New here. Need some help - triggered by therapist

[Brokenwings74]

Ive been dx with ptsd for many years. My son is also mentally ill. Due to changing states we had to get a new therapist. Our new therapist started out making innapropriate comments to my son and myself during sessions. Last friday he went way to far. I reported him and he is under investigation but i have never experienced anything like this before. What do you do when its a therapist who has triggered you? Has anyone gone through anything like this? im not sure where to from here for my son and i. Were in a dark place right now.

 

[Chris-duck]

We dont use trigger warnings here :)
And is there a reason you and your son share a therapist? Is it family therapy or something?
Outside of that, my best advice would be to find someone new (And if it's not family support, it might be better for you and your son to have different people?)
Best of luck and welcome to the forum :)

 

[Brokenwings74]

Oh we didnt do sessions together. Just same therapist cause it was more convienient. Thanks for your reply and thanks for the welcome

 

[Wendell_R]

When I was doing couple's counseling with my ex-wife, our therapist started seeing us individually. Years later, I learned from therapists that I really trust that they wouldn't do this themselves and don't recommend it. Looking back, I feel that the old therapist took advantage of me & my wife for financial gain.

When looking for new therapists, I would describe what happened with your old therapist. How the new therapist handles that, and how you feel talking that through would be a good clue to whether that person is a good fit.

I'm glad you've found the site and welcome you.

 

[Brokenwings74]

Thank you

When I was doing couple's counseling with my ex-wife, our therapist started seeing us individually. Years later, I learned from therapists that I really trust that they wouldn't do this themselves and don't recommend it. Looking back, I feel that the old therapist took advantage of me & my wife for financial gain.

When looking for new therapists, I would describe what happened with your old therapist. How the new therapist handles that, and how you feel talking that through would be a good clue to whether that person is a good fit.

I'm glad you've found the site and welcome you.

 

[Kubash16]

I wouldn’t be able to share my therapist with anyone in my family. Maybe someone more distant from me, but definitely not my mom. But on a more personal level I have some very serious problems when it comes to my mom. My therapist is willing to do family therapy and see everyone at once but he has made it clear I am his primary client and it would be a conflict of interest if someone in my family started seeing him. Plus I’m a little possessive and I really, really, really, probably unhealthily like him and want to keep him all to myself.

 

[Brokenwings74]

Ok

 

[Friday]

Triggered I wouldn’t worry about too much, the nature of discussing trauma I’m going to get triggered fairly frequently in session. That’s me overreacting and treating the present like it’s the past, and sorting that is exactly why I’m in therapy to begin with.

What it sounds like your therapist did went FAR beyond being triggered, into actual misconduct. That’s a vastly different thing.

So you’d really have 2 pieces going on, the misconduct AND being triggered by the misconduct. Detaching those 2 things from each other so that you can respond to what’s actually going on without kicking into the past? Cha. That’s crazy super hard. I don’t think I’ve ever been able to actually do it? More, being aware that’s happening allows me to limit the fallout somewhat, and plan for there being fallout. (Taking days off, blowing of added stress, scheduling fewer things and longer breaks, etc.)

 

[Teamwork]

My daughter who has autism saw my t for anxiety and one day after listening to the session with her and really feeling comfortable with him, I asked about him seeing me. He had to wrap up with her first in order to begin seeing me as it was a conflict. We dont talk about her ever now, if that makes sense. As to having to report the t, well how could you ever go back under those circumstances anyway?

 

[lynn T.]

I think it's ok to feel your displeasure. Maybe ask yourself how much time do you want to spend, given the limited energy we each have daily, on that T. as opposed to knowing it's not right for you and was a sign (helpful actually) to find someone else where you won't feel inappropriate actions or words said to you that increased your anxiety. My dear deceased mother used to tell me to pick my battles carefully. Now, in my older age, I wonder if she meant that I needed to preserve some energy for those worthwhile battles. I have had someone in the past who was less than useful as far as help and after getting out, felt tons better. In hindsight, the bad event opened my eyes to a blessing in disguise because I did move on in that particular instance.

 

[Justmehere]

Can I ask, what comments did the therapist make that were inappropriate? Who is doing the investigation?

You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to answer.

 

[Brokenwings74]

Can I ask, what comments did the therapist make that were inappropriate? Who is doing the investigation?

You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to answer.

Whoops accidently sent an empty message. Well it started out as little things. He would maje fun of my son in supposed joking. One day he asked him why he walks like he has a stick up his. In a session with me he shared explitit details about another of his clients trauma specifically saying the man who raped her was banging her head on the floor while he was f....ing her. That exact word. He had a potty mouth majorly and now that i put that down i realize those werent little things. Going back i would of cut it off long before it got bad but honestly i didnt recognize it as abuse. He kept saying being so blunt helped me face my trauma but on friday last week he told my son his bpd diagnosis must be from ongoing trauma and he looked at him and said so what is it? Are you gay? Transgender? How long have you been having sex with your uncle? My son does not have sex with his uncle!!! I feel stupid for not seeing it sooner. I reported it to the facility director and his boss. Hope this didnt trigger you

Triggered I wouldn’t worry about too much, the nature of discussing trauma I’m going to get triggered fairly frequently in session. That’s me overreacting and treating the present like it’s the past, and sorting that is exactly why I’m in therapy to begin with.

What it sounds like your therapist did went FAR beyond being triggered, into actual misconduct. That’s a vastly different thing.

So you’d really have 2 pieces going on, the misconduct AND being triggered by the misconduct. Detaching those 2 things from each other so that you can respond to what’s actually going on without kicking into the past? Cha. That’s crazy super hard. I don’t think I’ve ever been able to actually do it? More, being aware that’s happening allows me to limit the fallout somewhat, and plan for there being fallout. (Taking days off, blowing of added stress, scheduling fewer things and longer breaks, etc.)

That is well put and exactly where i am