Relationship Need Relationship Help

[remedy]

So, I've been seeing a man with PTSD...military. He is in therapy which is very helpful. He is incapable of love at this point, but is open to working towards that. I know nothing about PTSD. I'm trying to give space when needed and I am supportive, but it's hard. I don't know what I'm doing. I love him. Period. I know everyone is different, but has anyone else had this type of experience? Will he ever be able to share my feelings? I am very confused and scared. He is the greatest man I've ever known and I don't want to lose him because of my lack of knowledge.

 

[Sweetpea76]

Welcome to the forum.

A lot of us here love vets too. Unfortunately emotional numbing can be a symptom of PTSD... as well as feeling unworthy of love. Distancing and isolation can be coping mechanisms. Et cetera, et cetera, lather rinse repeat. So in other words, welcome to the roller coaster.

Learning about PTSD will help a lot. Joining this forum is a good start. It's a big help, and we have a great supporter section, and some very helpful sufferers who are always willing to give us some much needed insight.

Researching is helpful too. Here are a few great threads to help you start to get a basic understanding of PTSD.

https://www.myptsd.com/threads/the-ptsd-cup-explanation.13737/

https://www.myptsd.com/threads/stressor-vs-trigger-what-is-a-trigger.9903/

Also, I can recommend a few helpful books to get you started...

The Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Relationship: How to Support Your Partner and Keep Your Relationship Healthy by Diane England is what we call "The Bible" around here. It is a great first book for understanding PTSD as a supporter. It also has great sections on communication and conflict resolution. To go with it, I also recommend Shock Waves: A Practical Guide to Living with a Loved One's PTSD by Cynthia Orange. That book is more about supporter self care.

It is possible to have a healthy PTSD relationship. It just takes some work, patience, and understanding on both partners' parts.

 

[Sighs]

Hi and welcome!

I second @Sweetpea76 - its a hell of a roller coaster. My question to you is: are you prepared for the fact that he may never improve from where he is now? Because waiting around for a relationship to get better is soul destroying. Pretty early in my relationship with my vet he said to me: This is me. This is as good as it gets. If you want out, then go, because you can't fix me. Nearly 3 years later we're still together - some days its hanging by a thread but...

Hugs if you accept them.

 

[Cavegirl]

Welcome! You'll find a lot of support here.

It helps knowing you aren't alone.

Things didn't work out with me and my Marine, but I still like being on here for support. I'm a sufferer as well.