Childhood Needing A 'cuddly'

[Lucycat]

I have hesitated to write this because it sounds daft. But recently I read about it elsewhere and wonder if I am not the only one?

I have a piece of fabric that I cuddle. Just as a small child has a special blankie or similar, I have this wonderfully soft bit of material that I wrap around my neck and snuggle into my face every night when I go to sleep.

I used it for years then managed to put it away. I hid it from myself, but Rory found it and took it out. Immediately I have started using it again. It is really comforting.

It is not from my childhood - it is actually Rory's PJ trousers! That is why, when he found them, he got them out of the cupboard. But I won't let him wear them - he has plenty of others so these special ones can be for me.

The place where I read about the adult use of a cuddly was in a book all about Borderline Personality Disorder. It is a recognised feature of the condition. I guess I should not be surprised by that as we have heard so many times of the overlap/confusion between CPTSD and BPD.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

I sleep with a stuffed animal. I carry it in my car on days that I am really struggling. When my class had pajama day and the students got to bring in stuffed animals, I got to bring mine in and that was great. Mostly I have it because of a young alter, but truthfully, I like it, too. It comes to therapy with me.

 

[Seagreen]

Thanks for sharing that Lucycat, its not daft at all! I used to sleep with my daughters hat under my pillow. I also cuddle a pillow to sleep.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I'm cracking up at cuddling with something being a borderline trait! What's next, if we are adults who have toys then we have some other disorder!?!? Hahaha every gamer would be "disordered"!! Oh wait lets go one step further, no cuddling with a pet or person cuz that makes you borderline too! I swear, some of these books are written by idiots. Human touch is a NEED so a substitution means we have a personality disorder? Craziness.

Yeah, I have a bear. Better than some guy who I have to beg for cuddles. Lmao.

 

[Faolán]

I don't think it sounds daft at all. I also sleep with stuffed animals, makes me feel more comfortable in a way :)

 

[StarChild]

Dear Lucycat, first off, this isn't daft at all. - I never had a cuddly, but instead I had tons of cuddly toys. And especially some favorite teddy bears. I'm going (sloooowly) towards 50, and still have a teddy bear when I go to sleep. However, one of my two small dogs really doesn't like it, when I hug my teddy bear at night. This little lad then starts to whimper constantly and tries again and again to push his head into the crook of my arm. And sometimes he even pushes the teddy bear out of the bed with his head, then returns to me and snuggles up as close as he can...

Enjoy your "cuddly", it sounds really very comforting. :tup:

 

[digger]

I don't think it's daft. I'm not convinced that it's particularly 'disordered' either. Is that because it's assumed that 'normal' adults would look for comfort from different sources? Or that they don't have a need for comfort?

I have a bear, that is actually from childhood but only got returned to me a few years ago (my son borrowed it for a while ;)). I do use it at times when there is a lot of the little digger stuff going on.
I'll also wear things that I like the texture of when I need to. Stuff that is soft, or I can snuggle into. And I have blankets for the same reason. And will quite often hold something or touch something to my face to help get to sleep or calm me down.

 

[bluebird]

I have a toy-cat (and also a real cat, who lives in my parents' house). I often cuddle the stuffed one when I go to sleep (and even the real one, if he wants to sleep in my bed), especially when I am nervous...Sometimes, I wear shirts that belongs to my good friends, to feel something warm and soft. It makes me feel - somehow - safer. I do not think there is anything wrong with that.

 

[Lucycat]

I sleep with a stuffed animal.

I used to sleep with my daughters hat under my pillow.

I don't think it sounds daft at all.

this isn't daft at all

I'm not convinced that it's particularly 'disordered' either.

I do use it at times when there is a lot of the little digger stuff going on.

I do not think there is anything wrong with that.

Thanks to all of you, for saying how normal and common this is.
I think my concern is that I do exhibit inappropriate childish behaviour ( like tantrums and feet stamping) at times and rather thought this might be in the same bracket. It is reassuring to see so many variations on the theme. I wish I had written this post months ago instead of worrying about it. I had it lined up to ask T when I next see him, but I will cross it off the list now.

 

[RussH]

I child uses a blanket as a physical sense of security. I would be very surprised that an adult who was traumatized as a child did not have similar article they use for a sense of security.
I know when I am triggered I like to cuddle with my dog for that same sense of security and safety.

 

[Friday]

I'm with @Solara on this one. Almost every single adult I know of has "something" they sleep with (including a few who use other people as their lovey). <grin> That's my personal favorite. Just not my only option.

Little kids all (most) have 'loveys'. Common knowledge. But when my son was at Children's, I learned every kid there had something special that they loved on/ comforted them. Each and every single one. Most brought from home (some substituted / given something by staff), and a wide array of objects. Mostly blankets and stuffed toys and books. Some quirkier ones : a whisk, a pair of dog tags, and a set of handcuffs. These were mostly neurotypical kids. And not just wee ones, but a whole lotta teenagers. Talking with other parents & staff made me curious... So I posed the question on an active parenting forum. Yep. Everyone's kids / teens had loveys. They just quit taking them to school / dragging them about between preschool and elementary school. But most still had them up through college. And most of the parents on the forum fessed up to having their own loveys. Some were their spouses. Others a piece of special jewelry, or pillow, or toy/blanket/etc. their child had loved on, or, or, or. Including some who still sucked their thumb, or chewed on hair. Okay. So in a slightly biased sampling of a few thousand people, (kids and parents) the result was "almost everyone".

In the military, we slept with our weapons. I cannot even begin to describe how pissed off I used to be to have to climb into my bag, in effing snow and slush, with a cold ass barrel of a freaking big rifle (240golf is not a small weapon). Until I used it for the first time. Wuv. Twoo wuv. Sweet little blessed darlin. C'mere sweetness. Come snuggle with mama.

 

[Namenotdiagnosis]

I have a small pillow that I have to hold the end of whilst I sleep, it's been all over the world with me!!!! I luv it and would feel so lost without it and if that makes me weird then I'm happy to have that title!! As long as I have it with me to help me sleep.