New Relationship stuff

[LuckiLee]

I have been following along and I feel for you.

My thoughts are that you aren't getting what you need now with just the two of you in this "relationship". How will you ever get your needs met with a 3rd person involved in your lives??

Are you okay with it just because she's being nice, right now?

Good luck, I hope you find a happy healthy home for you and your boy.

 

[abbynormal1929]

The poly thing came from her. I mostly agreed cause she's being nicer and leaving me alone more.

 

[EveHarrington]

The poly thing came from her. I mostly agreed cause she's being nicer and leaving me alone more.

But is it what YOU truly want?

I honestly don’t think that one should agree to poly because their partner is being nice to them for once, instead of being abusive. Switching to poly is a major change.

 

[abbynormal1929]

I don't disagree EveHarrington, but at this very moment with my job and my son, I'm not sure I have the energy to do what is have to do to leave her. I hate to think I'm settling for just keeping my head above water, but I don't have the energy for anything else right now. I'm spending so much energy trying to convince myself that everyone doesn't hate me, and I'm not a terrible parent. I have her blessing to form relationships with others if I need to, and maybe I'll find someone who treats me better that way (which might sound like kind of a messed up way to find happiness, but I'm taking what I can get right now). I appreciate everyone's past and ongoing support. Maybe some day things will be better...

 

[Justmehere]

Just like there is a downside to monogamy, there is a downside to polyamory, even when both couples want it. I think there is high likelihood the solution of an open marriage will self destruct. There is a ton of social stigma with polyamory and with how much you feel under fire, and this situation may add to it rather than solve it over the long haul. I think you have smart hesitations, I also recognize you are exhausted and desperate for anything that will improve the situation. My heart really goes out to you. Don’t loose sight of your freedom of choice. Is there anything that would help dial down the self hate and all the work to battle it? You are putting up with a heck of a lot to do the best you can with what you have got. I hope you keep the door open to consult with a lawyer when you are ready to take more steps forward and out of this chaos.