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New Guy

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29nzguy

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Hey guys just been browsing for some online forums/support groups and decided to join PTSD forum.

I'm 29, 30 in september and recently (under 2 years ago) was diagnosed with R-PTSD after I purposefully derailed my life at the time in a way that I knew would force me to lose my job meabubg I wouldnt be able to afford to live in NZ's Capital City any longer. Also the circles of social/peers I was moving among and also reckless repetitive patterns of drug/alcohol abuse would have to cease. Being prescribed antidepressants and taking a honest moment with myself, admitted that I need to try the meds because there must be a reason that since 14yrs old the Dr's on various occasions have prescribed me Antidepressants. So I decided to give them a go.

I had fallen prey to 2-3 manic breakdown episodes with loved ones/family and it was then that I realised that the meds had given me the mental capacity to front up to some of these issues and talk a little about these. I also was regularly seeing a Wellness clinic Dr & Nutritionalist to deal with my Weight issues and inability to sucessfully lose and keep off any weight. It was then that I was prescribed dietry weight loss supplements to which I realised at that moment, that that would be great to help kick start things, but mentally I realised I have a psychological block so no amount of dietry advice or meal plans / regimes will be successful unless I can undo the psychological block.

Ive spent the last 13 months waiting to be approved "cognetive or psychotherapy" sessions but in the mean time have no additional support or counselling as I wait for NZ's Sensitive claims unit to assess/approve treatment and I do not "meet - criteria" to come under the Mental Health Act / Team...

Currently I'm being traumatized by a repetitive "movie" like images replaying on a near daily bi - daily basis. My thoughts are never peaceful and relaxed (hard to empty mind), I am always in thought about one thing or another.

So while I eagerly await therapy approval etc. I have ended up resorting to my previous way of escaping my thoughts and having a empty mind even if it is only for a moment/day and chemically induced it is my only freedom / tool I currently have to do this.

<Edited for font style, grammar and readability by Amethist.>
 
Hi New,

Welcome to the forum. I feel for you re the intrusive thoughts. Many of us have them. I hope you'll keep posting and will find peace and help knowing you are not alone. Chris
 
Welcome to the forum 29nzguy. Hope you get some answers soon for the therapy. If you're feeling not too bad, take some time to read the wiki articles on PTSD, at least with some knowledge, you will be able to do some managing skills.
 
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