Military New Criterion A trauma.

[LuckiLee]

My guy has gone through another traumatic event 2 days ago. He's safe. However, he wasn't able to help or change the outcome.

He came home that day and was all hyper and chatty. I knew something was up. I let him talk. He told me everything leading up to the event. Every small detail. He finally gets to the trauma and again explains every detail. It all went down in seconds. But a lot went down in those few seconds.

I'm keeping communication open. And not going to let him self medicate (his go to) other than that what should I do as a supporter?

I can handle triggers and stressors but new trauma?? I'm not so sure.

xo

 

[Ecdysis]

Are you sure he's traumatised by it? Experiencing a Crit A event doesn't necessarily = trauma.

If he only experienced it a couple of days ago, it's probably too early too tell. He may just be in "shock".

Maybe skills he has learned so far will help him process this Crit A event in a way that makes it a difficult event but not a traumatic one?

 

[Sideways]

what should I do as a supporter?

Be guided by him, and certainly for me? Keep things as normal as possible. Usual routines in particular. The world is still the same place it was yesterday.

If you give him the space to talk if he wants to, then you’re already being incredibly helpful.

 

[Friday]

New stuff, for me, doesn’t register… exactly.

It brings up old stuff… in spades.

Or? Is. Just. Relaxing. As. All. Hell.

^^^Like when I got hit by a car a few years back (as a pedestrian); because all of my instincts? WORKED for a fawking change, and I -essentially- jumped over the damn thing. It wasn’t that sexy. I slid down the windshield and door jam, and… it just wasn’t as sexy as it sounds, jumping over a car. Promise. But? Even though I was bruised over 60% of my body, and was a bit a of grumpy “why do I hurt everywhere?!?” beast a few days later? I felt amaaaazing. Both as I sauntered off, and for roughly the next month. When that sort of thing? Used to be a daily occurance. No trouble worth mentioning. Yeah, some is us got bashed around, a bit. Whatever. New, life threatening trauma? Tapped into THAT. All is well. All is right. All is as it should be. Everyone’s breathing. Instead of the hard/bad shit.

Or? When I had to perform misc lifesaving features on someone who went ahead & died, anyway (most people who need CPR do not survive. Once your heart stops it’s really a 1:3 chance, IF someone is there to beat on you from moment 1, more like 1:8 if it’s been a minute)… I still felt… useful? Relevant? Like I mattered. A very selfish outlook on someone else’s death. I know. But simply the act of knowing what to do, and doing it. It was weirder/harder, when they lived. IDFK what that says about me. Maybe just that I’m more okay with death than life.

i don’t know if he’s going to be a hurting puppy over this, or more ‘him’ than he has been, in a long time.

Either way? Boundaries, you. Understanding sis thing brutal just happened? Only creates so much slack. Give it, but don’t give more. Be you. Always.

 

[enough]

Oops, I posted in a military header thread. I deleted but the system requires the thread to stay active, so this is it. My respect to you all

 

[LuckiLee]

It's absolutely fine @enough . I was able to read your comment and thank you for sharing!!

 

[Ecdysis]

What ended up happennig with this Crit A event @LuckiLee ? Did it cause new trauma? How did you both cope with it?