a coin I had made into a pendant for when I feel panicky or disconnected. Something like this may or may not work but it might help sometimes.
It's a tiny thing but it made a difference for me. I hope it may make even a small one for you for what it's worth.
Gina
Hi Pixie,
Sometimes when I read things like you have written I feel sad--sad because of what happened to you and that you must live with such things inside your head and for how scared you were being so young and seeing such things. At a young age we know enough that what we see is not right but we don't know how to speak about it or process it so it makes sense. These horrible things take away our innocence and remain like some viral infection in our bodies ready to pop up when triggered.
A small but potent thing came to mind when I read your post. I had a therapist for a long time who I saw off and on for many years and she was the one who diagnosed my PTSD. She herself was a child-victim of sexual abuse. She got it, made the connections. When I was in her office and a panic attack would occur or a flashback would happen she did a simple act one day--she placed a heavy, glass paperweight in my trembling hands. I didn't know why, but I started to focus on it, the smoothness and weight of it. I began to turn it over, feel it and somehow something that simple pulled me back to reality. When I asked her why, she said that often times a "real" object was a connection to the here and now--something outside ourselves to attend to. It worked and continues to. She also taught me that even taking my feet out of my shoes and making contact with the hardness and texture of the ground or floor could make a connection and yield similar results. She taught me to self-talk, to remind myself that "I'm here in my home, it's 2009 and I am safe." To this day, I carry an object with me--a smooth seashell a friend gave me or a coin I had made into a pendant for when I feel panicky or disconnected. Something like this may or may not work but it might help sometimes.
It's a tiny thing but it made a difference for me. I hope it may make even a small one for you for what it's worth.
Gina
