New Member To Forum

[reddevil1111]

I am a new member to the PTSD forum. Don't know what else to say. I am in treatment for PTSD and for being abused as a child. The PTSD covers both childhood and time in the Marine Corps. 2nd BTN Intelligence MOS 0231 Served in Columbia, Panama,Honduras and the 1st gulf war.
Has anyone tried the EMDR treatments? I am being encouraged to try them.
Due to recent therapy, I had real bad flashbacks/blackouts and nightmares. Pretty intense. Never had rapid cycled multiple flashbacks all at once before.
I am only getting treatment after 35 plus year from childhood and 20 some odd years from the Marines. Has anyone else waited that long? I would love to talk with you if so.
Thanks,Dan

 

[Complicated]

Hello and welcome to the forum!

I had a 22 year gab between being abused as a child and the onset of my PTSD. I blocked the traumatic event from my mind and after my father died I started having really bad flashbacks. I did EMDR and I found it really hard, but in the end it was really worth it. When I started I was having two/three flashbacks a day and now I have one every 3 months or so.

Wishing you peace and strength,
Complicated

 

[The Albatross]

Yeah, I waited that long... I'm 51 now. I didn't start having memory retrieval on some stuff til last year. Welcome Dan.

 

[reddevil1111]

Thanks, I am glad to know I am not alone in waiting so long. I was taught to suck it up and never show weakness to anyone. Just coming in here has been a big step for me. And yet I find myself telling more to a group of strangers than what I discuss with my wife.
I even hide the fact that I am on this site when she comes around.
Thanks for the warm welcome and I hope all goes well for you both.

 

[The Albatross]

I can relate to sucking it up and never showing weakness. My dad, our abuser, taught me that... and I learned it well. It took me some pretty serious situations and some consequenses to crack that facade and working with ill and elderly people first hand to unlearn it and acknowledge that there are just some things people can't do by themselves. Glad you're here and are getting some support so you can move forward.

 

[Sazza]

Just wanted to say Welcome to the forum !!!

 

[Kim]

Hi Red,

I'm 52 and PTSD is my "normal" as I have had it for as long as I can remember. I've been in and out of counseling many times over the years but was always misdiagnosed as being depressed. I have only recently been diagnosed with PTSD/Complex Trauma.

We all learn pretty quickly to cover up what's going on with us. We can be smiling on the outside and acting like we don't have a care in the world while we're falling apart and terrified on the inside. It's a defense mechanism that we've all learned from childhood. It's what has allowed us to survive for so long. It keeps us safe.

Welcome to the forum and know that you aren't alone.

 

[Complicated]

Yes I can also relate to the "never show weakness, just suck it up and move on" thing. I also had an emmotionally abusive father that always used to blame everything on me and tell me to stop looking for attention and just move on. When I was a child I hurt my foot, I said that it really hurt and I was told to stop looking for attention. Years later I had an x-ray and I found out that I had actually broken it.

My new theory in life is that it actaully is a sign of great inner strength, and not weakness, to have the courage to discuss your problems and try to deal with them! So congratulations on having the courage to join the forum and share your experiences.

 

[hazen]

Indeed welcome to the forum reddevil. It took me 20 years to realize I had PTSD! Everyone is on their own timeline.

I hope you find help and support here... I know I have!

 

[Froggie]

Welcome reddevil1111, some of the members have had EMDR, I had another version EMO. This treatment really helped me. There were some periods that were rougher as it really brought me to the core of the problem, but man was it worth it. Between EMO and meds, I have developped a better mecanisme to put a distance between me and the flashbacks and nightmares. When I say a better mecanisme, it is not in the sense defense mecanisme, but ressource mecanisme / ability. Best of luck to you.