I've been away for a week. My therapist suggested going outside for 5 minutes and enjoying what is out there (aka desensitization therapy). OK fine. I can do this. And I keep telling myself "I am safe." That works well too.
Of course yesterday was Easter and I got home from church, tired (I'm an organist so it has been very very busy lately). I thought, phew. I'm going to go outside and enjoy the sunshine and the nice day for a few minutes before family comes for Easter dinner. Of course, I go in the back yard and while we were at church the neighbors decided to put up a hammock in the backyard.
INVASION. NEW. WARNING. ALERT ALERT ALERT. The fat ladies are going to sunbathe in the backyard. They are going to blare their music. ADRELALINE IS PUMPING. BEEP BEEP HERE WE GO>>>>>
Why does this happen to me? Why can't I ever just enjoy a day with my family without PTSD creeping in?
I DID talk to my wife about it and she was understanding. And my brother, who understands what I went through, and I had a great talk as well.
But it left me exhausted...
