New Member, Eager To Feel Good Again.

[A dog named chico]

Hello, My name is Keith. I am a 24 year old male from MI, and I think I have PT-SD. Almost a year ago (December 13Th) I was in a serious car accident and my life has changed drastically since. Before this I was very outgoing and extroverted, I loved my life and what I made for myself. I got married November 15Th, 2008 and it was all down hill from there.

Because of the wedding I had a falling out with my immediate family (mom and sister) this put me under a great deal of stress, couple this with the normal stress of a wedding, work and life in general it may of been to much. On the day of the accident I felt fine, in fact I was on my way to my parents home to start mending fences.

The doctors think I may of passed out due to stress(something about my brain not getting oxygen for a few seconds) and next thing I know I'm covered in glass and blood and have no idea what happened.

I was in the hospital overnight, broke all the toes on my left foot, broke two of the bones in my left foot, cuts all over my face and a three inch puncture wound to my left thigh. I still have physical pain and on bad days I have to use a cain to hobble around.

To get back on topic, I think I have PT-SD from this accident. I have noticed I have become prone angry outburst at home, i don't realize I'm doing it until it stops, and then I'm filled with more anger toward myself for getting so upset in the first place. If lets say I'm watching t.v. and see a car wreck I feel it. my heart races and I have a panic attack. Now it has evolved, if I think about any kind of trauma I go into a panic state and feel helpless.

I have tried to seek out mental help but cannot bring myself to go, I have no idea why, I know I need it. My marriage is suffering, my wife stands by me and is extremely supportive, but I feel like she could find a man who isn't damaged goods and live a better life.

Sorry for the length, I figured I should just get it all out on the table.

Thanks for reading

~>Keith

 

[amethist]

Hi Keith

Welcome to the forum, what a great place you have found to help you get your life back together.

I am sorry to hear that you and your wife are struggling with this, and I fully understand all you say.

Please for both your sakes go and get some help and an accurate diagnosis as soon as possible. Maybe some support for your wife too.

When I say I understand, it's because my husband was in a road traffic accident on a motorbike not a car though (not his fault). This is what caused his ptsd, and I found this forum back in February, whilst trying to get help for him.

He gets into a panic state too, when he recalls his accident and feels helpless.

You can both come through this together, but it is tough going and it takes a lot of strength to keep moving forward.

We had only been married a few years when this hit us, he has been to hell and back a few times. But we are still together and fighting every obstacle he comes across, and there have been quite few, nearly 3 years after the event.

Maybe your wife could join us on here too, we carers help each other and send out lifebelts whenever one of us needs it.

Good luck and take care.

amethist

 

[JohnnyM53]

Hi Keith :hello:

Welcome to the Forum and thanks for sharing some information with us.

You've been through a lot.

Although our traumas are different, I could relate to much of what you said (anger, passing out due to high levels of stress, etc.)

Your bones broke and, with the help of professional doctors, repaired themselves.

It sounds like your sense of identity has also been broken but it can self-repair itself a lot with the help of a good trauma therapist, and some of your own "psychological physio", which, as Amethist points out, needs effort and strength to move you forward.

I agree with Amethist that you should seek out whatever help and support both you and wife need.

I understand your reluctance to consult a therapist. If it's because of the fear of confronting what may seem to be very scary feelings, rest assured a good therapist will walk you through the process safely.

We're here for you. You and your wife can get through this.

You took a good step by coming to this website, so this is a very positive sign Keith!

Johnny

 

[a3a2]

Hey, Keith, it is a great first step coming here. Hopefully we can help you find the courage to find your way to a diagnosis and therapy. I look forward to seeing you on the forum.

 

[Tinyflame]

Dear Keith,

It took a lot of courage for you to post that, and even more courage to persevere each day since your accident.

Please remember that YOU are the one your wife chose, wanted and wants. I am sure you would stand by her if the situation was reversed. It is hard to see yourself of value to yourself or others when you are struggling to make sense of this, but rest assured you ARE. Don't "think" about it, just know it, remember it, and keep repeating it to yourself.

I also believe a good therapist/ help will make you feel 1000 times stronger and help you to bear this. Please don't be afraid to try, for your sake and your family's. The worst that can happen is you get some relief.

You will be able to have happiness in your life again.

Welcome to you! Keep posting and keep reading, I am sure you will find terrific support, even for what (now) seems like the most difficult and confusing and unbearable of situations.