- Post starter
- #13
O
Ollie
The psychiatrist I seen didn't really listen to me I felt, I didn't get chance to explain myself to him but no one else could help because no one else in my area knows of this illness as I was suffering terribly,
I have seen 2 therapists on the NHS both could not help or even understood my symptoms and said I need to see a neurologist - i had one I started paying private to see he also said he couldn't help after 2 sessions and i needed to see a neurologist, seen a neuro he couldn't help,
What I don't understand is if this is dissocation disorder what happened to me that night my body trembled and it felt like my mind and body shut down because it's that night that's left me like this I've never recovered. I'm stuck feeling like the way I changed that night and the fact I'm stuck in that state is the reason I'm experiencing everything I do and feel, i never cognitive or perceptionly feel like I did all my life,
With dissocation do you feel yourself then experience dissocation episodes then return back to yourself because my problem is chronic and I deal with it the best I can. Its as if there's been like a alteration in my brain I felt it happen intact - big tremor! A snap feeling in my head! And a instant perception alteration! Stuck feeling in this state not episodes, In 3 years I've felt like this i don't experience how i cognitively and perceptionly feel like i did before that night, now it's this alteration that's making my life he'll to be in my body because the way i feel cognitively now is...i can't learn anything new or so it feels, when feeling my worst it physically hurts to try to process information or trying to remember so the trying part creates sharp head pains all in the back of my head down my spine and in my stomach, when I feel cognitive at my best which is I would say 70% at best and if I try to concentrate this can be a conversation, watching TV, doing a jigsaw with my 4 year old all the front of my head tenses up and my perception goes "inwards" or so it feels like all the blood goes to the front of my head it tenses up it hurts I go dizzy then all the back of my head goes heavy and this is where I'm left in pain if I try to access memories, awareness, I lose my awareness the awareness you automatically feel when your aware you have to pick the children up from school or you've just won the lottery!!! That awareness the awareness of where you just been or come from! But the longer I keep going the worse it gets the tender my head goes the more sensations I get down my spine the more my legs go numb,then my face goes mt speech goes, if feels like all my cognitive power without any control goes to my conscious mind and that's how I'm stuck then unless I lie on my back lie down and I feel all the back of my head coming back online, that's how it feels to me like my cognition has altered so I'm perceptionly stuck only able to use my conscious mind that's why it tenses up straight away, why I struggle with to much as my conscious mind can't process it so It tenses up straight away as I'm stuck with all my cognitive perception in this part of my brain, sounds crazy but that's how it feels to me. It's driving me insane!! I know how I use to feel and be able to cognitively perform and it all altered that night,
This is the worrying part I can only get to 70%
I've had no other diagnosis I'm not even sure that this is a accurate one this is why I'm here looking for people that suffer with this diagnosis to compare symptoms then i can try look at other avenues -
Trying to put posts together is hard for me as I lose track of were I'm up to my head tenses up the back of my head shuts down I lose short term memory so I lose were I'm up to,
Why would it hurt thinking? Why would it hurt concentrating, I can't take anything in it hurts to start at someone and listen to them and withing about 10 seconds I can't take no more information in so struggle to follow instructions.
Look i really appreciate your time and I appreciate your help and advice - maybe I have more than one issue going on maybe why it's so bad for my brain I don't know,
What i do know what ever happened to me that night has also effected my breathing when I sleep as I instantly stop breathing again it's like my brain can't subconsciously breath for me why I feel like all my mind power Is stuck in the front of my head so the back of my head feels dull and dead it burns but I know this is the reason I don't breath when I drift off. I think it's central sleep apnea but this illness is caused by the brain stem damage so maybe just maybe I have a brain stem issue that's caused that night i fell ill and maybe why I suffer now. I have to now use a bi pap machine that breathes for me other wise i get severe hypoxia, but this come after that night it's not the sleep apnea causing the other issues.
I have seen 2 therapists on the NHS both could not help or even understood my symptoms and said I need to see a neurologist - i had one I started paying private to see he also said he couldn't help after 2 sessions and i needed to see a neurologist, seen a neuro he couldn't help,
What I don't understand is if this is dissocation disorder what happened to me that night my body trembled and it felt like my mind and body shut down because it's that night that's left me like this I've never recovered. I'm stuck feeling like the way I changed that night and the fact I'm stuck in that state is the reason I'm experiencing everything I do and feel, i never cognitive or perceptionly feel like I did all my life,
With dissocation do you feel yourself then experience dissocation episodes then return back to yourself because my problem is chronic and I deal with it the best I can. Its as if there's been like a alteration in my brain I felt it happen intact - big tremor! A snap feeling in my head! And a instant perception alteration! Stuck feeling in this state not episodes, In 3 years I've felt like this i don't experience how i cognitively and perceptionly feel like i did before that night, now it's this alteration that's making my life he'll to be in my body because the way i feel cognitively now is...i can't learn anything new or so it feels, when feeling my worst it physically hurts to try to process information or trying to remember so the trying part creates sharp head pains all in the back of my head down my spine and in my stomach, when I feel cognitive at my best which is I would say 70% at best and if I try to concentrate this can be a conversation, watching TV, doing a jigsaw with my 4 year old all the front of my head tenses up and my perception goes "inwards" or so it feels like all the blood goes to the front of my head it tenses up it hurts I go dizzy then all the back of my head goes heavy and this is where I'm left in pain if I try to access memories, awareness, I lose my awareness the awareness you automatically feel when your aware you have to pick the children up from school or you've just won the lottery!!! That awareness the awareness of where you just been or come from! But the longer I keep going the worse it gets the tender my head goes the more sensations I get down my spine the more my legs go numb,then my face goes mt speech goes, if feels like all my cognitive power without any control goes to my conscious mind and that's how I'm stuck then unless I lie on my back lie down and I feel all the back of my head coming back online, that's how it feels to me like my cognition has altered so I'm perceptionly stuck only able to use my conscious mind that's why it tenses up straight away, why I struggle with to much as my conscious mind can't process it so It tenses up straight away as I'm stuck with all my cognitive perception in this part of my brain, sounds crazy but that's how it feels to me. It's driving me insane!! I know how I use to feel and be able to cognitively perform and it all altered that night,
This is the worrying part I can only get to 70%
I've had no other diagnosis I'm not even sure that this is a accurate one this is why I'm here looking for people that suffer with this diagnosis to compare symptoms then i can try look at other avenues -
Trying to put posts together is hard for me as I lose track of were I'm up to my head tenses up the back of my head shuts down I lose short term memory so I lose were I'm up to,
Why would it hurt thinking? Why would it hurt concentrating, I can't take anything in it hurts to start at someone and listen to them and withing about 10 seconds I can't take no more information in so struggle to follow instructions.
Look i really appreciate your time and I appreciate your help and advice - maybe I have more than one issue going on maybe why it's so bad for my brain I don't know,
What i do know what ever happened to me that night has also effected my breathing when I sleep as I instantly stop breathing again it's like my brain can't subconsciously breath for me why I feel like all my mind power Is stuck in the front of my head so the back of my head feels dull and dead it burns but I know this is the reason I don't breath when I drift off. I think it's central sleep apnea but this illness is caused by the brain stem damage so maybe just maybe I have a brain stem issue that's caused that night i fell ill and maybe why I suffer now. I have to now use a bi pap machine that breathes for me other wise i get severe hypoxia, but this come after that night it's not the sleep apnea causing the other issues.
