Yes I agree so much with this - I am really clingy. I have a best friend who really knows what I am like and still (amazingly!) says he adores me. But we have an odd relationship where he takes the lead and some people tell me that it appears that he controls me but it is all my making because I demand this of him and I constantly have to explain this to people. I want to be protected and looked after and I don't want to make decisions because it scares me that they appear to go wrong - this is completely the PTSD because it was a wrong decision that got me into the mess I ended up in.
I am very lucky that he doesn't mind this about me and although he reminds me that the world doesn't just revolve around me, he is usually very caring and a real dear friend, probably the closest I have got to any kind of relationship for over 20 years. I must admit it was very hard at first as we argued constantly - he didn't understand me and I didn't understand about men at all!! lol (mind you that is quite usual I believe!) I have never been intimate with a guy (childhood abuse omitting) and the great thing about my best friend is that he just lets me hug him. He knows I treat him like a surrogate boyfriend but only moans about it on occasions - usually he just lets me get on with it and he is so patient because like you said, I can be so clingy and demanding and that's without the constant abuse of "You didn't really mean that did you?"
I think it is very hard to have a successful relationship because even I feel it's not fair on the other person. I feel really bad at times; then because I don't know how to make things better, I end up buying him stuff he doesn't really want. He has even worked this out as a way of me apologising and tells me when I have upset him that he doesn't want a million 'Sorry, you hate me' text messages or letters/card/sweets/chocolate etc and that a few hours alone will generally chill him out again.
I also agree with the above statement - because I know my personality isn't the best, I tend to spend too much or do everything for them, even to my own detriment. But to me it's worth it to have someone close in my life that puts up with me. It's a double edged sword really, isn't it?
I am very lucky that he doesn't mind this about me and although he reminds me that the world doesn't just revolve around me, he is usually very caring and a real dear friend, probably the closest I have got to any kind of relationship for over 20 years. I must admit it was very hard at first as we argued constantly - he didn't understand me and I didn't understand about men at all!! lol (mind you that is quite usual I believe!) I have never been intimate with a guy (childhood abuse omitting) and the great thing about my best friend is that he just lets me hug him. He knows I treat him like a surrogate boyfriend but only moans about it on occasions - usually he just lets me get on with it and he is so patient because like you said, I can be so clingy and demanding and that's without the constant abuse of "You didn't really mean that did you?"
I think it is very hard to have a successful relationship because even I feel it's not fair on the other person. I feel really bad at times; then because I don't know how to make things better, I end up buying him stuff he doesn't really want. He has even worked this out as a way of me apologising and tells me when I have upset him that he doesn't want a million 'Sorry, you hate me' text messages or letters/card/sweets/chocolate etc and that a few hours alone will generally chill him out again.
I also agree with the above statement - because I know my personality isn't the best, I tend to spend too much or do everything for them, even to my own detriment. But to me it's worth it to have someone close in my life that puts up with me. It's a double edged sword really, isn't it?
