Help regulating myself

SeekingAfrica

Diamond Member
Hi!
I made a HUGE mistake. I had low funds and as I'm just now starting to finally work since crashing back at my parents... I allowed myself to think I'm doing better enough. And as a result, thinking I can be ok and chill only buying half dose of my meds. Even without the m9ney I should have taken just 2 pills daily of the low dose for 2 weeks until I can buy another box.

I had all deadlines postponed payments wise and took care of myself until I was ready to work. So I thought I'd be okay.

But payments are coming up from next week and I needed to work lots this and next week.

...and every day this week I've been more depressed. I'm teaching on Saturday, my brother is visiting Sunday and it will get even more crowded here... I can't feel how I feel. For a first time since end of August I woke up wanting to disappear again. I'm correcting the meds, took 2 today to get my prescription dose from today, until I can afford a doctor, I'll have enough pills for 2 weeks or so...



How do I improve my hormonal balance in the meantime? I won't get better if I don't work and earn enough to meet my deadlines and get myself to a doctor. So how do I help myself these 2 weeks?
 
color me clueless on the meds angle. i've used them, but not enough to feel dependent on them.

but for maintaining a functional balance during chaotic eras, i work to move in very small steps --less is more-- and to be gentle with myself and patient with the process. it took allot of people working against one another to create these compound. i'll need more than a medical consultation to heal them.

easy does it. small steps, big faith and lots of prayer.
 
@arfie I respect your decision about meds and hope you do the same. Having one of those days I'm even too anxious for a forum, I edited my response 3 times.

I still really love your response though, for some reason your words felt very calming and helpful. I'll do my best.
 
Do you use social media at all @SeekingAfrica? I follow Dr Glenn Doyle who posts some lovely lovely stuff about recovery and complex trauma. He wrote something the other day about living in freeze state means learning first how to wiggle your little finger and it made me think of you.
 
I respect your decision about meds and hope you do the same.
absotively i respect your decision about the meds. i've seen them work wonders in people's lives. i was confessing my ignorance. i understand the surface of jupiter far more than i understand meds.

for what it's worth
i started psychotherapy in the early 70's when my country was reeling from an epidemic of prescription drug addiction. i grew up watching some pretty sad cases, especially after they tightened the availability. the war on drugs was just gearing up and my recent escape from child prostitution made me a leader in that parade. changing the word "drugs" to "meds" in the 90's did nothing to alleviate my deeply conditioned suspicion of them. "meds" were not even offered until i was already more than 20 years into recovery. i never decided not to. it never felt like an option.
 
I hope things shook out okay. Whatever goes on for hormone levels and meds, I hope you remember to hang I through the rough patches and that better days will come.
 

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