Needing Options Other Than This

[Seagreen]

Hi Justmehere,

I read you post earlier and wanted to reply but had to go to work (different time zone here). I just wanted you to know that I was thinking about you all day and wishing I could offer you some confront.

Although I'm fairly new to the forum I can see that you are one of the highly valued members of the community. You are always there to share your knowledge and support others when they need it. I can see that there are many people here who appreciate and genuinely care about you. We will all be here holding your hand during this difficult time.

Your mother is obviously very troubled. I hope you don't believe you have done anything to deserve her cruel treatment toward you.

I'm glad that talking with your therapist has given you some relief although I know you are still finding it hard. She is right not to offer a quick fix as it is a pathway which we must all take to heal. We are all here on our own pathways in various stages of our journeys. Sometimes the road is rough and sometimes it is smooth. Remember that every rough patch will pass.

I really wish I could give you a hug and tell you that everything will be ok. Instead a message just to let you know that I am thinking of you.

Take good care of yourself

 

[Tanishq]

@Justmehere I know I am repeating this message just as others said it here. From my side, I really want to say because I mean it, your therapist is the best and right help you need at the moment.

Please never resort to quick fixes because over the years I have learned quick fixes don't have any effect on ptsd healing. Honestly, I tried gazillion quick fixes and all failed. We need long fixes because our wounds are very deep then we can imagine practically.

I am glad for you that you have this therapist help.

Your family is very cruel, not the treatment you deserve. I think they hold some grudges toward you and let out the frustration on you, very low of them. This might be reason of stopping the talk suddenly. I understand you get boggled by their sudden stop. No doubt, you get boggled because you cared about them and you thought of them, very nice of you. Now you are away from them, on the path healing.

You are very good human being. I don't know why, but I feel proud of you as I say this. It's good to meet really good soul.

 

[greenleaf]

@Justmehere -- another reason to work on thinking of good people like your T as your *real* family... A lot of the time, it seems to me at least, entrenchedly abusive folks will get even more abusive if they sense that you are making progress, becoming able to see what they are doing more honestly... If you are a scapegoat for them, they would not want you to be stronger because that might threaten their twisted coping mechanisms where they dump bad feelings on you. However, we on this website do want you to become stronger! Your T wants you to become stronger!! We all do value you very much. Your family can go get themselves a stuffed toy scapegoat if they don't have the strength to deal with their issues honestly.

So, to get support while healing, you really need to be around healthier folks than your blood family. Can you tell yourself that you are taking a temporary break from them while you are working on healing? It doesn't have to mean totally forever but I hope you can get healthier supports in place more firmly and only contact them once you have firm other support. Working on connections with healthier folks is a very slow process for all of us, your T is a great person to focus on though for now because she is trained in how to be helpful to you.

 

[sun seeker]

Justmehere, it sounds like you have a wonderful therapist. I'm glad of that. If anyone can help you get through this, it sounds like she can.

It was so significant when you said you are realizing how mean and how wrong your family is, instead of blaming yourself. That's a huge step, even though it's a painful one. Remember to give yourself some credit for that.

What you are feeling about separating from an abusive family is resonating so much with what I am going through, and your therapist's comments are giving me things to think about regarding how I want to approach my own situation. Thank you so much for sharing. I'm glad you are here.