New Non-Veteran with PTSD

[AnjinsGal]

Hello,

I am a non-veteran with PTSD. I always thought it was a disease reserved especially for those coming back from military service until I was diagnosed with it when I was about thirteen years old. I have been reading some of the descriptions on this forum and am comforted to find that I am not alone. I have experienced both periods of progression and regression with the disorder over the past fifteen years and am slow to accept that I will most likely be a life-long sufferer. PTSD continues to affect my employment and my ability to attend college, of which I graduate next May, and don't really even know how I got this far. I have held prestigious jobs in the past with the Federal government, but as always, had to take my leave because of my severe anxiety. I don't really know if I will be able to enter the workforce sucessfully after graduation, but I will try, as I always do, to make the best of it.

My PTSD stems from years of severe abuse by both of my parents. I have been married for six years to a wonderfully stable husband who has to be a saint in order to deal with my seemingly unending issues. I often feel guilty because he has to deal with me even though he says he loves me and wants to do all he can to understand and help. He says he sees a lot of intelligence, beauty and strength in me despite my issues. I really don't know what I would do without him.

I found this forum while looking for some online support groups for people with PTSD and thought I would give this forum a try.

Thank you for having me!

 

[Sad Nicola]

Hi There

You are not alone. PTSD does not make you a bad person. In fact, as a recent sufferer I am beginning to believe that the pain we experience can make us more empathic and better people than most.

I think the emotional over-reactions we experience are unpleasant for us but can be ultimately life-enhancing. For me, it is as if I have been dead for a long time and have now come alive. The pain is at times overwhelming and I dissociate and sometimes self-harm in a minor way. But at least I feel stuff properly now. All the lids are off, all the skeletons are out of the cupboard.

All I have to do now is control the chaos. Easy? I think not.

As I said to start with - PTSD is nasty and bad - but you are not - and it is very important to believe that.

 

[suzie q]

Welcome to the Forum!!

Like you, I was looking for a support place to better understand my PTSD symptoms and causes. This place turned out to be the most informative and caring link for me. Not only did I find support from those who suffer, I also had support from those that were carers. Having that perspective helped me to understand how my symptoms affect my husband and friends/family. Understanding what I must look like to others allowed me to work on stopping bad behaviors before they got out of hand.

The more you read and post, the more sense my reactions made and the less I would go into a "panic situation". Please read through all the articles and encourage your significant other to participate as well. It will really help your marriage to stay stable and stop unnecessary fussing.

Know that you are not alone, and that you can improve and have a peaceful and fulfilling life by taking the advice of those who are in the same place. PTSD should never define who you "are", it is something you can improve on. For me, working through the causes and letting them go as best we can makes that happen. Sometimes, this needs help from others to accomplish. Don't be shy in asking for that guidance.

Take care and see ya around the forum...suzie q