Relationship New Girlfriend Need Space

[Nicolette]

However, she did say she felt like she doesn't deserve my care or patience and that I should be with someone that is healthy and without baggage. And in the same sentence mentions that "you still being here for me means so much to me".

Ineedhelp.........you sound like a genuine and loving man. It is nice to see a man be so open and honest.

PTSD is a illness which contains what I can only describe as a 'monster' which tries to destroy the Sufferer and their life. It is brought about by guilt, trauma, badly programmed thinking responses and the constant struggle to avoid anything which could cause great emotions being both fear and happiness which cause the Sufferer stress and additional pain.

It is not uncommon for your girlfriend to not feel worthy and the anorexia is usually a form of self control by a person when they feel they can control nothing else....to an anorexic they cannot see the damage they are doing to themselves and only see beauty the skinnier they get as the satisfaction is gained from the control of being able to either starve or minimize their eating patterns as by doing so they 'win' against the body's normal needs and signs for food. It is a warped thinking pattern and it is not always driven by the desire to be thin as some think.

My advice to you..........do what you think is best, be open minded, do as you have been on and hold on tight as it can be a roller-coaster ride. You also need to consider yourself in this too and at some point, if nothing changes, you have to decide what you will or will not sacrifice. I firmly believe a relationship takes and needs more than just love and both people need to be headed in the same direction. I hope it works out for you both.

 

[Ineedhelp]

Thanks Nicolette,

Thanks for your advise. She is really having a hard time right now with her eating disorder. She indicated this today through a text message. Apparently it helps keep away the PTSD symtoms and she is "trying hard to hang in there". I responded (text message) and told her that if its bad she should get help. I also indicated if she decides to get help and wants someone to come with her I am more than willing to do so. I encouraged her to take care of herself. I feel helpless. I am not sure what do.

 

[Ineedhelp]

I am really worried about my girlfriend. I just recieved an e-mail which indicated she is really in a bad place. She is struglling with not eating and sleeping and is very depressed and too many memories. I have not seen her for over a month and assume she is very underweight. She has been hospitalized several times (9) in the past due to her eating disorder related her PTSD systoms. She does manage to make it to work, however, it is very difficult for her. Due to work and her commute she does not have time to see her nutrionist or doctor. Right now it seems she needs help and I think she is unable to get help on her own. I am having a hard time sitting back and letting her deal with everything alone.

I am considering telling her that I want to put our relationship aside for now and to think of me as a friend. A friend who wants to help her through this very difficult time. She may starve herself to death if she is left alone. I feel that she needs support during this difficult time and I can help her. From reading the several posts, they mention that the suffer need to help themself. However, it seems right now she is unable to help herself.

Should I continue to keep my distance?

 

[Cin]

Sounds like she is at crisis point and if this were any other mental health disorder, an intervention would likely take place. The fact she is starving herself is self harm. I would find it very hard in your position to sit back and do nothing. I feel for you. I have a feeling it's a damned if you do, damned if you don't scenario.