Thankfully, my boyfriend is amazing and treats me wonderfully. Still, on my bad days I can be really mean to myself and hate myself. I've been with him a year, and have only just begun internalizing the messages. I think my beliefs would change much more quickly if I weren't undoing his positive messages with negative ones. I have often basic difficulty being nice to myself internally, so I'm just trying to figure out how to do that.
I don't mean reverse in that sense. Right now, my mind is still sustaining negative attacks and after-effects of abuse. Yesterday I was just diagnosed with a new autoimmune disorder. It's like my body understands that I've been rejected and rejects me itself. My belief is that if I am very kind to myself, that will yield a protective measure and slow and/or lessen the progress of the effects, just as social support does. My guess is that of two people suffering abuse, the one that is kind to themselves will be slightly less likely to get x condition later in life. They will more quickly be able to lose their negative beliefs about themselves and form positive ones, and to mitigate the effects of abuse on their life as much as possible in other ways. I don't want to merely cope with negative messages. I want to give myself so many positive messages that they become what I believe. I do have a therapist. We're working on some more pressing issues right now, which is why I asked here.
I am mindful of how I treat my body, but I am not kind to it. Right now, I have a ton of pain in my wrist, and yet am typing away, ignoring it. It doesn't seem important to me. Any idea of what might make me believe it's more important/ that I should care about my pain?
